


Gospel

by SabrinaT



Series: Love in Times of War [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm just bad at things in general, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:29:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 64,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22324837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabrinaT/pseuds/SabrinaT
Summary: It was clear that Isaiah would be the chosen one to infiltrate the new cult that arrived in Birmingham, trying to steal believers from the other temples. What wasn't supposed to happen was the preacher's son laying his sinful eyes on the pastor's daughter.I wrote this because Daryl McCormack is hot af and I don't think this character gets enough love anyways. Sure, maybe Jordan was more your type, and that's alright, you do you, imagine whichever Isaiah floats your boat, eh? This has absolutely nothing to do with any other of my fics, so like ignore them.
Relationships: Finn Shelby/Original Character(s), Finn Shelby/Original Female Character(s), Isaiah Jesus/Original Character(s), Isaiah Jesus/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Love in Times of War [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676992
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	1. Genesis

Everyone believes in something. It was as real as rain falling from the sky, or babies coming from wombs. The issue wasn't in having something to believe in, but rather what would chose to believe in: science, God, family, friends, love. When it came to God, there were plenty of choices too, so just believing in the higher power of an almighty being wasn't enough. Humans were formatted to make choices, to fit those choices into boxes, and to live by rules told to them by those in better positions to rule over the faiths of lesser men. 

For Isaiah, Tommy Shelby was God, and whatever he said, was gospel. He had him at his disposal, aching to follow orders, willing to kill and die. His own father didn't have that kind of power over his son, though Isaiah could be considered a good son, who went to his father's mass, saying the words and knowing when to get up, sit, kneel, and receive the body of Christ. Many women who attended the services seemed to agree, admiring his figure as he walked by, with his cap and well-made suits, commenting on how well he'd go with their daughters, on how such a handsome and God-fearing boy would make the perfect son-in-law. 

Truth be told, they were stupid, going to church was pointless, and being someone's errand boy was becoming old. What was more, fucking prissy white girls in their Sunday dresses was verging on redundant, and Isaiah was left wondering whether he'd deflowered every Mary, Grace, and Elizabeth in the godamned county, or if he forgot their names as soon as they said them. It was an act of rebellion when he was fifteen, it had become a coping mechanism by the age of seventeen, and was now just a way to pass the time, and to stick it to the uptight ladies of Birmingham, who would shiver at the thought of a black man inside their daughters. Shit, it didn't even feel good anymore; it didn't feel like anything at all. The cocaine made it bearable, made him able to withstand the act, but didn't make it enjoyable. His mind ran rampant, miles away from whatever secluded room those girls were able to find. In all seriousness, they were using him just as he was using them, but for different purposes: which young lady didn't want to be able to go tell their friends about the dirty, filthy things they'd done with a Peaky boy? Besides, the pastor's son was a hot commodity due to his tall, strong figure. The second choice would be Finn Shelby, who was usually too high and too out of himself to be of any use. He'd even stopped paying prostitutes to visit his office during lunch time, his whole being destroyed by the narcotics and the pressure. 

But still, when Tommy Shelby spoke, he listened, and obeyed, and went off on whatever mission he was given, like the good boy he was, like the well trained sucker he saw in the mirror. That's how he showed up at the new church, built in record time just outside of town. 

It was a shed, only bigger, Isaiah concluded, as he stood outside for a good five minutes, debating on whether it was even worth the time of day to go see what these new idiots were up to. Clearly foreign, with ridiculous accents, there were ten of them: a mother, a father, and eight kids, ranging from a newborn baby to a young woman. Granted, Isaiah hadn't seen them himself, but the information came from a good source; the same who had warned them of the growing group of people who attended their Sunday services, and of the messages being spread to sensitive ears. 

Inside, nothing worth noting: a donation box to one side, a table with coffee, tea, and some biscuits, and a very tall man, with a petite woman by his side, shaking everyone's hand as they came in. They did the same with Isaiah, who tried his best not to spit on their faces and act as someone who was genuinely curious about what they preached about. 

"We advocate for a society without violence, following the teachings of the Bible" the man informed, as the woman nodded emphatically. 

"Interesting" Isaiah replied, his whole body trembling with laughter. No violence, huh? Did they even know where the fuck they were? England itself would crumble without violence. 

"If you need to, grab a Bible from my daughter, she's right through there" the man added, turning to shake hands with a lady who usually attended Jeremiah's service. 

The whole building smelled like paint, which was sickening. It had been there for around two weeks, and there was no need for it to smell that new. Furthermore, there was no need for everything to be white and brown, the contrast was stark and tasteless, just like the way the man had spoken to him, with that weird way to pronounce hollow words. At leasst there were pews, Isaiah thought, which gave him somewhere to seat and try to endure what was gearing up to be a long and boring morning. 

"A Bible, sir?" he heard a voice say, coming from his left. As promised, there was a young woman, behind a table, with piles of books in front of her. In fact, one of those books was in her hand, extended toward him, two light-brown eyes fixed on him, as there was no one else around. 

"Sure" Isaiah replied, taking the book and feeling the familiar weight of the paper and ink. He knew it well enough to forego the offer, but she seemed very keen on giving it to him. Besides, he had nothing better to do, and if he got too bored, it would at least be a distraction. 

It was only when he sat down that he noticed the corner of the first page had been ripped, and not very precisely either, as if it had been done in a hurry. There was no way to tell when or why it had been done, but it was intriguing enough to make Isaiah Jesus open the book on that very page, the simple mystery penetrating through the constant boredom he felt. 

_DO NOT return this to me, KEEP IT in your posession. I know who you are, and I know what you're doing here. The Peaky Blinders need to stop this before it goes too far. My parents are dangerous. Come back NEXT WEEK, and give me this with a plan to put an end to it. DO NOT TALK TO ME, DON'T LOOK AT ME. Nod twice if you agree._

Each word of that missive was more surprising than the one before that. How the hell did the girl know who he was? How did she know he'd be there, and how did she know it was him who'd be coming? What's more, what did she mean by her parents being dangerous? They weren't dangerous to her, judging by her willingness to wait a week for a plan. But damn, was he really in a position to refuse aiding someone who was clearly under distress? The least he could do was bring this information to Tommy, who would know what to do. Somehow feeling like the young woman had her eyes on the back of his head, he nodded twice, as instructed, and took a deep breath. 


	2. Exodus

"I fucking knew it" Tommy was fuming, the Bible given to Isaiah in his hand. It had been a while since he'd been that angry, and even Finn had woken up from his usual trance to wonder what the fuck was going on. 

"What does she look like?" Polly enquired, lighting her cigarette with military precision. "Pretty, reddish blonde hair, brown eyes?"

"Yes" Isaiah informed, trying his best to remember what he could about the doe-eyed woman who had asked for their help. He didn't look at her enough to gauge her every detail, but he'd retained that much about her. "Young, big eyes"

"That's the one. I saw her last week, on Sunday. I noticed her 'cause she hadn't been there before" Polly added, studying the book and the small message, written in pencil. "You sure she didn't seem scared?"

"Not at all, she looked normal to me. I wouldn't have suspected a thing if she hadn't written this. And I thought... if she's willing to wait a week for a reply, she mustn't be in immediate danger" Isaiah admitted, pittying every centimetre of Finn Shelby's face, pale as a ghost, heavy bags under his eyes, though he spent all day sleeping, or pretending to sleep. His best friend, once a red-blooded, sex-crazed, adrenaline-fueled prime example of a British young man, was now a cadaver, wasting away each day that he was able to survive. 

"These bastards... these bastards are going to try and lure as many people as they fucking can into their fucking cult, and then they're gonna... I don't even know, fucks sake. I don't even fucking know what they want, and I don't understand why I'm the one who has to do something about it" Tommy said, tension radiating from his every pore. He too looked tired, overwhelmed, the whole family was on the brink of an explosion. "Tell that girl there's nothing we can do. She's welcome to kill them all, and I'll even make sure that she won't go to prison for it. Give her a fucking gun, a machete, go buy some rat poison, I don't give a fucking rat's ass, but tell her to take care of her own fucking problems. I've enough as it is" 

"Tommy..."

"Isaiah, I said I DON'T CARE" Tommy screamed, storming out of the room, leaving Polly, Arthur, Isaiah, and Finn behind. 

"Arthur, I can't just sit still" Isaiah pleaded to the oldest of the Shelby brothers, a deranged man who was too unstable to lead, but who was his last hope of getting some help to the girl. 

"I don't know why you care so much, lad" Arthur shrugged, his eyes laying on his baby brother, whose bloodshot eyes made an appearance once in a blue moon, when he gathered strength for it. 

"She asked me for help, she clearly thought we were her last hope" Isaiah explained, getting up from his chair and picking up the book from Polly, who had put it on the table and sighed once Tommy left. "I won't be able to sleep at night knowing that someone asked me for help, and I did nothing. I've done everything that was asked of me, and most of it I can't even say out loud. If this is the way I make up for all the bad I've done, then I'm willing to do whatever it takes"

"First, we need to figure out what's wrong. I know Tommy was suspicious of these people settling here, but we don't actually have proof that they're dangerous. Go back there next Sunday, and give this back to the girl; we'll help her if we can, in exchange for information on her parents" Polly ordered, opening the Bible to the second page, and handing Isaiah a pencil. 

"I can't write" Finn said, his voice startling both his aunt and his best friend, who weren't expecting to hear him speaking. 

"I know, I know, it's alright. Go back to sleep" Polly said, patting him on the head, forcing his forehead back to the table, where he seemed perfectly fine drifting off again. "Go on, write the damn thing and go home. Tell your father about this, and ask him to see if anyone he knows has heard of these people before" 

"Thank you" Isaiah whispered, not wanting to wake Finn up, and leaving the Shelby family home as quietly and quickly as he could. He wished Sunday would come faster, so that he could give that girl hope, and so that he could sleep at night a bit better. 

* * *

"Three new visitors this week. That's good, but not good enough" Jebediah said, looking over the table, where his wife and children sat. "You know what we must do, don't we, children?" 

"Yes, father" the children said, with the exception of the baby, and of the eldest daughter, who mouthed it but didn't use her voice. She knew she'd get beaten if she was caught ignoring her dad, and she'd had enough of that. However, even if she wasn't blatant, she'd be damned if she did better the following week. Their job was to get people to attend their service, using their adorable faces and baby voices to draw believers from other religions, over to theirs. The younger kids did much better than her anyway, and she'd rather sneak off somewhere and work on her reading and writing, skills her father and mother had insisted she remain ignorant of. 

"Very well, children. Eat" the father ordered, and only then did they pick up their utensils, and started eating. 

"Sarah, how many Bibles were requested?" the mother, Mary, asked. 

"About ten" the oldest girl replied, as she chewed an almost-raw potato. Her mother couldn't cook to save her life, but it was the only food in the house, and her stomach had been rumbling for a bit. 

"Do better" Mary insisted, receiving a nod from her husband. 

"I'm sorry" Sarah responded, swallowing her potato, and stabbing another one with all the rage in her heart.


	3. Leviticus

Sunday came, and Isaiah Jesus woke up, thanked God he woke up alone, showered, and got dressed. Someone had left a garter belt on his nightstand, and he felt nothing but rage at the sight of it. He couldn’t tell whether it had been a blonde, a brunette, or a redhead. What he knew was that he was glad she was gone, back to her insignificant life, allowing him to live his.

Jeremiah wasn’t home, and neither was his coat, which meant he probably had gone to church already, to prepare for service. As for himself, Isaiah decided he too would leave the house as soon as humanly possible, a cigarette in his mouth, as he headed to the new church.

It still smelled like paint, it still looked awful, inside and out. What was more, the same tall man and short woman were at the entrance, making sure they said a few words to each of person who crossed their threshold. 

“Welcome back, son” the man said, smiling at Isaiah, his face seemingly making a great deal of effort to manage that expression. The woman remained silent, expressionless, following a man with her eyes. 

“Thank you. Are we allowed to go in?” Isaiah asked, trying to spot the same girl he’d seen last time, the one who hadn’t asked for help.

”Of course, my child” the woman deigned to say, her too smiling weakly. 

Though being called a child was absolutely not alright with him, Isaiah fought the temptation of turning around and telling them to go fuck themselves, and went through the door that led to the aisle and main portion of the so-called church. 

And, of course, there she was: demure dress, big kind brown eyes, blonde hair with the slightest hint of red (or was it pink? He couldn’t tell), and sweet expression. In front of her, piles of Bibles.

”Hey” he said, hoping it was alright to address her. 

“Hi” she replied, not bothering to try and smile like her parents did. It was a shame, Isaiah seemed, because she would most likely look positively beautiful if she smiled. 

“I took one of these last week. Sorry” he stated, producing the book from his coat pocket and handing it to her. Without skipping a beat, the girl opened the Bible to the second page and cast a glance at the message.

”That’s no problem. Hope it was useful” she said, her eyes focusing on the letters and not on Isaiah himself, as if she was trying to avoid even looking at him, as if the eye contact would ruin their plan.

”It was” 

“Yes” she stated, looking around and finding no one around. “Will you still be here after service?”

”Should I?”

”Absolutely not. Where’s safe?”

”Everywhere, if you’ve got one of these” Isaiah chuckled, showing her his pistol as discreetely as he could. If she wanted to take it as arrogance, a display of strength, or light flirtation, she could take her merry pick. However, she didn't reply with the usual blushing cheeks and cerimonial biting of the lip. 

"I've got one of those, and I still get beaten every time I cough without permission" the girl deadpanned, the harshness of her words hitting Isaiah like a thousand needles. "It's not about what you've got"

"I'm sorry"

"That's fine. You and your friends run the Garrison pub, don't you?"

"Yes, we do" Isaiah confirmed, slightly taken aback by how much the young woman knew about him, whereas he didn't even know her name. "Three o'clock?"

"Two-thirty" she countered, looking at him with a bit more attention than before, probably trying to remember what he looked like, to find him in a busy pub. "Thank you. I don't know what your name is"

"It's Isaiah, and that's no problem. Yours?"

"Sarah" she informed, looking around one more time, before leaning into him and lowering her voice even further. "My pistol is bigger than yours"

And with that, she straightened her back, put on a completely different facial expression, and greeted an elderly couple with a beaming smile, handing them two Bibles and urging them to sit down. It was apparently the end of their conversation, and Isaiah took his seat as well, completely exhausted. Not only didn't she respond to his flirt, but she also made a show of putting him in his place, which was honestly slightly refreshing. What did she even mean, what kind of pistol did she have? Did she even have one? Or was she messing with him? Those questions were so present in his mind he couldn't even remember what the sermon was about. What he did remember was that Sarah sat at the back of the church, and although she got up and sat like the rest of them, she didn't say a single word, didn't recite a single prayer, and had her well-shaped nose buried in a book which was not the Bible. 

* * *

"Why here?" Finn was asking when Isaiah sat a pint of lager in front of him.

"I told you, the girl who asked for help told me to meet her here. And I thought you needed to leave the house, for once" Isaiah responded, trying to gauge whether Finn was going to collapse on the ground, the table, or even if he was going to miraculously keep on sitting straight, his eyes looking mildly alert.

"I hate it" the youngest Shelby informed, letting out a deep breath. "What does she want?"

"She'll tell us that herself. Aren't you curious?"

"No" Finn replied, to the surprise of absolutely no one.

"We need to get you some help"

"For what?"

"Do you not see yourself, mate? Do you not understand you're dying?" Isaiah asked, although it wasn't neither the time or the place to discuss that subject. It was beyond obvious Finn didn't have the first clue of what was going on around him, let alone of what was happening to himself.

"Spectacular. Let me" was the answer, the boy's voice coming out whiny and childish, as if he was asking Isaiah to give him back his binky.

However, there was no more time to convince Finn that something was wrong: Sarah herself walked through the door, every bit the pious woman she was undoubtedly raised to be, her figure wrapped in a heavy wool coat, and a wide-brimmed hat on her head. She spotted Isaiah before long, and walked over to his table, her eyes focusing on Finn immediately, as he had slid down the chair and was now either passed out or sleeping in his seat.

"Your friend is an addict" Sarah said, in the deadpan voice she'd used before.

"He is. But he's my best friend, my brother, and a Shelby, too" Isaiah replied, trying to save whatever dignity the boy still had.

"I didn't mean it as an insult. I've seen it before, and it is rarely ever their fault" she informed, taking off her coat, her hat, and approaching Finn, observing him, so close her nose would touch his skin eventually. With seemingly some expertise, she took his eyelid and lifted it up, to see the bloodshot eyes concealed by his stupor. "Have you taken him to a doctor?"

"They told us there's nothing to be done. He refuses to stop sniffing the damn thing" Isaiah informed, with a heart as heavy as can be. He himself had taken it plenty, but seeing what had happened to his brother in arms, snow was no longer allowed, not even to withstand the casual one-night stand.

"I think I can help" Sarah said, sitting down on a chair next to Finn, and roling up the sleeves of her simple shirt. "His pulse is weak, but not as weak as a dying man's would be. I think there's hope"

"And how do you know that?"

"It was a doctor who helped me how to read and write. He treated people with addictions: alcohol, drugs, stuff like that. And I learned a bit, you know" Sarah sighed, taking out a pocket watch and Finn's wrist, counting his heartbeats and checking the time. "What he needs is to get clean, and then he'll need help coping with whatever it is that's making him use"

"Oh. Alright. Sorry, I don't know why I was rude" Isaiah didn't usually apologise, but somehow Sarah made him do just that, denouncing the error of his way with women, the ever-present sensation that they were not very useful, unless a man found himself in need of relief. Obviously, it was wrong of him to think that, as he was wrong about everything he had thought about the pastor's daughter.

"It's your friend, and I shouldn't have come in here and start talking about him and touching him like that" Sarah admitted, looking over the pint and the whisky, and looking at the bar. "Is the gin any good here?"

"The... hm. I don't know actually" Isaiah said, surveying the bottles to see if there was even a gin.

"Nevermind. Ok, here's the deal" Sarah sat up straight and interlaced her fingers on her lap, assuming a posture beyond her young years. "We came from Canada, me and my family. I say came, but it was more of a... invited to leave kind of situation. My dad and my mom like to get to a place, settle down, and gain believers in whatever crap they decide to preach that day. They talk a lot about peace and non-violence, although it's all a bunch of shit: they beat me and my siblings at any chance they get" She took a deep breath, and surveyed the room once again, before continuing to speak. "I don't think that's unusual; what is unusual is that people who join the church are then gradually depleated of their money, homes, any kind of valuable asset they might have. I've seen my mom and dad take wedding bands, engagement rings, heirlooms, all sorts of things. They take everything from those people, claiming to need it to build a community where all the members can live together and with God. But then we're forced to leave by authorities who catch on to what they're doing"

"Shit" was all Isaiah could say, his eyes wide open. "And now they've come here? Why?"

"Can't you guess? People here know about the Peaky Blinders, and some don't exactly agree with what you guys are doing; imagine the amount of members you can get if you promise to take them away from earthly messes, and go to live somewhere they describe as heaven on earth?" Sarah explained, apparently setlling for not having any drink. "I don't want them to keep on scamming and doing this to innocent people. More than that, I don't want them to keep using my younger siblings as bait for their crimes"

There it was: the real reason she wanted help, not for her, and maybe not even to the unsuspecting victims of her parents; but for her siblings, who weren't too far gone to be taken out of that environment, and make something of themselves. Like her, they probably were forced to work for their parents, and were beaten without mercy if they didn't do as they were told.

"What can we do?" Isaiah asked, deciding there and then to do whatever it took to help this girl and her younger brothers and sisters, to save them from the destiny he himself had fallen victim to.


	4. Numbers

Finn had to be taken to his own house, and had to be locked inside. Under the pretense of doing some work with local charities, Sarah was able to escape the hell that was her own living situation, settling with her patient, and making damn sure he couldn't escape, or even leave his bed. It was torture to see a human being going through withdrawal, but it was necessary, he had to get rid of the poison before he could recover, and work on being sober. Isaiah too decided to stay with his friend, deeming it necessary to have someone around who could overpower the youngest Shelby if it was needed.

A week went by, and he was finally breathing a bit easier, and was sleeping peacefully like before. The cocaine he'd taken was out of his system, and only now could something be done to make sure he healed, and stayed away from the stuff. The three of them were exhausted, and although Finn slept just fine, neither Sarah nor Isaiah did, one of them always awake to make sure the boy's heart was still beating, and that he hadn't left them suddenly.

"I think you're a magician" Isaiah confessed, as they both sat on the couch, with a mug of tea each. The liquid was wonderfully warm, and it soothed the pain of sleeping on a couch for over seven days. What was more, they weren't as scared now as they were the days before, when Finn cried, threw up, threatened to kill himself, and tried to harm himself and them.

"Not really, no" Sarah replied, shrugging as if she had done nothing more than go to the corner store to buy some napkins. In reality, she'd stayed awake for days in a row, barely eating, not taking her eyes off Finn, measuring his pulse every half hour, forcing him to eat and drink water, managing to escape his furious outbursts. Furthermore, she'd done it all without even complaining, with a selflessness only a sacred text could illustrate. Isaiah and the Blinders had already offered to help, she didn't need to heal Finn for them to aid her in taking down her own parents. But she'd done it anyway, vowing to rid that tormented soul of his addiction, helping him in the quest to find a normal life, and even happiness.

"How can I ever thank you enough?"

"Well, first we need to make sure he doesn't relapse, or die" she informed with a chuckle. "Then, you're already helping me with my parents, which is very kind"

"Shouldn't be too difficult" Isaiah reckoned, his whole body able to relax, his muscles releasing the tension, leaving behind a mild soreness that would go away with time. "Besides, I think it's the only way I'll be able to ever sleep well at night"

"Please, tell me you're not doing coke as well"

"Used to, but not like Finn. After he started using heavily, I stopped. No, I mean that I've done things I'm not proud of, and that I'm not sure I can live with. Helping you and your siblings is a way of... I don't know, pay for what I've done, and for what I will do in the future" he said, hands around the mug, basking in the heat coming from the container. And then there was the fireplace, surrounding them both in the red shades of the fire within, providing more comfort than he could ever deserve.

"I think I get that" Sarah replied, looking at Isaiah and seeing just how tired he was, and how he even seemed to have lost weight in the space of a week. "I know that the Peaky Blinders aren't entirely... legal, I guess. So don't worry, I won't ask you what it is you need to attone for"

"If you did, I would probably tell you" he admitted, with the first smile in what seemed like months. "How come I feel safe when you're around? I don't fear for Finn, now that he has you"

"That's a very nice thing to say. Might be because I've experience in cases like this. Or because I've seven brothers and sisters who depend on me to survive, so I'm used to taking care of others, used to making them feel as if nothing could ever come to harm them" Sarah mused, looking at the fire, the light coming from there tinting her features with an angelical glow, that didn't escape Isaiah's tired eyes.

"Probably it, yeah" he ended up saying, observing his companion, trying not to forget a single detail of her face, of the way her hands moved when she took a sip of the tea, of the elegant manner in which she sat, legs extended, one ankle over the other. Her clothes were simple, but always well taken care of, even the ones who looked centuries old. In a flash, he could see her whole life in front of his eyes, and then his own, up until the moment the two intertwined.

"What?" Sarah asked with a laugh, noticing him staring at her, without doing as much as blinking. In all honesty, Isaiah was too tired to pretend he wasn't staring, and too tired to act as if he didn't think the world of her; too exhausted to even consider stopping his observation, too taken by the way he could tell it didn't bother her one bit that he couldn't look away.

"I think I want to kiss you" he deadpanned, the simple sentence taking every bit of strength he still had in him.

"Right" Sarah responded, furrowing her brow and laughing right in his face. "As if I don't know you're trying to get a shag out of me, like you've done with all the other girls you've crossed paths with"

"I didn't say that. I said I want to kiss you" Isaiah assured, gaining a surge of energy from the clear jab he had fallen victim to. Again, how in the hell did she know what he did with his life? Needless to say, it was simply because everyone in town knew: his usual lady companions weren't very good at keeping anything a secret.

"That's fair, I'm sorry"

"Unless you do want a shag" Isaiah interrupted, making her laugh a bit louder. 

"You look like you're barely awake" Sarah mocked, propping her feet up on the small coffee table, drinking the rest of her tea, and deciding to look at Isaiah too, instead of avoiding his eyes. "You're not the only one though, I could sleep for a month"

"Hey" Isaiah called out to her, when her gaze had turned back to the fire, away from his tired face.

"Huh?"

"I meant what I said, about wanting to kiss you, you know? Not just to shag you either" Isaiah confessed, looking down at his hands, not remembering drinking any alcohol, but feeling tipsy nonetheless. 

"Then why?" Sarah asked in return, leaning her head onto the wall and closing her eyes for a second, before opening them again, turning to her companion, who seemed a bit closer now, even though she didn't feel him move. He really did have some green in his eyes, didn't he? And lashes, and lips she would probably enjoy kissing.But she'd be damned if she was gonna fall for such an obvious ploy. And why was that, exactly? Why was it that she couldn't have what every girl in the region already had? Why should she deny herself a pleasure as simple as that one? Wouldn't be on account of religion, she failed to give a toss about that; but rather on account of arrogance: she thought herself smarter than the other girls Isaiah Jesus had seduced, when in reality, she was just stupid for not doing the same. That was the conclusion that propelled her head closer to his, and her lips to expect his to make the first move.

"Can I have some water now?" a sudden voice made them both jump in their seats, parting lips that were almost joined together.

"Yes, yes, of course you can, sweetheart. Or maybe some tea? Toast?" Sarah asked, getting up and busying herself leading Finn to the kitchen, and making him sit down, a hand pushing down on his shoulder.

"I can have tea?" Finn asked, looking around in complete confusion. He vaguely remembered being told he couldn't have anything else but water, a fleeting memory he'd kept from a couple of days before, when he threw up right after eating a piece of toast. However, it had been a one-time occurence, and afterwards he'd been well enough to eat toast, and bread, and tea.

"Sure" Sarah assured, putting the kettle on, and waiting for the water to boil.

As for Isaiah, he sat still in the couch, trying his hardest not to lose his grip on reality. Had it been real, or had he been asleep the whole time, dreaming about kissing the pastor's daughter? It had to have been, because she was now in the kitchen, making tea, and Finn was there, and she didn't seem at all like she would ever want to kiss him. And the word "shag" was mentioned? No, it had to have been a dream.

Right?


	5. Deuteronomy

"So you didn't"

"No"

"But you wanted to"

"Yes"

"But you didn't"

"No"

"Why not?"

That conversation was getting old. Finn hadn't stopped asking about Sarah, talking about Sarah, and wanting to go see Sarah. She'd gone back to her own home, which was attached to her family's church, and they'd only see her when they attended the services on Sundays. Finn started to go to see his new best friend, and Isaiah kept going because he'd promised to help, but still didn't know what to do. So far, neither the pastor nor his creepy wife had done or said anything that could be considered disruptive, all they did was talk about peace and about how it was wrong that the Peaky Blinders ran everything around Birmingham. It wouldn't be possible to actually go through with anything until the first signs of coercion were shown, so it was more of a waiting game than anything else.

"Because you showed up, that's why. There you go, can we change subjects now?" Isaiah pleaded, wanting to go home, sleep, get his mind off the whole situation, try and forget he'd ever told Sarah Williams he wanted to kiss her.

"That why you're angry with me?" Finn asked in return, the two boys sitting on his couch, the fireplace lit as it had been when the younger of the two was still in the process of being purged of his poison. The whole ambiance reminded Isaiah of Sarah, of how perfect she looked in the dimly lit living room. There was no question that she had an effect on him; the question was what kind of effect it had been. Truthully, Isaiah didn't want to know. The last thing he needed was to feel for someone the same way Tommy Shelby had felt for Grace Burgess, a romance that ended in tragedy. Even more severe would be falling in love with a girl whose parents' were con artists and thieves.

"I'm not angry, Finn. I really am just tired, that's all" Isaiah admitted, letting out the breath he'd been holding. If only the tension and thoughts were that easy to get rid of...

"I know, I'm sorry. It's all because of me" the youngest Shelby replied, head low, holding his glass of sparkling water.

"It's not, mate. It's not, trust me" the preacher's son assured, his own thoughts running rampant through the city of Birmingham and arriving where he wished he was: the new church.

"You can talk to me. I won't judge. Not after the state you've seen me in" Finn joked, but the truth was there. He knew Isaiah since before he was born, and they were brothers; that meant he knew damn well something was going on, something Isaiah didn't want to admit to it, to himself, or to others. The torture was evident in his face, and in the way he clenched his fists at times, when he thought no one was looking.

"Nah, it's stupid, I'm probably just delusional or something"

"Still, you need to tell me, in case we need a doctor" Finn chuckled, certain that it wasn't a case for a medical professional. If anything, it was a case for a level-headed friend, with a good pair of working eyes and a bit of common sense.

"Ugh, fine" Isaiah spat, sitting back and straightening his back, refusing to look at his best friend, who, in turn, was staring at him, unable to wait to hear the words he was for sure about to say. "I can't stop thinking about her; every day, every bit of my day, I'm thinking about her. I don't know why, and I sure as hell wish it would stop"

There it was, Finn thought to himself, biting the inside of his cheeks so that he didn't laugh or smile, like he wanted to. Finally, Isaiah was in love, he was smitten, enamored, enchanted, and captivated. It was a big occasion, as he was the first of the two to feel such a noble emotion.

"And I know that's just because I didn't fuck her, or because she helped you, or because she's a damsel in distress. But fuck me, god damn it..." Isaiah continued, not even taking breaks to breathe. It was ridiculous, it was stupid, and there was nothing dumber than what he'd just said. But Finn looked like the cat who ate the canary. Had he lost his mind?

"First off, I'm pretty sure you'd still be in love with her..."

"I'm not in love with her" Isaiah interrupted, but a simple look from his best friend stopped his protests.

"You'd still be in love with her even if you'd shagged her. It might be because she helped me, for which I am incredibly thankful, and it allowed you to spend more time with her, getting to know how incredible she is" Finn stated, his whole being glowing. He had no such interest in Sarah, but he did have a lot riding on Isaiah marrying the girl. He could see how happy they were when they were together, and how they made a formidable team. Isaiah, especially, looked way less defeated when she was around. As for Sarah, she was not one for showing emotion outwardly, but the tenderness with which she had looked after Finn, and the calm she'd displayed in all moments, even the worse ones, spoke of other qualities she kept hidden, but that Isaiah had picked up on, even if he didn't know it yet. They'd be so good together, and so happy. 

"I'm not in love with her" was the response, the preacher's son clenching his fists once again. Isaiah didn't even know what being in love meant, what it was like: his mother had died when he was so little he didn't remember her face, let alone if his parents were in love, and what it looked like. The only example he had was Tommy and Grace, and he sure as hell didn't want nothing to do with that. 

"How do you know that?" Finn asked, arrogantly, and with a bit of the Shelby attitude he'd lost with the cocaine. He knew he was right, and Isaiah was wrong, and there was nothing to be done against evidence. Why was his best friend doing this to himself, living in denial, forcing himself not to act on feelings that were the only positive and bright thing in his near future? Why was he still sitting there, instead of marching on to the church, scoop Sarah up, and taking her to his father, so that he could marry them on the spot?

"I know it because I... because I don't want to be. I can't be. You can't fall in love with someone right after you've met them, you can't... I can't... I won't" Isaiah stammered, getting up from the sofa and pacing around the small living space. "Why would I? She's just a girl, she's just... she's..."

"Say her name, then. If you really have no feelings for her, you should be able to say her name, and you haven't, in weeks. I've been clean for almost a month, and you haven't said her name. Why is that? Besides, when you told me about how you almost kissed, you told me you wanted to kiss her, not to shag her. And that's not what you normally do. You usually just need a fuck, and get what you want, without even giving the girl a second thought. Am I lying?"

"No" Isaiah had to admit, but it wasn't without difficulty. How dare Finn sound so much older and wiser? Not even last month, he was convulsing and yelling, unable to function without the drug that had taken over his life. Now, he was acting as if he knew everything, as if he was merely presenting evidence and making his brother see what he was refusing to, or was too ignorant to. 

"So, what's the conclusion? The logical conclusion, I mean" Finn urged, as Isaiah stopped walking around in circles, and decided to simply face the fire, lost in contemplation. 

"That... that maybe I do feel something for her" Isaiah forced himself to say, hands deep into his pockets, now that he had been defeated. "She's not special though, is she? Maybe any of the other girls would've had this effect on me if I had been forced to..."

"Isaiah, listen to yourself, mate! You're seriously trying to convince me, and yourself, that a girl who withstands physical abuse for the sake of her siblings isn't special. That a girl who manages to drag another human being from death isn't special. She reached out to you, she took a leap of faith, to prevent her own parents from doing as much as steal some old lady's jewels" Finn almost yelled, wanting nothing more but to beat Isaiah Jesus into a pulp of ignorance and stupidity. "You're being a little bitch. And I need to tell you this, because no one else will" 

"What did you just say to me?" Isaiah asked in disbelief. 

"The truth, Isaiah. The fucking truth, mate. You need to be told the truth, or else you'll lose her. You'll lose her to someone who has a head on his shoulders, and who'll see how special and precious that woman is. And I can assure you that a woman with a heart like that will most likely end up marrying some arsehole who treats her as a slave, and takes advantage of her good nature" Finn stated, wanting to shock Isaiah, but ending up a bit shocked himself. He didn't really think Sarah would marry someone like her father, but saying it like that... it seemed possible. It was scary, but true. "Are you going to wait until her family marries her off to some idiot who believes in what they do?An idiot who will lock her at home, make her carry child after child, until she dies before she turns thirty?"

"I..."

"No, no, this is reality, Isaiah! Do you know how much I would give, how much I would give up, to find someone to look at the way you look at her? I saw it! I might've been out of it, and too sick to form a thought, but I remember the way you looked at her. In church too, you couldn't stop looking at her, you couldn't take your eyes off her, you were even breathing in the same rhythm she was. Please. I am begging you not to let her get away" Finn was almost crying, and rightfully so: he wanted someone to love so badly, and seeing his best friend, the one closest to him, making such an effort to throw something so precious away... 

Isaiah didn't even look at his best friend, before grabbing his coat and storming out the door, not even caring to put his Peaky cap on, facing the stormy and windy night with mighty determination. Finn decided to follow, just in case something happened and Isaiah needed assistance. However, he could do nothing but follow a couple of steps behind, as the preacher's boy was walking so fast it was almost impossible to catch up. 

Needless to say, Isaiah Jesus headed straight to the car Tommy usually lent Finn for him to practise, got behind the wheel, and turned on the machine, waiting for Finn to get in before driving way too fast to the only destination he seemed to remember at that critical moment. 

"Don't let me hesitate. If I try to turn back..." 

"Deal" Finn assured, as Isaiah parked the car a bit far from the church, to prevent anyone from knowing they were there, and come investigate. If the tall pastor, or his wife, or even one of the kids, heard the car approaching, their whole operation would be blown; it was crucial for them that only Sarah knew. That did pose an issue, though. "How are we gonna get her to come out here, without waking everyone else?"

"I actually have no idea" Isaiah admitted, stopping his determined march toward the church. "If her parents find out, they might... I don't really want to think about it" he stated, a shiver running up and down his spine. They already beat her, if two men showed up in the middle of the night trying to lure her away from home, they'd probably lock her up or send her away. 

The house itself was dark, except for a small light in the downstairs floor. The attached temple was dark as well, so at least there wasn't a big possibility of a night-time service disrupting the plan. In all honesty, the Peaky Blinders were good at a lot of illegal shit, but none of it was heavy on stealth. 

"So? Any brilliant ideas?" Finn asked, about a hundred metres from the house, though Isaiah's nervous energy radiated far beyond that. If only Sarah could feel it, and come out spontaneously.

"Yeah, actually" Isaiah replied, proceeding to do the most bizarre set of actions Finn had ever seen: he took off his coat, his suit jacket, getting down to his shirt and suspenders. His pistol got tucked into his pants, within easy reach, and just as smoothly, Finn's own weapon was taken, and the boy himself forced to sit down on the ground, protected by the bushes they hid behind. If anything happened, he wouldn't be seen. 

"Isaiah, what the fuck..." 

"Shut up. If I'm not back in half an hour, just fuck off out of here, alright? You need to promise me that. Take the car, and go back home" Isaiah asked, turning to Finn and clearly begging. "Promise me that, or we'll both turn back right now"

"Alright, alright. I promise" Finn promised, watching as Isaiah nodded, and walked away, his tall figure disappearing from Finn's line of sight. 


	6. Joshua

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please just assume that it's rainy with a chance of lemons from here on out.  
> Meaning smut, y'all.  
> I mean someone is getting laid some time in the future.

Isaiah would eventually be asked what on earth had posessed him to do something so obviously reckless and stupid, without even thinking about it for more than two seconds. Sure, he had two guns, and he was strong, probably stronger than Sarah's dad and mom. But fucking hell, what if they also had guns? What if there was someone there? And what if they did do something to Sarah, what if... what if she paid the price for his mistake, for his idiocy?

That was the thought that almost made him turn back, get Finn, and run for the hills. But then his heart protested: it had been promised the sight of the woman who caused it to beat faster, and now the brain was telling it to turn back and be safe. But safety wasn't what it was about, it hadn't been safety to tell Isaiah the way to go was forward. And he couldn't back down, he wouldn't. Promising himself to simply peak through the window, in hopes that it was Sarah who was there, the last person awake in the Williams household, Isaiah moved carefully, trying not to even kick a stone. 

Every bit of his skin was on fire, his heart beating out of his chest, both hands ready to pick up the weapons at any sign of life. Inch by painful inch, he approached the window, hoping and praying the curtains didn't conceal the inside. And, sure, enough they didn't: a dimly lit, poorly decorated living room was visible, a single lampshade illuminating a small table, with a pile of about three heavy books on it. In front of them, Sarah herself, a miracle beyond comprehension. She seemed to be alone, and Isaiah decided it had to be there and then, without hesitation. 

How he caught her attention, he didn't know; what was obvious was that she had been scared half to death, when she lifted her head from her reading and saw a figure standing outside. The fact that it was Isaiah didn't make it that much better, as Sarah feared the worse about Finn. Why else would his best friend come to her house, knowing the obvious danger he'd be in if he did so?

"What the hell are you doing here? Are you insane?" she mouthed, going out of sight and reappearing at the door, opening and closing it as careful and silently as she could.

"Yes" Isaiah replied, his face opening up in a smile, wider than Sarah had seen from him before. 

"Oh fuck, you're high on fucking snow, aren't you? Isaiah..."

"No, not at all, I'm really not, I promise" he replied, becoming serious again, looking at her straight in the eyes. She really did have eyes the colour of chocolate, didn't she? Eyes that he could get lost in, and cheeks he wanted to caress, and lips he wanted to....

"Why the fuck are you here, then?" she asked, in a state of disbelief that made her say every profane word in the book. 

"Where is safe?" he replied, looking around, not understanding the iony of mimicking the words she'd once spoken to him.

"Everywhere, if you've got those" Sarah responded, picking up on the little joke Isaiah didn't realise he'd made. Now, however, he remembered, and looked down at the two pistols, knowing fully well that there were places and situations when all the fire power in the world wouldn't keep them safe. "The woods, they don't know them, and don't go in there"

So that's where they went, walking side by side. Only when they reached a depth of trees that would completely shield their voices from the house, Sarah stopped, and turned to face Isaiah, who was now a little less sure of what he wanted to do. Getting Sarah out of the house was a feat in itself, but now, facing the prospect of asking her to accept the fact that he was most likely in love with her... death almost seemed preferable. 

"So?" she urged, hands on her waist, pretty sure the man had lost his mind. His eyes were clear, so it wasn't drugs, and he didn't smell like alcohol, he smelled like soap, and lemon, and... well, not alcohol, that's for sure. "Let me guess, you were bored and decided to come here, see if I was..."

But she didn't get to finish her sentence. A strong arm snaked around her waist, enveloping her figure, and pulling her into the only source of heat around; at the same time, those lips, the same ones she'd admired in the past, touched down upon hers, and produced a cluster of energy like none of them ever felt. Isaiah himself felt his knees going slightly weak, but held on strong, as to not let Sarah fall, her figure completely supported by him. 

"I decided to come here because I'm in love with you" Isaiah ended up saying, when he was able to back away a bit, still holding the object of his affection close to him, her hands flat against his chest. "And it was brought to my attention that I should do something about it, before..."

"Before?"

"Before someone got to you first, and took advantage of you" he admitted, hoping she wouldn't be offended. 

"Funny you should say that" Sarah responded with a chuckle, not seeming very bothered by the proximity they maintained. "How do I know you're not the one who's going to take advantage of me?"

"I give you my word" Isaiah promised, knowing fully well that it wasn't nearly enough, and understanding any kind of partnership involving trust had nothing more than promises to function. "My word, and my love. That's what I have to give you. Protection, too, and a home"

"You mean... you're asking me to..."

"I'm asking you to consider it. No need to give me an answer now. Just think about it" Isaiah explained, feeling her heart pick up pace, almost matching his. 

"I'll consider it" Sarah responded, getting on the tips of her toes to press the softest kiss on Isaiah's lips, to seal their agreement. "I've been thinking about you, too" she added, admitting it outloud for the first time. 

"You have? Wow, alright, I didn't know that" 

"Now you do. And the more I thought about you, the more convinced I was I should've taken you up on your offer, back at Finn's house" she continued, going back to her normal height, no longer wishing to reach his lips.

"Not a problem, I'll make it up to you now" Isaiah stated, bending over to once again kiss her, this time less urgently than when he'd first done it earlier. Where the first kiss was desperate, trying to convey everything in a simple action, this one was soft, calm: the words had been said, the proposition had been taken into consideration. It was a matter of just enjoying the sweetness of those beloved lips, the hint of berries and of rose. However pleasant it was, and it was very pleasant indeed, Sarah had to back off, painfully pushing Isaiah away ever so slightly, just so that she could clarify her statement. 

"That's uh... not the offer I was talking about" she muttered, looking up at the preacher's son and wondering how it was possible to ever want someone as badly as she wanted him. It did cross her mind that maybe the feeling wasn't reciprocal, but he did kiss her; that had to count for something, right?

"You mean... no, I don't think you do" Isaiah chuckled, looking down at the ground and then back at her face, to see if she was laughing too, at how absurd his assumption was. "You're messing with me"

"Not really, no. Unless, of course, you don't want to. Or maybe you've never done it in the woods, or outside. Oh, or maybe, despite what everyone says, you've never done it at all" Sarah said, her face completely serious, although she really did want to laugh at his shocked expression. 

"That's... well, some of that is true: I have done... it, before, but never outside, let alone in the woods" Isaiah admitted, not even sure he should ask whether Sarah herself had any experience in any of those situations.

"Oof, you're fancy, huh?" she replied, now blatantly laughing in his face. "But of course, your dad is probably fine with you sleeping around, and doesn't mind it if it's in his house"

"I don't sleep ar... not anymore. Not for a bit, actually" he had to defend himself, it was needed to defend his honour.

"That's great" she smirked, looking around, like she was looking for something, or for someone. Not finding anything, she turned back to Isaiah and looked straight into his eyes, her head slightly tilted to the side, one eyebrow raised, and an interesting look on her face. "It might change your opinion of me if I tell you I have done it outside; in fact, I've never even had sex indoors. Also, I'm not the blushed innocent virgin my parents think I am. Does that change anything?"

"No, why would it?" Isaiah replied, furrowing his brow. 

"Because men like marrying virgins, or something like that" Sarah shrugged, straightening Isaiah's collar, as if they were simply conversing about the weather. "Or so I'm told"

"Whoever gives a single fuck about that doesn't deserve laying eyes on any woman, let alone you. Since when would I think any less of you for something I've done myself?" Isaiah truly was confused, completely ignorant of what it was like to be an open-minded woman of that day and age. 

"Men do that" she informed, having been through the ordeal of trying to change the mind of several individuals she came across, of all genders. "And some women"

"I can guarantee you I don't give a toss about that"

"Great. So?" she asked, her hands on her waist, eyes going from mildly angry to simply curious. 

"So what?"

"Fucking hell, you silly man, I am asking you to have sex with me!" Sarah exploded, her voice echoing through the mass of trees. "You know what, I don't think I want to anymore, I can't risk being infected by your lack of sense, by your lack of intelligence..."

Again, her speech about all of her suitor's flaws were cut short by yet another kiss. It would get old, if it wasn't so absolutely and completely tantalising. Whatever he was, Isaiah was also an excellent kisser; whether that was because he was that way in general, or because he was kissing her, Sarah wasn't sure. Taking that cue, she decided to do exactly what she had been thinking of doing: messing the collar she'd just fixed, and untying the row of buttons that would hopefully give her access to the source of the scent she so truly adored. And then came the raw strength capable of pulling her up and off the ground. 


	7. Judges

"You sure about this?" Isaiah asked, apparently thinking that being allowed to lift Sarah up and kiss her so hard he saw stars wasn't obvious enough. 

"Yes" she replied, on the brink os despair. 

"And you want to do this here" 

"Do you have a better idea? 'Cause I don't think there's anywhere in the world safer and more secluded than the middle of a forest" Sarah informed, surprisingly comfortable with her entire weight being held by the member of a violent gang, her legs around his torso but barely contributing. 

From there on out, none of them said much, really: the appropriate clothing items weren't discarded, but rather pushed aside, up, or down, while hungry lips found their way to new grounds of skin. It was all a bit like a dream, Isaiah thought to himself, as he heard the sharp gasp his beloved let out once he managed to push her shirt aside and get to her collarbone. Even more than that, she pulled him into her, daring him to go wherever he wanted to go, promising more of those delicious sounds if Isaiah was a good boy and did as he was told. 

Soon after, and following the several minutes they'd spent simply standing in the middle of the space, Isaiah decided that maybe it would be better to sit down on the ground, not even caring about the effects on his clothes, his back supported by a tree, and Sarah, blessed Sarah, with her knees to each of his sides, straddling his willing lap, teasing mercilessly. By then, she'd managed to get his shirt open, but had to pull up his undershirt to get to what she wanted, which was just any bit of skin she hadn't seen or touched before. Now, taking advantage of this new position, the pastor's daughter managed to get Isaiah shirtless, breathless, and unwilling to ever move, absolutely satisfied with how warm she felt against him, how beautiful she looked with the men's shirt she wore open, revealing a simple brassiere, which he pushed aside, chasing her high, always listening out for a moan, or a sharp intake of breath. 

And it wasn't long before Sarah did just that, responding to a particularly well-placed set of kisses, her body pressing down, generating the necessary friction to snap Isaiah out of his altruistic efforts. 

"Shit" he let out, suddenly sending a wave of warm air into her. 

"Sorry" she replied, restraining her own movements, trying not to lose control like that again, afraid she'd hurt him, or did anything he shouldn't. 

"No, no, it's fine, I'm just... trying not to disappoint you, that's all, love" was the honest reply; there really wasn't any need to lie, was there? She knew exactly what would happen if she did it repeatedly. 

"You won't" she responded, grabbing his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips. It was true, even if he was done there and then, she'd be happy with the kissing. Maybe not satisfied, but that could be taken care of in other ways that didn't involve that particular part of a gentleman's anatomy. To prove her point, Sarah decided she was done waiting; it was true that the kisses were nice, it was true he seemed to have an effect on every bit of her skin he touched with those lips as soft as velvet; but hell, she was soaking wet and it wasn't exactly comfortable to tick that box without making good use of it. 

The pursuit of that goal was easy enough: still allowing Isaiah to devour her mouth, she lifted her hips a bit, making way for her hands to undo an annoying belt and even more annoying buttons, all the while trying to keep the contact and friction to a minimum, now that she knew Isaiah would apreciate that. And finally, after a lot of work from both parties, the stupid pants slid down just enough, along with the damn underpants. As for her skirt and underwear, it was much easier to get out of the way.

It was indeed been established that this was not either of their first rodeos; but this was somehow different. Different in the way it was easy, effortless, for them to become intertwined, no pain, no nothing. The friction was still there, but now it was entirely welcome to both sides. Sarah felt as if she might explode, trying her hardest not to move as fast as she wanted; Isaiah couldn't even breathe, he had forgotten how to do that, his only source of conciousness located in those chocolate-brown eyes, in that girl who saved his best friend's life, and in the way she moved, smoothly, cautiously, sliding up and down, her torso still flush against his own. 

"Am I hurting you?" he asked, misinterpreting her slow motions. 

"Not at all, I just don't want to go too fast, I tend to do that and..."

"You need to go as fast as you need to go" Isaiah urged, finally understanding: some idiot had told her to slow down or he'd come all over in two seconds. Well, he'd be damned if he wasn't going to let the girl he loved fuck him however she saw fit, and he'd be twice damned if he didn't take it like a man, only letting himself go once she was fully and completely satisfied. 

"Yeah?" Sarah asked, seeing the twinkle in Isaiah's eyes, a sparkle she probably mimicked. She'd never been told to do whatever she wanted, and now, especially in the present situation, with a man so handsome she knew none would ever compare.... 

Taking the cue in stride, and taking advantage of the helping hands supporting her backside, helping her move, she moved, picking up speed, all the while kissing Isaiah, who by then was past cloud nine and at the gates of heaven. 

"Oh my god" she whispered, shivering each time the sensitive little spot between her thighs rubbed against his lower stomach. "You feel so damn good"

"Shit, so do you" Isaiah replied breathlessly, every single nerve ending on his body corresponding to Sarah's, the look of pure bliss on her face was so beautiful; he was pretty sure he never saw anything vaguely as gorgeous as his beloved, doing as she pleased, using him as she pleased. And it was true that she felt amazing, it was absolutely true that being inside that woman was supernatural perfection. 

"I think I... fuck, Isaiah, don't move" Sarah pleaded, her forehead touching Isaiah's, the tiniest hint of tears hanging from her eyelashes, her brow furrowed as she tried to focus on what she was doing, thighs and the rest of her upper legs aching and burning from the effort, but being dismissed in the face of the overwhelming pleasure she felt. 

Not allowing for another word, but permitting Isaiah's mouth on hers, Sarah felt as if he had left her body, at the same time as she became infinitely more grounded, more aware of everything her body was going through. Spasm after spasm ran through her, flowing through to Isaiah, who held onto Sarah as strongly as he could without hurting her, trying to control himself, trying to remain sane, to keep on kissing her while she recovered. 

"You alright?" Isaiah asked, when Sarah could breathe a little easier. 

"Yeah, yeah. That... was incredible" she stated with a chuckle. Her body was starting to relax, every muscle and bone warm and comfortable. But she couldn't let herself rest: Isaiah was still not done as far as she knew, and she wanted to make him come just like she had. "What should I do? Tell me, and I'll do it"

"Just... I don't even know, come here" Isaiah responded, pulling her to him even further, kissing her with the same passion as before, his hands on her hips guiding her back and forth, instead of up and down. He didn't want to miss one single milimetre of the haven she provided. 

"Like this?" Sarah asked, wanting to make absolute sure that she returned the favour. 

"Like that, yeah. Fuck" Isaiah let out, his mouth falling from her lips to her neck, hot, heavy breaths hitting her sensitive skin. It was now painfully obvious that he wasn't going to last another minute, and the predicition came true, his own hips shooting up into Sarah, making her gasp, her fingernails digging into his naked shoulder blades. 

* * *

"I didn't bring my coat, sorry" Isaiah realised now that it had been stupid, but he wanted to have full range of motion, and easy access to the guns. However, as both their bodies cooled down, the night became freezing cold, and he was petrified in fear of being the reason Sarah got a cold. 

"That's alright" she replied, sighing absentmindedly. She couldn't care less if the air was cold, all she cared about was how nice it felt to sit on the ground, her whole body surrounded by Isaiah's, her back to his chest, and her head on the crook of his neck. "Maybe you should go home, you'll be warm there"

"Absolutely not, no way I'm leaving you"

"You won't be leaving me, tomorrow is Sunday and we'll see each other at service..."

"No, I don't think you understand. I refuse to let you go" he asserted, more serious than ever. "For all we know, you could be carrying my child right now, our child..."

"What?"

"Sarah..."

"Isaiah...? I'm not pregnant, I'm not getting pregnant unless I decide I want to" Sarah informed, her posture stiffening a little. "Do I need to remind you I worked for a doctor, who was progressive enough to know ways to prevent an unwanted pregnancy?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I don't want to be without you" Isaiah clarified, holding on tighter. "I really don't..."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I get defensive, and I know you mean no harm. I'm just... used to... being used, I guess. To being underestimated" was the reply, eyes turning back to look him right in the eye. 

"Damn it, I love you. I am truly, and madly in love with you. I can never hope to deserve you, can I? Shit" Isaiah laughed, kissing every bit of her he could reach. "Don't ever apologise for calling me out on my bullshit. What's more, you need to do that more often"

"Call me out on mine, then" Sarah requested, allowing herself a smile. "What's my bullshit?"

"Saying we'll see each other tomorrow, instead of doing the right thing and come with me to Birmingham" 

"Like running away with you? What about my siblings, huh? Can't forget about them" she said, her heart heavy. She loved her brothers and sisters, but damn... for a moment she wished they didn't exist, so that she could indeed go back with Isaiah, to wherever he wanted to take her. 

"Fuck, I know. Alright, but... but please, think about what I asked you. Consider it, even" Isaiah pleaded, taking her hands into his own, admiring the size difference. 

"I promise" Sarah responded, allowing her body to relax just a tiny bit more, before they had to part ways. 


	8. Ruth

Finn thought he would be frozen to death when Isaiah finally returned. Although he'd receive very clear instructions to go back home, he hadn't been able to do that, opting for staying where he was, until Isaiah came back. It was cold, it was uncomfortable, but at least he could hear if there was any disturbance. However, nothing of the sort seemed to happen, only some steps in the distance. But now, about two hours later, Isaiah Jesus, the man himself, was not only back, but seemingly very satisfied about something he was sadly unwilling to share. 

"She said yes, didn't she? But, if she did, why didn't she come back with you?" Finn was asking as they sat on the car, Isaiah behind the wheel as always. 

"She said she'd consider it. That's all" Isaiah informed, his hands grabbing on to the wheel a bit tighter than necessary. 

"Did you kiss?" was the next logical question, the one Isaiah didn't know if he wanted to answer. Finn was his best friend and brother, but some things were better left to oneself. Sarah would probably have told Finn herself, but she wasn't there, was she? 

"None of your fucking business" 

"It is my business, I almost froze waiting for you" Finn protested, turning on his seat as they re-entered Birmingham city, and headed to his apartment. "Come on, you were gone for two hours"

"I told you to go home, didn't I?"

"You knew damn well I wouldn't go home and leave you behind. Now the least you could do is tell me if you kissed her" 

"Yes. Alright? I kissed her" Isaiah admitted, causing Finn to squeal with joy, like he did when he was five. "Satisfied?"

"You know I am. And?" Finn insisted, when the car was already parked on its usual spot. 

"And what?"

"Did you shag her?"

"The fuck kind of question is that? Why on earth would I answer that?" Isaiah protested, turning on his seat as well, facing the youngest Shelby with fire in his eyes. 

"Shit, you did? Fucking hell, take us to Tommy's, I want a bottle of champagne!" Finn celebrated as if he had just won the national footbal league. "Wow, how was it?" 

"None of your business" Isaiah stated, this time with a slight grin on his face. He didn't know it, but the expression of sheer happiness on his face denounced every single detail, and Finn knew him so well he could tell the answers just by observing his friend. 

"Come on, mate. I promise I'll shut up afterwards" Finn pressed, holding his breath out of pure excitement. 

"Unbelievable. I don't know what else to say. I didn't know something could feel so amazing" Isaiah ended up confessing, thinking back on the pure bliss that was being inside Sarah Williams, of kissing her while she did with him whatever she wanted. "Happy now?"

"You bet. But why didn't she come with you?" 

"Her siblings, she didn't want to leave them alone" Isaiah explained, his heart filling up with admiration for his beloved. She was willing to forego the comfort of a new, safe home, to ensure the younger ones in her family didn't have to deal with the consequences; if that wasn't admirable, then what was?

"Shit, yeah, I forgot. But then... what are you going to do? What are we going to do to get rid of her parents? And what will happen to the kids?" Finn asked, his brain going a million miles per hour, trying to come up with a solution. 

"I was thinking maybe the kids could go to the Grace Foundation. As for the mom and dad... I'm thinking we should just get rid of them" Isaiah said, his eyes darekning several shades. It wasn't easy to say it, but it would be easy enough to just kill those two, whom no one would miss, and free their children, giving them a chance at a good life. 

"You can't... just... kill them? Are you sure?" 

"No, of course I'm not. But I can't wait any longer; they can't wait for those bastards to start stealing from people. I know it's selfish of me, because I want Sarah by my side as soon as possible. But I don't care anymore" Isaiah said it all on a whim, releasing himself from the prison of morality. Finn knew not to judge, and he even agreed; but it was easier said than done, killing two people. In fact, there was a very small universe of things as complicated as murder. 

"I agree. Maybe Tommy has a better idea?" Finn suggested, having seen what Tommy Shelby's cunning could do for and to others. 

"He said he wants nothing to do with this" Isaiah remembered, letting out a defeated sigh. "I don't know, mate. I simply don't know"

But that was no longer true when Isaiah woke up the next morning, exhausted, but with the happy prospect of seeing Sarah, and of having a plan to save her from the awful situation she was in. It wouldn't be murder, it wouldn't be illegal per se... but it was a way. It was an actual way. So when he entered the new church, with Finn by his side, and went to get a Bible from Sarah, he took her hand and placed a chaste kiss on her knuckles, hoping she'd understand what he was trying to tell her. 

* * *

"Dad, I need to talk to you" Isaiah asked, the minute Jeremiah entered their house. It was a bit before lunch, and Sunday was now all their to do as they wished, and the youngest of the Jesus men had a very clear goal in mind: to tell his father about Sarah, and to let him know of what he planned to do, regarding her, her parents, and her siblings. 

"What is it, boy? What did you get into now?" the preacher asked, taking off his hat and coat, before going to the kitchen and getting himself a glass of water. 

"Nothing, it's nothing bad, I promise" Isaiah said, Peaky cap in his hands, nervous beyond measure. 

"Who did you get pregnant?"

"No one, dad, it's not like that..."

"Say it then" Jeremiah urged, sitting down in the living room, too tired to deal with another drama, or with another arrest, or something like that. He'd had enough of his kid's idiocy and wrecklessness. Running with the Peakies was one thing; another was bringing a different girl home every night. 

"I met someone. And I've asked her to marry me. She's considering it" Isaiah explained, sitting down in front of his dad, trying to guess what was on his mind.

"And who's the girl?"

"Her name's Sarah, Sarah Williams, she's..."

"The girl from that new family, who run that cult" Jeremiah concluded, his heart breaking into a million pieces. How could Isaiah think he was in love with someone whose beliefs were so different than his own? What was more, she probably had second intentions, and was trying to lure his son under false pretenses. 

"Yes" Isaiah confirmed, confirming his worse fears: that his dad wouldn't aprove on account of Sarah's parents. 

"Why?" 

"I'm in love with her. Have been since she helped me with Finn" was the response, and it did indeed contain new information: Jeremiah didn't know it had been the cult's daughter to rid Finn Shelby from his crippling addiction. Maybe she wasn't so bad, if she was willing to help his best friend's tormented brother. "You know she asked me to help her get rid of her parents, so you know she isn't like them. And dad, I really do love her. So much"

"Isaiah, those people won't be easy to get rid of, you know that"

"I've a plan to send them to jail, to make them rot there. Sarah will hopefully accept my marriage proposal, and be with me, and her siblings will go to Grace's foundation, to receive an education and be safe! Isaiah explained, feeling more certain about this than anything before in his life. It had to work, it would work everything would go perfectly well. 

"Does Finn like her?" 

"He adores her, he's the one who forced me to go and propose to her last night. He fully approves, and I hoped you would too" 

Jeremiah didn't say another word: he simply got up and climbed up the stairs of their small house, leaving his son behind, baffled and not knowing what was going on. Did his dad just walk out on him, just like that? Was his blessing something he could never hope to have? But then the preacher came back down, holding something in his hands, something clearly precious, by the reverence in his posture. 

"Are you sure she's the one you want? No more sleeping around, no more flirting with every girl you meet; just her" Jeremiah asked, sitting down next to his son and looking him straight in the eye. 

"Absolutely" Isaiah replied without hesitation, nodding to emphasize his point. He hadn't done as much as look at another female ever since the week him and Sarah spent with Finn: at first, he didn't realise it, but once Finn pointed it out, he'd understood he's lost the need to pursue and shag every girl in the city. He just wanted Sarah, Sarah and her kindness, her resilience, her intelligence, and her ability to call out his bullshit. 

"You're absolutely sure?" Jeremiah pressed, unable to make Isaiah waiver. It was obvious, by the looks of things, that Sarah Williams would be receiving a new last name before long, and would be honoured, treasured and loved, each and every day she lived. Isaiah had always been determined, but now... now it was even more evident, and Jeremiah knew, deep in his soul, rooted in his faith, that his son and the woman he loved were destined to be together. "This is the ring I got your mother when I asked her to marry me. I loved her, and she loved me, despite me being black, and her parents disowning her when they found out. Not a day goes by when I don't think of her and miss her; I hope you and Sarah Williams have a longer marriage than me and Lucy had, and I can only wish you the same happiness we shared"

The ring was beautiful, and the simple fact that it belonged to his mother, that it'd been on her finger, brought tears to his eyes, and propelled him to hug his dad, holding him as close as possible.

"Thank you, a thousand times. It means the world" Isaiah said, trying to hold back the tears burning his eyes.

"And I'll perform the cerimony" Jeremiah insisted, making his son laugh.

This is what I thought for the ring


	9. Samuel

Up until this point of this story, everything was great, and the plan Isaiah had devised was a good one. Even now, all these years later, no one could doubt the merits of his methods, though there was fault to be found in the execution.

“I’m not giving you opium. Not until you tell me why you want it” Tommy Shelby argued. He knew very well what happened to people who found themselves in the possession of narcotics, his baby brother a prime example. If it wasn’t addiction, it was the vice of easy profit, and if it wasn’t that, the invariable incarceration.

“It’s not for us, and you’d get it back” Isaiah insisted, his whole future riding on that cocaine.

“The answer is still the same ” Tommy replied, sitting down and lighting a cigarette. Isaiah took a deep breath, wishing from the bottom of his heart Arthur and Michael Gray would just fuck off out of there. But no, they were haunting Tommy like evil spirits, and would not budge.

“I need to plant cocaine at the new church” the preacher’s son ended up saying, to everyone’s complete surprise.

"Excuse me?" Michael Gray interrupted, looking outside the window and seeing Finn Shelby arriving in his borrowed car. However strange it already was that the kid wasn't there, begging with his friend, it was even stranger to see Tommy had given him a car, or at least let him drive one on his own. 

"You heard me" Isaiah repeated, making sure to face the accountant. 

"Hey, hey, don't start" Arthur intervened. Tommy seemed to be considering the idea, his eyebrow raised in contemplation. 

"What is this about?" Tommy ended up asking, turning to the preacher's son and getting up to his full height. "Why is this so important, eh? What's happened to you?"

"Tommy..." Isaiah started, while Finn entered the study and looked around. 

"What? Isaiah, are you... are you in love with that girl?" Arthur asked, choking on his whisky. Tommy himself had meant to ask it, but hadn't been quick enough. 

"Yes, and I have asked her to marry me" Jeremiah's son informed, clenching his fists at his sides. "My father approves and she is considering my offer" 

"Isaiah, you need to come with me" Finn's voice rose from the back of the room. He was clearly scared, the words coming out of his mouth with difficulty. 

"Why?" Isaiah asked, advancing to his best friend, and smelling the scent of smoke on his clothes. "Why... what's..."

"There's a fire" the youngest Shelby simply said, turning around and leading Isaiah to the car, and driving to the church, just in time to see it collapsing, the flames engulfing it completely. 


	10. Kings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of death and injury.  
> This chapter is quite violent and a bit graphic, several people died in a fire, and it's really not for those who are sensitive, alright? Please proceed with caution.

The Williams' had fled before anyone saw them. Behind, they left the children, their children, who had been left at the mercy of the flames, the same ones their mother and father set to punish them for the ultimate betrayal: not following strict orders, and disobeying. The younger ones were guilty of the first crime, whereas the eldest of the second. For that, they had to die, and had to die in the most horrible of ways. 

Finn drove like a madman, with madness in person by his side: Isaiah alternated between sitting still, in complete silence, to trembling uncontrolably. It was hell to get to the outskirts of Birmingham, as it was hell to see the house caving down on itself, not knowing who laid under the rubble. 

As soon as the car was parked, Isaiah ran to the debris, bypassing all the curious people and the firemen, his heart beating out of his chest, his breathing almost stopping, only to restart suddenly. The ashes and embers were everywhere, they made the air so heavy it polluted the lungs of those who inhaled the air. 

"Here! We found someone!" a firemen shouted to his colleagues, who rushed to the spot where he kneeled. Isaiah lifted his head, only to see Finn doing the same thing he was doing, which was digging and looking for a sign, anything, that could indicate Sarah was still alive. The two of them looked in the direction of the uproar, only to see a small body being recovered; a child, clearly dead. 

"Oh no" Finn whispered, covering his mouth with his hands. It wasn't Sarah, obviously, but certainly one of her siblings, who was no longer amongst the living. Their search became more frantic at the sight of the corpse.

"Sarah! Sarah!" Isaiah started calling, gathering ash and dust in his hands and throwing it behind him, blocking out everything around him except for his mission. Finn was less able to concentrate on the task at hand, and observed as, one by one, seven corpses were retrieved from the ruble, in varying degrees of conservation. There was no young woman amongst the deceased, which wasn't all that comforting. 

"Isaiah, I don't think she... I don't think she was here when this happened" Finn confessed, as they looked around. "The others weren't... weren't completely... completely burnt" 

"What if they took her with them? What if they did something else to her?" the preacher's son was on the brink of tears, and it wasn't made any better by Finn's assumptions. The ring Isaiah's dad had given him was in his pocket, ready for Sarah's finger the moment she accepted his proposal. But now, given the terrifying evidence recovered from the new church, it didn't look too good for their wedded bliss, or for any other kind of happiness.

The worst part was the silence, the eerie silence that filled the whole area. The firemen were covering the bodies with sheets of white fabric, given that there was no one else to be found under the burnt wood. There was no sign of the pews, of the crosses, of anything that used to be the new church. 

Suddenly, a loud scream cut through the heavy aura of the place: a woman, screaming in such agony it instilled grief in the hearts of those present. Needless to say, it was Sarah Williams, in the road that led to her former home. Isaiah's heart beat a little calmer, but it was still frantic, as he ran to his beloved, and wrapped his arms around her figure, just as she collapsed onto the ground. 

"I'm so sorry, love, so sorry" he whispered, time and time again, as he felt her body convulsing against his figure, her knees hitting the ground, dragging her suitor with her. 

"My babies, my babies..." Sarah kept whispering inbetween horrifying sobs. She had seen the seven figures covered in white, and her soul knew, she knew it deep inside her that she no longer had her brothers and sisters, that she was without a family, without the only ones who kept her going when nothing else did. 

"Let's go, let's get out of here" Isaiah tried to get up, taking her with him; but instead, the pastor's surviving daughter ran toward the destroyed buiding, and toward the corpses of her siblings.

The firemen were able to grab her and stop her before she got to any of them, but Sarah was posessed by something that couldn't be explained, and managed to break free. Her body only gave in at the sight of her baby sister, the sorrow of seeing the child's lifeless body making her collapse to the ground. 


	11. Chronicles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of grief  
> Also NSFW

Sarah had moved into Jeremiah's home against her will, but she did have to admit that she had nowhere else to go. She also lacked clothes, shoes, everything and anything she didn't have with her before the fire. 

"I was looking for you, Isaiah. That's why I wasn't... I wasn't there" Sarah informed, about a week after the incident, when she once more felt like she could speak. Up until then, she only had the strength to cry, day and night, even refusing to eat, and only accepting some water once in a while. 

"You were incredibly lucky" Jeremiah replied, seriously thanking his God above that Sarah had been spared. At the same time, the taking of seven innocent lives spoke of a terrifying God, of some higher power who wasn't good, nor benevolent. 

"Was I? Was I really?" Sarah asked, tears streaming down her cheeks, her hands covering her face to hide her pain. She didn't want to be a burden, but that was somehow all she was. She'd been in that house for a week, and she'd done nothing but cry, and wallow in sadness. Cooking the meals wasn't enough to pay for the roof over her head, and she had no useful skills. It only made matters worse for her. Being so thankful, but so destroyed, was torture for someone who had never been lazy in her life. 

"Yes. And I was even luckier, we all were" Isaiah stated, taking her hand and caressing her palm with his thumb. To his surprise, she laid her head on his shoulder. "I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but I do promise that you're not alone"

"Thank you. Thank you both, and I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused and am causing" the pastor's daughter confessed, blinking to try and stop herself from crying. 

"Trouble? What trouble? You're no trouble, girl" Jeremiah insisted, waving his hand in dimissal. 

"I feel like I am" Sarah whispered, feeling slightly less dead when she could smell that scent only Isaiah had. 

"You could help me at the church, if you want to. Or with the work I sometimes do with the poor" Jeremiah suggested, getting up and reaching for his coat. "Think about it. I'm going to meet Tommy, and I'll come back later"

"I was looking for you to come tell you my answer" Sarah sighed once Jeremiah had left the house, facing the cold outside. 

"May I know what that would be?" Isaiah asked, more comfortable now with bringing her into his lap, feeling how cold she was, and how she snuggled against his warmth. 

"It would be yes, it's still yes. And I should've said it to you before now; but I couldn't... I still... I miss them so much" Sarah couldn't keep herself from crying any longer, imagining just how happy her siblings would be to know she was getting married, how they'd hold the train of her dress and the veil. Little Grace would probably carry the rings, and Roger would escort her down the aisle, from the height of his twelve years of age. 

"I know, my love, and that's alright. I'm here for you, and my dad too, and I'm ready to bet Finn won't be long with even more clothes for you" Isaiah replied, smiling a bit and making Sarah smile slightly, too. 

"I know, you're all so amazing. And Isaiah, I do love you, and I want to marry you...."

"We have all the time in the world. No need to rush. I love you, and that's not going to change" Isaiah assured, kissing Sarah on the lips ever so slightly. "Whenever you're ready; and if it's never, then it's never"

"Just... I think that all I need is some time. To... to grieve them and to... to come to terms with having lost my family" she said, taking a deep breath. "But I do want to marry you, and I do want to wear a dress, as awful as it sounds after having lost everything"

"No, of course it doesn't. Don't feel guilty, none of this is your fault, and you can feel whatever you need to feel. Just as long as you let me help you when you need me to" Isaiah stated, focusing his entire being in the beautiful shade of brown his beloved's eyes had, magnified with all the tears. "I didn't think I could love you any more, but everytime I look at you, it's like I'm seeing you again for the first time"

"I love you too, so much" Sarah replied, reaching for Isaiah's lips, and kissing him with all the strength she could gather. "So fucking much" she added, straddling his lap, and latching on desperately, ridding herself from her simple cardigan and opening Isaiah's shirt, before he could pull back and look into her eyes, surprised by her intentions. 

"I'm not sure we should do this" he whispered, his hands still cupping her cheeks.

"Please, just for a bit, let me try to forget all of this for a bit" Sarah pleaded, going back to kissing her lover, making quick work of the buttons of his shirt, not stopping until she had her palms on the well-made pectoral muscles of her fiancé. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely" she assured, knowing in her heart that she had to make the most of everything, live life so completely she would regret nothing when her time came. 

Isaiah simply nodded, kissing her on the lips before getting up, her legs still around him, and climbing the stairs, taking her into the bedroom they had been sharing. Not even bothering to close the door, he laid Sarah down, got rid of his own shirt, and hiked her skirt up into her waist, exposing her legs and mid-riff. Her underwear was next, and even before the pastor's daughter could complete a breath, her love had his mouth between her thighs, showing her the only carnal pleasure none of them had ever experienced.

"Shit, you taste good" Isaiah let out, completely convinced he would never be as high on anything as he was on Sarah, on her pleasure. His tongue explored, his lips roamed, and, in doing so, he learned, following the gasps and the moans that threatened to drive him crazy. 

"That feels incredible" Sarah replied, her legs shaking and threatening to close, but Isaiah held on tight. She couldn't get used to how incredible Isaiah's tongue felt on her, to his lips bringing her closer and closer to something she didn't quite understand, a destination she hadn't thought of. "Oh, lord have mercy on my soul..." she sighed, biting her lip, before whatever ability to speak she had left her, her body levitating into another realm, where everything was bright, and her body tingled in the most amazing of ways. 

Only when she managed to come back to herself did Isaiah stop, placing one last kiss on the inside of her thigh before coming up to kiss Sarah's lips, who kissed back with all her might, her frantic hands doing whatever she could to take his pants off of him, as quickly as feasible. 

It ended up taking them both backing away from each other for a moment for everything they wore to be discarded to the floor, allowing them to become one, moving at the same pace, , overwhelming pleaure the only thing busying their mind. 


	12. Ezra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A is for Addie, and F for Finn. You'll need it, trust me

Teaching wasn't something Sarah had thought about, until the oportunity presented itself in the form of Finn Shelby, and of a couple other kids who attended church, and whose parents didn't really have the means to send them to school. It was scary to think of the amount of people who went through life without knowing those essential skills, and having to rely on others to read a letter or write a telegram. Even more shocking was how someone like Finn, from a family who'd come into a fair amount of money, couldn't even write his own name. 

"So, you write it like this..." Sarah said, showing the youngest Shelby how to draw the letter F. 

"I don't understand why it's so damn complicated" he replied, managing the letter with some difficulty. 

"It's not, you just have to practice" she insisted, pushing him to write the rest of his name, and then his surname. "See, there you are, that's lovely"

"You can barely tell what it says" Finn whined, looking at his colleagues and their work, who seemed to be miles ahead of him. 

"I can tell what it says" one of the other students chimed in, looking over Finn's shoulder and evaluating his handwriting. "Finn Shelby"

"Huh" Finn let out, surprised by the revelation. "Thanks"

Sarah went around the small group of people, helping those who needed it, and complimenting them all on how hard they were working. They'd been going at it for almost two hours, practicing their names, and some of the other letters, before moving on to the numbers. Soon, she expected to have them reading some simple sentences, and writing short messages. The best part was to see how happy they looked with each little conquest; seeing so many of them already perfecting their signature allowed Sarah to sleep at night a bit better. 

Then there was the other source of amusement: Adaline Foster, the tiny young woman who had appeared in class one day, pratically begging to be taught. She had the slightest notion of how to do numbers, but was useless at writing, and needed all the help she could get to do as much as aprehend the concept of holding a pencil. But once she got it, she was quick to catch on, and could now write her name, read others, and jot down telephone numbers. Upon further enquiries, it was discovered that Addie (how she preferred to be refered to) worked for a newspaper, printing the pages by hand, which accounted for the ink permanently staining her fingers, and the obvious physical pain she endured at all times. She was bright and clever, the owner of a witty sense of humour, and of impecable manners. What she didn't know was that she was also the sole owner of Finn Shelby's heart, providing free entertainment to those around the two with a functioning set of eyes. 

"I think I'm stupid" Finn muttered under his breath, while him and Sarah walked over to the Jesus' house, where lunch awaited them. "Everyone is so much more advanced, and I'm struggling with everything"

"Maybe it takes you a bit longer to get there, but once you do, you get it all right" Sarah argued, the usual set of books under her arm. "I don't think you're stupid, I actually think you're really smart; just keep pushing"

"Ugh, if you say so..."

"I do. And didn't you hear Addie today? She could read your name" Sarah said, seeing the expected shade of bright red tainting Finn's ears, and then his cheeks, down to his neck. It wasn't very nice of her to tease him like that, but she knew he liked to be given reasons to talk about Addie, to think about her with a plausible excuse. 

"Addie can read names, and I can't even write mine. She's so fucking clever, and I'm stupid" Finn replied, clenching his fists, and suddenly looking way younger than he was. "I'm going to practice harder, and maybe next class I'll be a little better"

"Sure, sounds like a plan" Sarah agreed, as they got to their destination, and were greeted by Isaiah, who seemed to be waiting for them. 

"Hey" he said, grabbing Sarah by the waist and placing a light kiss on her lips. "How did it go today?"

"Like shit" Finn informed, storming off into the house and going to drown his frustration in some water. 

"What's the matter with him? Still not able to write his own name? Or is it his surname this time?" Isaiah asked, not bothering to let go of his fiancé, basking on the gorgeous tone her hair gained in the sunlight. She smell like flowers, and her head on his shoulder felt all kinds of right. 

"He actually did pretty good... and Addie said she could read what he wrote, which... you know how he feels about her, it should've been a big win. But he's still kicking himself for not doing as well as her" Sarah chuckled, sincerely hoping to be able to replicate what she had built with Isaiah, and give it to Finn to share with Addie. But it wasn't that easy, unfortunately. 

"Meaning he still hasn't done anything about it" Isaiah concluded, letting out a defeated sigh. It had been a month since Adaline had joined the class, meaning it had been a month since Finn laid his eyes on her. 

"Absolutely nothing. I'm starting to think we're wrong, and that he doesn't really..."

"Oh, no, he's in love with her, I'm absolutely sure about that. Remember when I went to give you your books during class, and caught him staring at her? He's my best friend, and I can tell you I've never seen him like that" Isaiah assured, wondering if he too looked that ridiculous when he looked at Sarah. He probably did, as awful as it was to admit it. 

"Well, he hasn't said anything of the sort, that's why I asked" Sarah confessed, pouting into Isaiah's shirt. "Besides, I have no idea whether she feels the same way or not. She did compliment him, but that was about it. She's always so focused on what we're doing that she barely looks up from her table"

"Do you know anything about her? Other than her working at a newspaper" Isaiah enquired, sincerely hoping the girl wasn't married already. Finn would certainly not recover from that. 

"Not really, no. I know she lives with an aunt or someone of the sort, by the cut" was the reply, accompanied by a shrug. "I wish he would just... I don't know. Ask her to the Garrison, or something, you know? Just get that ball rolling"

"Me too. But hey, nothing we can do, eh?" Isaiah stated, making Sarah nod in agreement and look up at him, getting on her tip toes to kiss his lips. "I like that dress on you" 

"And I like this shirt on you. And these trousers. Can't say I like them more than what's under them, though" Sarah teased, biting her lip and allowing the preacher's son to pull her closer and slide his hands closer to her backside, after making sure no one was around to spy on what they were doing. 

"Careful girl, I might have to teach you a lesson for teasing" Isaiah whispered next to her ear, causing goosebumps to erupt all over her skin. "Besides, right outside the preacher's house, you've got some nerve"

"Oh well" Sarah chuckled, kissing her fiancé and placing her hands on his neck, pulling him to her. 

"Oi! Come on, food is getting cold" Finn shouted from inside the house, already having heated the lunch Sarah prepared earlier. "Ew, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Watch your mouth!" Sarah exclaimed, turning to Finn and threatening him with a slap. "Don't you have manners, child?"

"I'm not a child!" Finn replied, again acting half his age. 

"He's a baby, isn't he, my love?" Isaiah asked Sarah, making her laugh and nod. "Bet he doesn't talk like that around his beloved Addie"

Of course, that did it: Finn blushed violently, and jumped out the house, tackling Isaiah to the floor, and trying to get a punch to connect with his best friend's face. Not being able to, and pulled back by Sarah, he gave up, and marched back to the house without another word. 

"Mate, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Isaiah followed his best friend, not understanding what was going on. It had been a joke, an innocent joke, which seemingly didn't warrant that kind of reaction. 

"Leave it" Finn responded, sitting down at the table, still fuming. 

"Are you alright? What's going on?" Sarah asked, sitting down across from Finn, and trying to gauge the issue from the expression on his face. "You do like her a lot, don't you? There's nothing wrong with that, you know? It's fine, she's amazing, and I could absolutely see you two being very happy together"

"Didn't she compliment your writing today?" Isaiah asked, observing the little smile that his sentence produced on Finn, even if he did try and hide it. 

"Yes" Finn ended up admitting, biting the inside of his cheeks to prevent himself from grinning. "That's just it though: she started after we did, and she's miles ahead of me. She's so damn smart, and she gets everything so quickly. I'm struggling with shit that I should know by heart"

"You're being too hard on yourself, I've told you that a thousand times. And what makes you think Addie would look down on you just because you're taking a bit longer than her to get things right? You're learning, and working very hard; that says more about you than anything else" Sarah assured, looking straight into Finn's eyes so he knew she wasn't lying. "Besides, I'm ready to bet you haven't even tried to ask her out, so you don't know what her answer will be"

"I want to ask her. But fuck, every time I think I have the guts to, she passes by, or she does something, and I lose my nerve" Finn lamented, thinking back to the memorable occasion when he had taken a step toward Addie, only to realise she was wearing a new skirt, which was enough to make him lose his courage. 

"You could maybe start by just talking to her" Isaiah suggested, sincerely hoping Finn wouldn't delay it to the point of no return. He had almost done it with Sarah, and he didn't really want to think about his life without his fiancé, after having met her. 

"Or write to her" Sarah suggested, knowing very well Finn would be able to do it, unless he did have another crisis of confidence at the last minute. 

* * *

Finn wasn't sure about what he was about to do, at all. As per usual, the class started with everyone writing the date, and then their name. However, he had gotten a better idea, and could only hope to be able to accomplish it, without making a fool of himself. The date was easy enough, but then came the tricky part of drawing letters he wasn't that familiar with, to form a name he hadn't written before, despite it being on his mind every second of every day, at the races, at matches, at the betting shop, everywhere. His heart beat out of his chest as he turned back on his chair, and, in a split second, as fast as humanly possible, he put the piece of paper on Addie's table, turning back without even seeing her reaction to what he'd done. 

Sarah, however, could see the little drama unfolding before her eyes: Finn, a thousand shades of crimsom, throwing something at poor dear Addie, who jumped in her seat. Upon realising the young man had written something in the paper, Adaline took the page and examined it closely, before her expression opened in a smile that made her usually sad and tired expression light up. 

Back to Finn, he felt like passing out, or running out of the room and never come back. Ignoring what was happening behind him, he went back to the task at hand, which was copying something off the blackboard, to practice greetings. Out of nowhere, when he had almost convinced himself to begin breathing again, a gentle tap on his shoulder made him turn, eyes meeting those he had admired from a distance, and his piece of paper being handed back to him. 

_20th of March_

_Adi Foster (?)_

Addie Foster

_Fin Chelbi (?)_

Filled with a new sense of hope, Finn took his pencil, and shook his head ever so slightly, before signing his name as she had hers: with a line underneath.

Finn Shelby

Gathering some more courage, he turned back and gave her back the paper, hearing the silent "oh" she let out, but not brave enough to see it for himself. By then, neither of them could be less inclined to pay attention to what Sarah was saying, completely focused on sending the sheet of paper back and forth between the two of them, resorting to the only words they'd learn so far to try and communicate. 

A: _Sorry. Finn._

F: _Sorry_. _Addie._

A: _I am_ _17\. 18 April._

F: _I am 20. 21 June._

A: _Good?_

F: _You. Good._

That was when Sarah announced their time was up, and Finn was left paralysed on his seat, not wanting to get up and face the reaction to what he'd written. He didn't even know if it made any sense, but it was the only way his limited writing his skills had of conveying the message: that each and every moment Addie was alive, was a miracle beyond comprehension to him; her soul the magnet that kept his heart beating, and the scent of her walking by a pleasure beyond any other. The stains of printing ink on her fingers a painting by the finest masters, the air she breathed more precious than gold. One day he would be able to put it in writing, to tell her in complicated and beautiful terms that he adored her fiercely, and loved her madly. 

But, in the meanwhile, he would write to her what she knew, giving her all of him. 


	13. Nehemiah

The rest of the class was spent in absolute silence: Finn didn't receive the piece of paper back, nor did he receive another tap on the shoulder. He also didn't have the guts to turn to the table behind him, to at least see what Addie's expression looked like. Only when Sarah dismissed the class did he move, getting up from his chair and shoving his belongings into the rucksack he used, more than willing to just run away, without having to face Addie after having exchanged those little notes with her. But, of course, his plan had a major flaw, which was failing to account for the girl's curiosity, which led her tohis table before he could even mentally prepare himself for her presence. 

"What do you mean? With this?" Addie asked, pointing the sad excuse for a declaration of affection Finn had managed to write down. 

"I... hm. I... I meant that... I don't..." Finn stuttered, not even knowing where to focus his eyes: on the freckles upon her nose, on the moss-green eyes, on the honey-brown hair, or on the luscious lips. 

"You didn't mean it?" she asked, looking down at the piece of paper, reading it again, wondering if she had gotten it all wrong. After all, neither one of them knew how to write that much, and two words scribbled on a sheet of paper had a myriad of interpretations.

"No, I did mean it" he quickly corrected her, afraid to lose his nerve, scared to drive her away. "Don't... Don't leave. Please. I'll... I'll..."

"Why would I leave?"

"Be... because I... you... you're... Shit" Finn ended up saying, when he realised he couldn't say anything, the words wouldn't come out. Even a simple invitation to a pub seemed beyond his ability, miles away from his reach. But she didn't move, didn't even show any signs of impatience. 

"Take your time" Addie encouraged, assuming this was simply the way the boy talked all the time. He seemed to need more time than usual to put together a sentence, and that was fine with her, as she had nowhere to go after class. "Maybe you could just tell me in words what you wanted to write"

"I wanted to... to tell you that... that I think you're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and that you always smell nice" Finn ended up saying, clenching his fists hard and looking down at the ground, crimsom-red all over, trying to come to terms with the fact that his mouth seemed to have a life of its own at the moment. Whether it was better than stuttering, he would only know once he managed to look at Addie, to see if she was about to throw up, or if she was happy. "And I would... I would... I would like to walk you home, and take you dancing tonight, and tomorrow, and every day for the rest of my life" 

There was a minute of silence between the two, the longest minute of Finn Shelby's life, as he waited for an answer, knowing fully well he had said too much, that he had been too forward. He'd barely spoken two words to Adaline, and was now professing his love for her, without even looking at her straight. She was within her right to slep him across the face, and that was the reaction Finn was expecting, bracing himself for the impact sooner rather than later. 

"I'd like that" seemed to be the answer, but Finn was certain he had to be mistaken, that he had misheard Addie. Did she... was she saying she agreed, that she wanted to be walked home, and taken dancing, by him? The confusion was what made him look up at her, seeing that she too was blushing, her cheeks bright pink, as well as the tip of her nose. She didn't seem to be offended, she seemed to be as embarrassed as he was. Luckily, no one was around to witness the whole scene. 

"You would?" Finn asked, hellbent on making sure he'd heard her correctly. 

"Yes" Addie confirmed, nodding for emphasis. 

"Oh. Damn. I... hm. Didn't think you'd... great. Great, let's go then" he replied, still in shock, but able to extend his arm to her, so that she could take it, as they walked out of the school and down the street. 

"You thought I wouldn't say that?" Addie asked, leading them in the direction of her home. "Why?"

"I've no idea, I just... I never said anything to you, and out of the blue I send you notes and say all those things that are probably very inapropriate" Finn confessed, basking in the wonderful sensation of having Adaline by his side, her arm intertwined with his, her stained fingers resting on his forearm. She really did smell amazing, and the way she walked made her skirt move wonderfully. 

"I didn't really have the courage to talk to you either" Addie replied, smiling down at the ground, before looking up at Finn, who managed to look back at her, without diverting his gaze immediately. "I wanted to, but I didn't really think you'd be interested in talking to me"

"Wait, why? Why wouldn't I be?" Finn asked, unable to believe a word she said. "Why wouldn't I want to talk to you?"

"You're Tommy Shelby's brother. He's got so much money, and I assumed you did too, and that you had a girlfriend with beautiful dresses and pretty hair" Addie informed, biting on her lower lip, remembering all the times she had wanted to approach Finn, ask him how he was doing with writing, as he was the only one in class who was close to her in age. But the thought of him looking down on her always prevented her from doing it. 

"I absolutely do not" Finn categorically stated, stopping suddenly and turning to Addie,his previous hesitation gone with the sound of those simple, yet complex words. "I don't have a girlfriend, or a ton of money, or... and in what world is there a girl with prettier hair than you? Actually, in what world is there a girl who can even hold a candle to you? No, Addie, I don't give a shit about dresses and all that crap. I give a shit about you, and that's it. That's it, you understand?"

The poor girl was so taken by surprise all she could do was nod, pretty convinced she would pass out. She'd never received a compliment in her life, and now she was receiving every single one all at once. For Addie, she couldn't possibly be worth all that, or even a fraction of what Finn said. 

"I should've said this to you long ago, but I'm saying it now. And I'm sorry if I'm scaring you, and you need to let me know if I cross a line" Finn continued, failing to notice the inner turmoil that his barrage of statements caused in the object of his affection. 

"I'm not that special"

"You are to me" he simply countered, making sure to look her right in the eye. Sarah always said she could tell if he was lying by seeing his irises, And if that was true, it was the best way to show Addie he meant every single bit of what he had told her, and that he wasn't going to waver on his conviction. 

"Thank you. You smell really nice too. And you've kind eyes" Addie said, smiling, blushing yet again. "And you're tall"

"Yeah? That's nice to know" Finn replied, chuckling lightly as they approached the river. "Which one is yours?" he asked, looking around at the small cottages that populated that bank of the river. 

"That one" Addie pointed, showing him a tiny, delapidated house, with a grown out garden out front. "Where should I meet you later? To go dancing"

"Don't worry about it, I'll pick you up. At eight? That alright?"

"Sure. Thank you. For walking me home"

"No problem. I... I'll see you later" Finn said, wishing he could speed up time. 

"Yeah, see you later" Addie replied, before doing the last thing Finn thought she would do: getting on her tiptoes and placing a kiss on his cheek, right on the corner of his mouth.


	14. Esther

Finn had failed to consider he couldn’t really dance. Even worse was trying to find someone who could, to get a crash course before making a damn fool of himself in front of Addie, who was now privy to his feelings about her.

“So it just came out. You just turned to her and said you wanted to take her dancing. Out of nowhere” Isaiah asked, wondering just how beautiful Adaline was. 

“Basically, yea” Finn replied, wanting to dig a hole, crawl into it and die.

“Good news though: she said yes” Isaiah stated, trying very hard not to laugh. It was pretty funny, despite being tragic. 

“What do you think she’ll say once she becomes painfully aware I cannot dance, have never been dancing, and don’t have the first clue where to dance in this fucking town?” Finn muttered, crushed by the quick passing of the time. To make matters worse, Tommy had nothing for him and Isaiah to do, leaving them to agonize over this matter for longer than would be healthy. 

“I don’t know how to tell you this in a nicer way: you’re fucked” the preacher’s son ended up concluding. “Your best bet is to take her somewhere else. Doesn’t seem to me like she particularly cares about dancing; maybe she just wants to spend some time with you”

“Ah well, and I’m very captivating as a person, everyone knows that” Finn sarcastically commented, sighing loudly. “Where’s Sarah? Maybe she’ll teach me how not to embarrass myself too much"

“She’s at the foundation” Isaiah informed, taking a couple sips of his scotch, poured especially to help them with the task at hand. “That bitch Michael Gray is trying to steal her from me”

“He’s what? No, that’s not... he is?” Finn asked, furrowing his brow. This was news to him, but not exactly unexpected: Michael Gray and Isaiah did not get along, despite having been close when the kid joined the Shelbies, on account of their close age. What was more, Michael thought himself to be a godsend for women, and didn't really try to hide his predilection for going after girls engaged to those around him. Isaiah's woman would be icing on the cake, the ultimate win. “I wouldn’t really worry if I was you” 

“Not worried. Pissed off would be more accurate. Unless, of course, Sarah decides she’d rather be with him, which... I wouldn’t be able to do much about that, would I?” 

“Wait, you think she might... for Gray? You can’t be serious” Finn laughed, but stopped once he saw the expression on his best friend’s face.For him, it was obvious Sarah was steadfast on her commitment to Isaiah, and he thought Isaiah knew that. However, it didn't seem to be the case, as outlandish as the thought was.  


“I am, though. Which one sounds better: an accountant, or an errand boy?” Isaiah asked, letting out a humorless chuckle. 

“What errand boy? I’d call you a... hm. Betting official” Finn countered, making them both laugh hard. “Seriously, mate. Sarah has zero interest in that idiot” 

“I’ll drink to that” Isaiah agreed, raising his glass and taking a sip. “And I’ll drink to Mrs Adaline Shelby, and Mrs Sarah Jesus” 

“Oof, me too” Finn said, downing the remainder of his drink all at once. 

“Well well well, there’s a party and no one cared to invite me” a female voice stated, from the door. Before long, Sarah Williams herself entered the living room, thankfully having missed the last part of their conversation.

“Hi” Finn simply said, looking down at the table in the Jesus’ kitchen. He knew he would hate to tell her what had happened with Addie, as mortified as he was, but then again she was the only shot he had at saving himself from tragedy.  


"You alright, love?" Isaiah asked, getting up to kiss his fiancé, and receiving a tight hug in return. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, just tired I guess. That guy, Michael? Total douchebag" Sarah informed, the mention of his name lighting a not-so-pleasant fire inside Isaiah, who truly did not enjoy the subject, or the presence of Polly's surviving son in the same room as his adored Sarah. 

"Tell me about it" Finn agreed, taking a subtle look at Isaiah. All he could see were his friend's eyes, the rest of his face buried in Sarah's hair. It would be comical, but the anger he displayed was no laughing matter. "Did he do anything? Was he innapropriate to you?"  


"Not really, no, but he won't shut up for a second. Oh, and then he asks me when I'm getting married? And how likely I am to change my mind for a better offer? It was insane, I don't think he's right in the head" Sarah replied, pretty sure she would be told Finn's cousin wasn't all there, and that she should discard his proposals. 

"He what now?" Isaiah asked, lifting his head and rising to his full height, looking straight at Sarah, with an intensity she didn't remember seeing from him before. He'd gotten angry at some things in the past, but never like this, never at her. 

"He... I'm sorry, I really am, I didn't take him seriously, I just thought he had some condition..." she replied, stuttering, her hands trembling and her body shaking. Sarah knew too well what happened when a man got angry at her, and although Isaiah had never done it, it would surely start there and then, even in front of Finn; all there was left to do was brace for impact, clench her fists to stay silent, and take it like the big girl she was. 

"That's it, he's dead" Isaiah let out, turning away from her and marching to the door, leaving Sarah shocked at the realization she wasn't about to be beat into a pulp, like her father surely would have done. 

"No, no, absolutely not, stop right there!" Finn got up from his chair and raced to Isaiah, pulling him back with such might they both fell on the floor. "Isaiah, no. Don't beat him up, he's an idiot, he doesn't deserve the jail time"

"Yes, he does" Isaiah disagreed, trying to get up and go about his business with Michael Gray, but Finn was quick to grab him again. 

"If you go to jail, you don't get to share a bed with Sarah tonight. Or tomorrow. You know damn well you have priors" Finn advised, wondering what exactly was Sarah doing, staring at the both of them, without doing anything. It seemed to work though; Isaiah stopped struggling and simply sat up, letting out a deep breath. 

"I fucking hate him, though. And next time I see him, I'll make damn sure to tell him not to even look in her direction" Isaiah informed, his heart beating a million miles an hour. "Fucking stuck-up motherfucker, thinking he's king of the fucking world just 'cause he's Polly's son, he should be mauled to death by a fucking horse..." 

His diatribe was cut short by Sarah, who had managed to regain the ability to move again, and who had gotten on her knees, to hug her beloved so tight he lost the ability to breathe. 

"I thought you were going to beat me up, I swear I did" she let out, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Beat you up? Why the fuck would I beat you up? What kind of man does that?" Isaiah asked, in complete confusion. 

"My dad" Sarah said, sitting down on the floor next to the two men.

"My dad" Finn added, having heard the stories of how his father beat up his mother, which ultimately led to her death. 

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't think about that. I just got mad at Gray, that's it, I would never hurt you" Isaiah guaranteed Sarah, pulling her up into his lap, breathing in her scent. 

"Are we done talking about Michael? Can I speak now, without having to run after you?" Finn asked, making Isaiah and Sarah laugh. 

"Sure, go ahead"

"I asked Addie out. And I told her how I feel about her. And walked her home. And am taking her dancing tonight" Finn informed, jumbling the words in a rush to get them out. 

"You did? Oh Finn, that's amazing!" Sarah beamed, looking at Finn with a huge smile. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know. I really have no idea, and that's what we were talking about. Do you dance? Do you know where to go dancing?" the youngest Shelby asked, crossing his legs and supporting his weight on his extended arms. 

"So, you invited her to dance, but you don't have the first clue about it" Sarah replied, furrowing her brow. "Why did you ask her to go dancing if you don't have the first clue about how to do it..."

"I wasn't thinking" Finn confessed, letting out a deep sigh. "Can you help me?"

"You might be better off taking her somewhere else, to do something else, 'cause I really don't know how to help you" Sarah admitted, taking Isaiah's hands and bringing his arms around her. "Do you, lover?" she asked her fiancé, who shook his head. 

"Wish I did" Isaiah lamented. "I'm with Sarah, mate: you better find something else to do. I don't think Addie would care"

"She definetly wouldn't" Sarah agreed, trying to think as hard as she could about a solution. But suddenly, Finn lit up, getting up suddenly, and reaching for his cap and coat. 

"I need to find Tommy. See you later" he shouted, before storming out the door. 


	15. Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

The clock striked eight when Finn knocked on Addie's door. He felt his whole body tense up, his hand clasping the bouquet of flowers he'd brought for her. Would he like his idea, would she be disappointed in him, would she even want to accompany him once he told her they weren't exactly going to a club? However, before Finn could spiral down that particular rabbit hole, the door opened, and Adaline herself stepped out of the tiny cottage, wearing a navy blue dress with microscopic gold sequins. Her hair was up, and he could see every bit of her elegant neck, the paleness of her skin shining with the moonlight. 

"Hi" Addie timidly said, hoping she hadn't overdressed, and certainly hoping Finn's hesitation to say anything wasn't because he'd changed his mind. 

"Hi, hey, hello" Finn stuttered, barely able to get a word out straight. "You look amazing" he ended up saying, making Addie blush in several adorable shades of pink. 

"Thank you, you do too" she replied, biting the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from giggling like a schoolgirl. 

"These are for you" he stated, extending the flowers to Addie, whose features oppened into a glowing smile. 

"They're gorgeous, thank you! I'd never gotten flowers before. You're a true gentleman" she stated, grabbing Finn's arm as they started walking. The night wasn't too cold, but it definetly wasn't warm either. Hopefully their destination wasn't too unpleasant, and everything would go smoothly. 

"Well, I like to think so" Finn chuckled, eliciting a laugh from Addie. "I do need to tell you that I am taking you dancing, but not to a club, or anything like that. That alright with you?

"Absolutely fine, wherever you wanna take me is fine" Adaline assured, happily trotting along with Finn, whose legs were way longer than hers. "I like dancing, but sometimes clubs are too noisy"

"Yeah, definetly. My family owns one in London, and I've been there. It used to be fun, but it was so loud" Finn confessed, trying to shake those thoughts from his head. Eventually he'd have to tell Addie about his past and about what he'd done, about the cocaine, about the prostitutes, but tonight wasn't the best time to do that. He didn't want to scare her away, and a story like his was sure to do that, sooner or later. Despite his family having money, Finn was well aware he was not the husband material a girl like Addie deserved. 

"I can see that being the case" Addie agreed, nodding her head. "You go out a lot?"

"Me? I don't. Not anymore, I guess. I used to. In the past" he replied, seriously wondering whether Addie could read his mind. "To be honest, I used to do a lot of things I don't do anymore"

"That's fair, I reckon everyone does stuff and then grows out of it" Addie wisely said. "I used to walk around at night a lot. I can't sleep most nights, and I used to walk around the cut when I couldn't sleep. And one night, the water froze and I decided to walk on it, and the ice broke. Thought I was gonna proper die"

"Are you serious?" Finn asked, the shock evident in his voice. "That sounds so fucking scary, holy shit..."

"It was terrifying! Since then, I still can't sleep, but now I stay home" Addie concluded, shrugging as if it had happened in another life. 

"I uh... I also went through something kinda similar... I lost my brother John, and since then I couldn't even... you know. Function. Without... uh. Snow" Finn confessed, the tears stinging his eyelids. But no, he wasn't going to cry, he wasn't going to embarrass himself, and he had already said too much. 

"I'm so sorry about your brother" Addie said, looking up at Finn. "And I understand. Losing someone close is so difficult, and snow seems to help. That stuff is expensive, though. How did you stop?"

"Sarah, actually. She locked me in my house for a whole week, got me off the stuff" he informed, much to Addie's surprise. "And well, she made my best friend fall head over heels in love with her"

"Oh, yeah, that boy who went to visit her" Addie nodded, remembering how happy their teacher looked when she saw the preacher's son. "He seems nice. Are they happy together?"

"Oh yeah, very much so. No wedding plans yet, but they're very much in love" 

"That's so sweet!" Addie squealed. "I truly don't know anyone who deserves love more than Sarah. She's a godsend"

"Agreed" Finn said, as they approached the Garrison, closed and dark. "Here we are. It's closed, so it's ours for tonight" he added, taking the keys from his pocket and opening the door. 

"Really? All for us?" Addie asked, looking around while Finn turned on the lights. "This is... so amazing. I'd never been here"

"You haven't? It's not much anyways, just a pub. I did bring the gramophone, and some of my brother's records. Maybe you could teach me how to dance" Finn suggested, making sure the table he had set was till in place, and going as far as lighting the candles he had left. 

"Finn. it's beautiful, and so thoughtful" Addie responded, allowing Finn to pull the chair for her.

* * *

"I hope it's going well" Sarah said, eating her dinner while lost in thought. 

"Me too. You ok? Did I say anything I shouldn't have?" Isaiah asked, seeing his fiancé looking at the wall with a focused expression. Was she just worried about Finn and Addie, or was there something else? And if there was, who was the culprit?

"No, not at all, lover. I was just... hm. Thinking" 

"May I ask what about?"

"Actually, yes you can. I'm thinking about Michael Gray" Sarah simply said, causing Isaiah to inhale a sharp breath. 

"And why is that?" Isaiah replied, his blood boiling. "If you're about to leave me for him, don't expect me to..."

"He needs to be taught a lesson. And I need you to be on board with my plan" Sarah mused, biting her lower lip. "He'll never be the same, and we'll both get back at him"

"Elaborate" Isaiah answered, pretty sure any plan to piss off Gray would be met with his aproval, collaboration, and blessing. What he didn't expect was for Sarah to get up from her chair, going to sit on his lap, legs straddling his. 

"My plan is..." Sarah started, her mouth on Isaiah's neck, her warm breath tingly on his skin. He'd be damned if that woman didn't just have to breathe on him to make him rock hard. "You go with me to the foundation, next time he's there. And then, it's simple"

"Is it?" Isaiah asked, pretty sure he'd never set foot into the Grace Shelby foundation, let alone to get revenge on a creature like Michael Gray, who wasn't worth the time of day. "Shit" he huffed, once Sarah bypassed his pants and grabbed his manhood, stroking it slowly, yet firmly. 

"Quite simple, yeah" Sarah stated, enjoying herself a bit too much. "Help me show him you're twice the man he thinks he is" she whispered, picking up speed with her palm. 

"Fuck..." he let out instead of a reply, gathering all his willpower to hold Sarah's wrist, making her stop what she was doing before he came all over, not leaving room to pleasure her, which was inexcusable. "Come... come here" 

Isaiah thought he wouldn't be able to, but he was: picking Sarah up and walking over to the couch, to at least give her some comfort wasn't all that difficult, all things considered. She did look divine, hair all over the place, bright eyes, pink cheeks, legs spread open to accomodate his body... and then there was her scent, flowery, paired with that overwhelming sweetness that came with her arousal.

"I fucking love you so much" Isaiah managed to get out before she pulled him to her, kissing his lips so hard their teeth clashed. "Look at me" he ordered, holding her face with his hand, keeping her eyes on his. "Look at me, eyes wide open. That's it. Look right at me, so you know I'm not lying to you" he added, making quick work of her underwear and plunging into her, which caused a gasp, but her eyes stayed open. 

"I... I... shit... I believe you" Sarah replied, her eyes tearing up with the effort of staying open, of doing what she was told. She liked it, too: when she taught, she was the one giving orders. Now, she was discovering she quite liked receiving them, as long as it was Isaiah saying the words. It was ridiculous how incredible she felt, how warm her whole body felt, and how utterly gorgeous the man she loved looked while balls deep inside her. 

"Fuck, you feel incredible. Damn it" Isaiah muttered, unable to stay away for longer, needing to kiss her, needing to be closer to her. "Damn it, Sarah, god damn it, I love you so much"

"I love you too, I love you too" she replied, desperately repeating the words, desperately having to tell Isaiah how she felt, there and then, as if it was the last time she'd ever get to tell him. "So much... oh god"

They both felt better after the first time around; but it took another go at it for everything to be settled, for them to be able to rest, spent and satisfied. Having eventually moved to their own bedroom, and warm under the covers, it all seemed silly, everything seemed like it was part of a deranged dream, even the wind howling outside. 

"I'd be so much happier if you could just walk around shirtless all the time" Sarah laughed, running the tip of her nail over Isaiah's throat, down to his chest, and then up again, just to see the goosebumps she was able to create. 

"Maybe not all the time... but I could agree to not wearing a shirt inside here, if it would make you happy" Isaiah replied, laughing as well. She was so sweet, even when she said things like that.

"It would make me very happy. What do you want in return?" 

"Let me think about it, I'm pretty sure I'll come up with something" Isaiah replied, kissing her lips, and pulling on the bottom one the slightest bit. "For now, I'll be fine with remembering exactly what it was we did on the downstairs couch. It'll be useful when I'm bored in church"

"Isaiah Jesus, don't you dare!" 


	16. Psalms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXTREMELY NSFW

Finn and Addie took three hours to finish their dinner, which had been brought by him from Shelby manor. It was delicious, but it still failed to be better at topping their conversation, or the way the lamps magnified every little thing about Adaline Finn Shelby adored. She had incredible manners, a gorgeous smile, and the sweetest of voices, all characteristics he'd noticed before, and all paled compared to her empathy, kindness, and honesty. There wasn't much else to say, really: he could feel himself fall more and more in love with the shy, yet confident girl who sat across from him, and it was enough to make him want to spend the rest of his days at the Garrison, with just her, his Addie. 

"Finn? You alright?" he heard her saying, quickly realising he was staring at her, having missed the last few words she said. 

"Hm? Yeah, yeah, sorry, I was just... I guess staring at you, sorry" he admitted, making her chuckle. 

"That's alright, don't worry. I was asking whether you still want me to teach you how to dance" Addie asked, still smiling as if he was nothing but charming, when in truth, he was so taken by her he couldn't even form a coherent thought to save his life. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'd love that" Finn quickly responded, getting up so quickly his chair fell to the ground. "Shit" 

"No need to be that nervous!" Addie laughed as he picked up the chair and got it back in place, before joining her near the gramophone. It had been playing music all along, but they hadn't really paid any attention. Now, however, the music was all there was; the music and Adaline Foster, facing him, taking his hands, placing one on her waist, and taking the other, their two bodies so close he could swear he could hear her heart beating. Finn thought he'd seen it all before, but he certainly hadn't been in a situation as delightful as this one. "Alright, so now you take a step back... there you go. And another. And now to the front... and the other"

It really wasn't that difficult, although Finn couldn't focus very well, and neither could Addie herself. She knew what she was supposed to be doing, she knew the steps, she knew the words, but it wasn't really easy to teach when she could feel the rough skin of his palm, the warmth of his body. What was more, Addie knew very well not to look up, not to look at the very same face she'd admired all night, not to allow her eyes to meet his. 

"Now we turn, like this..." Addie continued, fiercely staring at the floor, trying to ignore what was more than obvious. Her knees were going slightly weak, but she held on, she fought it until the very end. 

"Please look at me" Finn whispered, not wanting to beg or order her around, but needing to see her expression. "If I did anything wrong, if you want to go..."

"No, no. Not at all. I'm sorry" Addie didn't know what to say, but forced herself to look up, to face a different kind of music, one she couldn't buy a record of. "I uh... I guess I was trying not to... not to..."

"Not to what?" Finn asked, his eyes drifting from hers, down to her lips, those lips he would kill to kiss, to taste. 

"Not to..." Addie replied, losing her resolve once Finn's nose touched hers, and his mouth laid upon hers, a simple, gentle, innocent kiss, enough to make both their hearts pick up speed suddenly. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that..." Finn started, but couldn't finish: Addie got on the tips of her toes, and placed another kiss on Finn's lips, this one a bit more eager, a bit less chaste. He somehow tasted like lemons, as if it even mattered, compared to how good his tongue felt, how precious the beating of his heart was. Finn himself was making an effort not to cry, pass out, or do both, still trying to come to terms with his dreams coming true. She seemed to be out for his head, what with how amazing of a kisser she was, and with her slender figure pressing up against his. 

"I uh... maybe I should tell you that I have never... you know... I don't really know how to say it..." Addie stuttered, blushing even more violently, certain she had said too much, and that she should have just stayed silent, and let whatever was meant to happen, happen. "Damn it, I shouldn't have said anything, shit..."

"Addie, Addie, listen to me. It's alright, I wasn't about to... oh God, you thought I brought you here to... just to... to... take advantage of you, or something like that? I didn't. I really didn't, I swear on my mother's soul, on my brother, I would never..." Finn exploded into violent tears, his whole body shaking with sob, forcing him to sit on the ground, arms over his head. "Fuck, that's not at all what I meant, I didn't..."

"What? No!" Addie protested, kneeling next to Finn and embracing him, allowing him to hold on as tightly as he needed to, his tears wetting her dress. "That's not what I was implying, I was just trying to say I want to, but I don't know the first thing about it. I don't think you asked me out just for a shag, it's too much work for that" she said, managing to get a smile out of Finn, his sobs calming down slightly. 

"I asked you out because you're everything I see when I close my eyes. It used to be my brother's dead body, and sometimes it still is. But now, it's you. And at night, when I'm alone in my house, and everything is dark, and I can't sleep because I feel like something horrible is going to happen if I let down my guard, I see you and nothing is that horrible anymore" Finn confessed, each and every word coming from his soul. "And this is a sad excuse for a date, when you've kept me alive ever since I first laid eyes on you"

It was Addie's turn to burst into tears, holding on to Finn just as hard as he held on to her. It was difficult to think of herself as worthy of everything Finn thought of her; to make matters worse, Addie didn't have the words to tell him how she felt about him, how he had become the reason she always went to class, even if her bosses docked her pay, or threatened to fire her; how he had made working a little more bearable, because the thought of one of those newspapers going to him kept her going. 

"I don't know why, but if I could explain it, it wouldn't be real. You're the one for me, Addie, if you'll have me, knowing what I've done, and who I've been" Finn added, sitting up straight and taking Addie's hand into his. Then, he told her everything: the cocaine, his brothers and sister, the prostitutes, the violence, the horror. And she didn't flinch, she didn't look away, she didn't waiver: she stayed where she was, listening, looking over him as he said all the things he had kept silent for so long. 

"So I just... I don't know, you know? Hired a girl, had plenty of money for that from the matches, and... shit, tried to forget the shit I had to do. And it wasn't even good, it felt like nothing after a while. That's when the cocaine kicked in, and I managed to let everything go. Until I stopped functioning altogether" Finn ended, forcing himself not to look away from Addie, whose blessed figure was still there, still with him. 

"It sounds horrible, I'm so sorry" she lamented, kissing his knuckles softly, an act of kindness and fondness Finn had never been the object of before. 

"It's alright, I uhm... am trying to be better. And I think I am better. It takes time, and willpower, but it's worth it" the youngest Shelby replied, managing a bit of a smile. "Shit, you really aren't horrified? Disgusted? Nothing?"

"Because you did cocaine? Because of the prostitutes? You'll have a hard time trying to convince me any of that makes you a bad person" Addie informed, scooting closer to Finn and wiping away his tears. "Besides, you had, and still have, a lot on your shoulders. I understand why you did what you did, and it's alright. Thank you for telling me, and trusting me with it"

"I needed you to know. I'm sorry for talking so much, for unloading all of this on you. It has nothing to do with you, you're an angel, and I'm... shit, I'm fucked up, and yet, you're still here, listening to me" Finn chuckled, although it was no laughing matter how lucky he was for having come across a saint. 

"It does have to do with me, though. I have every intention of staying by your side" Addie responded, hands on his cheeks, making sure he saw she was telling the truth. "And I'll teach you how to dance, and teach you where to go dancing, and even how to spell my name. If you just promise to keep holding on, to keep fighting your demons, I'll fight them with you. Deal?"

"Deal" Finn replied, placing as many kisses as he could on as many spots of her skin he could reach. The slight hesitation that preceded the following kiss on her lips made it even sweeter when it happened, his palms on her cheeks, thumbs caressing her soft, flawless skin. Addie was on her knees, allowing Finn to kiss her as he pleased, pleasing her in the process. 

Her small hands slid from his neck to the buttons on his waistcoat, undoing them, one by one. It was easy, as was sliding it down his shoulders, discarding it to one side. Next, down came his suspenders, and only then did any of them became aware of what was bound to happen, of what her actions would lead to. Just as naturally as Addie had known how to get Finn's layers off, he knew how to pull her to him, still on the ground, her legs around his torso, his arms supporting her back so that she truly could be as close to him as possible, the warmth inbetween her thighs snug against him, the pressure and desperation they both felt making both move ever so slightly, just to cause some friction, to put both of them out of their misery, out of their thirst. 

After all, all that mattered was that pleasure, that obvious, human, basic pleasure of Addie's legs around him, of her warm core against his manhood, that was enough for Finn to know everything would be alright. He'd never felt anything of the sort, not even when he had a girl in his office, and did with her whatever it was he decided to do. Definetly, obviously, and honestly, Finn had never, in his life, been as hard, as aroused, or as happy as he was right then, his tongue in Addie's mouth, his hands on her backside, helping her move her hips, making her moan into their kiss, a sound so lovely he begged his heart to be silent so that he could hear it entirely. A sinful thought passed through his mind, a vision of his mouth somewhere else on her body, something Finn hadn't thought of before, and that he didn't know whether it was allowed or not. 

Finn felt her back off, and, although missing her mouth already, he knew it was necessary, so that they could both breathe a little better, and so that she could say the hottest words he would ever hear in his life, enough to make him twitch and hold on to her tighter:

"I need you closer" Addie, whispered, going to undo his trousers, but needing his help to do so. She was right, she was always right: closer meant less fabric between them, and closer meant feeling his erection more directly on her core, the friction increasing. 

"Addie, Addie... oh god" Finn answered, feeling himself twitch, a telltale sign that he wasn't about to keep going for much longer, now that he could feel the slickness that had formed between the two of them, easing the movements, heightening the warmth. He knew what coming was like, it had happened before, both by himself or with a sex worker. What he wasn't aware of was how insanely good it could feel, how fucking incredible it was to be engulfed by pleasure, his lower half completely numb, except for that spot that was so sensitive it could catch on fire at any given minute. 

Addie too could feel it, could feel each and every involuntary motion of his manhood, as she could feel it throbbing unexplicably. Even with both their underwear between them, it was amazing, she'd never felt anything remotely as pleasurable as what they were doing. His hips moved too, as did hers, chasing something without even thinking about it, something she never knew, something she couldn't imagine. When it happened, it was like being burnt alive, a feeling so divine they both stopped breathing for a second, taken over by what they'd been able to create. 

"Are you alright?" Finn asked, once he regained the power of speech. They hadn't moved, so the only difference was the mess he'd made on his underwear. 

"Yeah. I had never... felt anything like that. Is that what an orgasm feels like? When your whole body feels so good you want to cry?" Addie asked, her big green eyes focusing on Finn's. 

"I suppose it is, yeah" he replied, laying down on the ground, and pulling Addie to lay on top of him, two hands beneath her chin so that she could see his face. "Can't really be sure though, I'd never seen one. Not entirely sure I've felt one like that either"

"I think it was. I feel all sticky now, but not in a bad way"

"Shit, that was me, I'm so sorry..." he sat up suddenly, looking around for his handkerchief, but Addie stopped him.

"No, pretty sure it was me, don't worry, it's fine" Addie chuckled, snuggling into Finn so sweetly he let out a happy sigh. "Maybe next time we could have a bit more self-control, and you could actually be inside me"

"You sure you want that? Because there's no rush, we could do as much of this as you want" Finn assured, looking down at his love, seeing how calm she seemed to be. 

"I was trying to get there earlier, but we got distracted, I guess. Don't worry, I'm not religious, I've no actual attachment to my virginity. I do have an attachment to doing whatever feels as good as what we just did, though; and I'm interested in feeling even better" Addie informed, with a little daring laugh. She was so adorable, even when she was talking about subjects most women wouldn't be caught dead discussing. 

"Good to know, because I'm very interested and pretty much invested in pleasuring you. And kissing you. And taking you out to dinner" Finn responded, kissing her cheeks, and then her nose. "And looking at you. And loving you"

"I like that idea a lot" Addie stated, feeling as though she could repeat that night every single day for the rest of her life, without getting bored of it. 

* * *

"I can't ask my aunt, and I can't ask my sister. My sisters-in-law aren't an option either. So you're my only chance" Finn was sitting in front of Sarah, who was knitting something in dark-grey wool. 

"Sure, why not? I wouldn't want to ask Linda Shelby about sex, either" Sarah shrugged, trying very hard not to laugh and make Finn feel bad. "Lizzie though... there's a girl who knows a thing or two about the subject"

"She... well, yes, but not like this. Not for... Not because she wanted to. And I don't want to ask her about what it's like with Tommy, that's... ugh, I try not to think about it" Finn informed, scrunching his nose at the thought. 

"I understand you, I think" Sarah replied, focusing on her work. It would probably be easier for Finn to ask what he wanted to ask if she wasn't staring at him. "Why not Isaiah, though? He's..."

"He's a man" 

"I'm aware"

"I need a woman... I mean a lady... I mean..." Finn stuttered, painfully aware of how stupid he sounded. He didn't want to sound disrespectful as well. "It's to do with something I thought of, and I need to know whether it's disrespectful, or insulting, or bad, or..."

"Fine, shoot. I'll try to help" the pastor's daughter assured, managing to hide a smile. 

"Ok, so... ahm... me and Addie, we... not like.... all the way. But some way. Some part of the way. The part where you... where she... she gets on my lap and I... we... just like that" Finn explained by rubbing his two hands together. "It felt... oof, it was the best thing I've ever felt in my life. But when we did it... when it was happening... I had this idea in my mind... and I thought it was wrong, but I can't stop imagining it, now"

"And did she like that too?" Sarah asked, imagining Isaiah's face if he was to come back home from the football match to find the two of them talking about sex. He wouldn't be mad, but the look of surprise on his features would be worth a laugh. 

"She said she did, yes. She asked me whether... hm. Whether what she'd felt had been an... you know..."

"Orgasm" 

"That" he nodded, not helping with Sarah's need to laugh histerically. "But that's not the point, I don't think; I wanted to... to... I was kissing her. And then I thought... I thought I could... that I'd like to... that I wanted to... kiss her. But not her lips. Does this make any sort of sense? Am I losing my fucking mind?"

"Losing your mind? No. You're telling me you want to go down on her" Sarah concluded for Finn, a look of triumph on her face. She usually wasn't smug or even vaguely arrogant, but she looked it now. 

"Why are you..."

"Listen here, mate. Nothing wrong with that, alright? But as with anything, ask her before you do it" Sarah advised, thinking it was best to go that route for anyone who wasn't her, to whom Isaiah could do whatever he very well pleased, and she would like it, take it, and thank him profusely afterwards. 

"Ask her. Ask Addie before. Got it" Finn ccommitted it to mind, and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "So it's not disrespectful"

"Not at all, if she consents to it"

"And it doesn't hurt" Finn asked, to make damn sure he didn't do anything to his beloved that was less than welcome. 

"Hurt? Can I be honest with you?" Sarah asked, making Finn nod. "And you won't throw up"

"No, no, I won't"

"Ok, so let me tell you this: Isaiah is the only man who's ever done it to me. And not only doesn't it hurt, but it's probably the most incredible thing I've ever tried, after having him balls deep inside me whenever I do as much as give him a look" Sarah explained, seeing Finn's jaw drop. "You said you weren't gonna puke"

"I'm not. I'm really not" Finn assured, finding out he didn't really enjoy the image of his two best friends fucking. "So I should just ask Addie; it won't hurt her, she'll like it"

"Exactly" Sarah agreed, exactly when the front door opened, and Isaiah walked into the room, taking off his coat and cap, before leaning over to plant a soft kiss on her lips. 

"You alright, my love?" he asked his fiancé, who smiled sweetly, putting down her knitting. 

"Yeah" Sarah replied, finally able to laugh as hard as she wanted, given Finn's disgusted look. 

"What's with you, mate?" Isaiah asked, looking at Finn, not really sure why he looked like he was about to throw up. 

"Nothing, nothing. I'll... uh. Get going" 

And just like that, Finn ran out of the house, his stomach positively turning. It was fine that other people had sex; however, he came to the conclusion that he didn't really appreciate looking at his best friend and automatically imagining him with his head buried in Sarah, who was teaching him how to read. He really could do without that. 


	17. Proverbs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should shut the hell up with NSFW.  
> So I'm gonna.  
> Just assume it from now on, babes!  
> This chapter is legit just smut sorry

The issue hadn’t been to ask Addie out again, especially not after what they’d experienced the last time they’d been together. All the cards were on the table, on both sides, so the fear of seeing her walk away at the slightest hint of his past didn’t scare Finn that much anymore. 

No, it wasn’t that.

It was raising the subject, without making it seem like he was desperate, and wanted their relationship to be solely based on... 

You know.

_ That. _

It was different with Sarah, who had rebelled against her conservative upbringing by being as open about sex as possible, and by having as many partners as possible. She herself had said it, point blank, without even flinching. As for Isaiah, they’d been mates for so long talking to him was like talking to his conscience. Addie, on the other hand, and although as honest as the best of them, was a tricky person to talk to: Finn lived in fear of hurting or disrespecting her. That was on him, of course it was.

“You want some more tea?” Addie asked, snapping him out of his internal monologue of insecurity. It was unfortunately becoming a habit: he would be lost in thought, instead of focusing on her, and it had to stop. It was going to stop right that moment.

“I’m alright, thank you” Finn smiled, focusing his whole attention and thoughts on bringing Addie close to him. It didn’t really matter that they were sitting on the margin of the river, right on the grass and pebbles. What mattered was that she was right there with him, drinking her tea out of a chipped teacup. Her eyes couldnh't be more transparent, and honestly could not be prettier; same with the freckles on her nose, and on her cheeks. They'd kissed a fair bit that afternoon, so her lips were slightly pinker than usual, and plumper as well.  


"I really need new teacups, these ones have seen better days" Addie stated, looking over her cup and running a finger over the edge of hers, feeling the bumps on her skin.

"They're pretty, though" Finn replied, kissing the side of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair, so divine he couldn't stop.

"Yeah, that's true... You're so warm"

"I am? You cold?" the youngest Shelby asked, jumping into action right away, taking off his greatcoat and wrapping it around Addie, before sitting right behind her and envelopping her in his arms for good measure. "Better?"

"I was actually fine, but I do have to admit this is better. Now you're the one who must be cold, though. Please take your jacket back, I can just go inside and grab something" Addie responded, turning back and kissing Finn's lips, snuggling into him until there wasn't a milimetre between the two. It was a dangerous game to play, but she reckoned it would be just fine: her house was mere feet away, and whatever it was that happened, she would be more than alright with.

"Not at all, I'm absolutely fine" Finn protested, clearing his voice. They'd been outside for so long the sun was already setting, and until then, they'd talked about everything and anything: Addie's family (gone to London, leaving her behind on her own), her home (the small cottage was her family's, and despite what Sarah thought, she lived alone), Finn's brothers, his own house, his occupations, her hobbies, her work, and his love for nature. They'd even discussed what had happened at the Garrison, both admitting the two weeks that had passed since then were too long. But they had jobs, they had obligations, and it wasn't easy to find more than an hour or two to be together, with all the time in the world.

"That feels nice" Addie whispered, Finn's forehead on her shoulder, his lips on her now-exposed shoulderblade.

"Yeah?" he asked, unable to resist the tone of her voice, the pure desire it showed. "I uhm... I've been... thinking of ways to... to... things for us to... try, I guess, if you want to, if you'll let me. I haven't done any of it, but..."

Addie didn't even bother with a verbal reply: carefully, she got up, reached for Finn's hand, and led him to the cottage, picking up the coat so it didn't drag on the floor. The door was open, and the teaset had been left behind, near the river. As for the cottage itself, it really was a tiny little thing, with a modest living room and kitchen on one side, and two sparse bedrooms on the other. Addie took them to the one furthest from the door, her own, comfortable, with newspaper clippings on the walls. Finn hadn't seen that part, but at least there was a bed, which counted as a comfortable surface for the activities she seemed to have in mind.

"I'm yours" Addie simply stated, making Finn blush, swallow the stupid amount of saliva he had produced, and get weak at the knees, all at the same time. She was so upfront, and it was somehow endearing, hot, sensual, and maddening.

"I need to ask for your permission first" he replied, his voice coming out a bit raspier than would be recommended.

"My permission? I've given you my permission, we're in my bedroom" she responded, a bit confused.

"No, no. I need to tell you what I want to do, and you need to tell me whether it's alright with you or not" Finn explained, feeling the sweat covering his palms. That would all work brilliantly, but he needed to not pass out, or lose his guts.

"Alright, sure" Addie nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Wanna sit?"

"No, thanks, I'm... I'll be better off standing. I want to do this right" 

"No need to be nervous, either, pet. It's alright, I'm not gonna get mad, or upset" she assured, making Finn's heart slow down the tiniest bit. "It's so sweet and considerate of you to want my permission"

"Not sweet, no; this should be standard procedure" Finn said, slightly mad at himself for not following such protocol before, and for not thinking about it in those terms until Sarah said it. "Adaline..."

"Adaline?" Addie asked, not used to hearing her full name from her love's mouth.

"Addie? Adaline? Sorry, I'm slightly freaking out"

"I know, and I've told you there's no need for that. Actually, why don't I go first?" Addie suggested, getting up, and making Finn take her place. "Here's what I want permission for: I want you to show me how to touch you, and I want to know what you taste like. Yeah?"

Finn nodded emphatically, his eyes blown wide. Fucking hell, she really had a way with words, didn't she? It wasn't much in terms of subtlety, but by God Finn Shelby didn't appreciate subtlety; he appreciated good, old-fashioned. blatant honesty.

"That's it, that's what I had to say" Addie simply concluded, shrugging after making sure she hadn't forgotten anything. "Your turn"

"Well, actually that's what I wanted to say, too. I've had this image in my head, and uh... it's that. Want to know what you taste like, and want to learn how to make you..." Finn hesitated, observing in shock as Addie made her dress slide down her small figure, the simple brassiere and knickers all that remained of her clothing. Then, she came up to him, parting his legs slightly. "You uh..."

"You wanna take these clothes off for me?" Addie asked, her tongue between her teeth, as she tugged on Finn's shirt. It wasn't really a question, and even if it was, the answer would be yes. In record time, he'd taken off his array of layers, down to his own boxer briefs, only to realise he didn't really have much to show. Addie did, though, as she displayed the epitome of perfection under her modest dress.

"I'm so sorry, I'm not exactly..."

"Shut up" Addie advised, kissing Finn's lips to keep him from saying one more word. She didn't understand his hesitation, because all she saw was the man she was falling in love with, hers for the taking, with a single layer separating the two of them. "Don't even dare"

So Finn didn't. What he did dare to do though, was pull Addie to him, palms flat against the back of her thighs, kissing her lips with abandon, the way he wanted to kiss her ever since he'd first seen her. She was all soft and supple, her skin smooth against his rougher hands; and she was warm to the touch, and even warmer once he managed to lay her down on the bed, his body on top of hers, legs instinctively around his waist. However, and as hard as it was to let go of her mouth, Finn didn't want to wait one more second to do exactly what he wanted to do, what he had asked permission for. No distractions were allowed, as his willpower drove him down his beloved's body, until he reached the hem of her underwear.

"You sure?" Finn asked, looking up, breathing deeply, meeting Addie's eyes, and seeing her nodding. Needless to say, dragging the delicate fabric down her legs, making a superhuman effort not to faint, was done as quickly as he could, calm be damned. And all it took for pure instinct to take over was the slight shiver of her legs: Finn had the focus to take Addie by the waist and lay her head on a pillow, but then he simply had to take her legs, arms around her thighs, and bury his face in her like a man posessed by unquenchable thirst.

"Oh my god" Addie let out, all the air leaving her lungs at once. Her eyes wanted to close, but she wanted to see, she wanted to look at Finn, she wanted to look at him forever, she wanted to stare. It wasn't just the visuals though; it was also the sounds he made, deep from within him. "Oh my god, oh my god..." she kept repeating, tiny stained hands grabbing the blanket tightly, knuckles white. But Finn would have none of that: he managed to grab her hands, without really seeing what he was doing, and placed them on his hair, wanting her to pull it, wanting her to guide him, wanting her to show him.

And then he knew, he knew exactly where he was needed. It was the smallest little bump, something he could've easily missed, if it wasn't for the tug on his curls once his lips touched it. But now, having identified the spot, Finn kissed it, eliciting a gasp; a swipe of his tongue made Addie almost convulse; and once he decided to see what would happen if he sucked... 

_Praise the lord, Shelby, you've done it, lad._

Somehow it was Isaiah's voice he heard, a strange congratulatory message, that lasted a second, before Finn came back to reality, his whole being focusing on that spot, sucking first, then licking, then kissing, then...

"F... Fi..." Addie muttered,trying truly very hard to say his name, to tell him not to move, to tell him he put the stars in the sky. But her voice didn't work; in fact, her whole body didn't work. 

"Say my name. Say my name, love" Finn encouraged, stopping what he was doing for a moment. It wasn't easy, it was never easy to pull away from Adaline, but he needed to hear her say it, he needed it, almost as much as he needed to go back to swallowing every bit of what she had to give him, that intoxicating flavour he knew was all over his face, and he didn't care, he couldn't care one bit less even if he tried. 

"Finn" Addie whispered, eyes locked on his. "Finn, please..."

"That's it, gorgeous, no need to beg, it's alright" Finn replied, going back to what he was doing, going back to that exact spot. And just like that, Finn Shelby felt on top of the world, with nothing more to prove, with nothing else to think about. 

* * *

"Can't feel my legs" Addie chuckled, as Finn laid beside her, pulling the blanket over top the both of them. He was also mildly numb, his jaw especially, but her taste was still in his mouth, the most incredible aftertaste in the world. 

"Yeah?" Finn asked, pulling her leg on top of his own, her head on his shoulder. "Feels good?"

"Really good" she replied, kissing the skin on his shoulder, and then accepting his kiss on her lips. "My turn"

"Hm, I... I don't know how to tell you this, but uh..." he informed, lifting the blanket a bit, to make sure of what he was about to admit to. "I might need a minute, sorry"

"That's fine, don't worry. You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I feel on top of the world" Finn confessed, his eyelids heavy, although he wasn't tired, or sleepy. "I'm sorry, but you taste amazing, and knowing you were liking it was a bit too much, couldn't help it"

"I can kinda taste it a bit, and it's not that awful, but I wouldn't say it's amazing" Addie blushed slightly, and surprisingly. "Bet you taste way better, though"

"I wouldn't bet on it. But god damn it, love, I don't think I've ever enjoyed anything more in my life. I promise, I didn't even touch myself, I did try and hold it in as much as I could" Finn explained, trying to make himself feel better as well. In what world did a proper man come in his pants, just like that? It was mildly pathetic, but Addie didn't think so. It was flattering, to say the least. 

"It's fine, pet, it really is! No worries, I mean it" Addie assured, looking right into Finn's eyes. "Besides, I've nowhere to go tonight; you reckon you could show me how to make you do that a bit later?"

"Yeah, I guess so, if you still want me to" Finn let out a breath, looking out the window and seeing the moon, full and bright, but still less luminous than Addie. Besides, the moon didn't have its hand on his hip, or her mouth on his neck. 

"I do" she assured, kissing and nibbling at the skin she could reach. As for her hand, she had started with just wandering; however, and still keeping in mind her love's request, Adaline wanted to do some exploration. She'd never touched a man, and this particular one caused her to want to see, touch, grab, and pleasure every bit of him.

"You uh... hm. If you could..." Finn started, a jolt of energy surging from his neck.

"Sorry, I'll stop" Addie apologised, completely misinterpreting what he wanted to say.

"No, no, please don't, but right there, where you... yeah, right there" was the breathless reply, as her mouth went back to the spot below his ear that made him quiver. "Shit, that feels amazing"

"Just that?" she asked, taking her time trying out different pressures, and swearing she could hear every single heartbeat in his neck. Finn nodded, which was enough for Addie to become a bit braver: her hand left his hip and snaked down, still over the fabric of the underwear, but allowing her to feel exactly what she went there for.

"And that" Finn managed a chuckle, partially wishing he could freeze time and never leave that bed. Somehow, destiny played a merciless trick, and made Addie's hand the perfect size, something the youngest Shelby didn't know was possible, or even necessary. His own did the job just fine, but hers, even indirectly and hesitantly, was going to doom him to not lasting another five minutes, yet again.

"Now what?" Addie asked, as if she was following a recipe, and not threatening to drive a man to insanity. "Actually no, don't tell me anything, unless you want me to stop"

"I won't want you to stop" Finn admitted, watching in awe as Addie decided they no longer needed the blanket, and that the next step would be to straddle his legs, dressed in absolutely nothing but her own brassiere and knickers, put back on after Finn was done with his earlier efforts, for reasons tied to how beautiful the pale pink fabric looked against her skin, and to make it easier for him to last longer than a minute once they decided to go back to their activities.

"So these can come off?" Addie asked, tugging on his boxer briefs, before pulling them down and throwing them to the floor, upon receiving a nod.

_Do not lose it, Addie, do not open your mouth like a goldfish, you're not a goldfish, keep your stupid mouth shut, I am begging you, girl, keep it..._

"Holy hell" she let out, her internal monologue gone to shit, her jaw dropping, and her eyes widening. That was a man alright, as if there had been any question about it. 

"Oh god" Finn whispered, panicking. Her face was a whole picture, and despite his demons telling him he wasn't enough, that he was wrong, whatever it was, it only contributed to his hardening and, for good measure of mortification, twitching. Surely he was blushing too, which did not help with how infantile he felt.

Only Addie didn't allow him to feel like that for long. Her eyes turned darker somehow, and she went from mouth wide open to biting her lip, her tongue running over her top lip, and Finn felt like prey. There wasn't any other way to put it, he felt like he had been hunted down, and was about to be devoured by a sort of higher divine entity. And shame be damned, it made him feel all kinds of right, the way she looked at him, from his eyes to his manhood, from the pulsating vein on his neck to the goosebumps on his stomach.

"Fuck, I love you" Finn heard himself saying minutes later, his vision clouded by tears, his eyes fighting to stay open, to see what was happening, to not miss a second of it. Surely it was illegal for a woman to make a grown man want to beg for mercy with just her mouth? His legs were shaking, his heart racing, and his voice raspy and low. She had him, fully and completely, body and soul, no questions asked, and no questions left unanswered.

"I love you too" Addie replied, before going back to what she was doing, her mouth otherwise occupied.


	18. Ecclesiastes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW and also trigger warning for mild harrassment  
> I hate Michael Gray lol poor guy is a fucking idiot in season 5 ain't he?  
> Bye Felicia  
> I'm sorry for this idk why I wrote this

The Grace Foundation was a good place to pay dues. You went in, taught the children a couple things, or made a donation, or simply played with them for a couple of hours; even if God decided not to cleanse you of all your sins, at least the less severe ones would be kindly erased. However, and as much as Michael Gray had to get rid of, he didn't go there to do any of those things: he went there to do the books. And then, eventually, he went there to try and apply the ultimate blow to Isaiah Jesus. A killing shot, without any gunpowder. It didn't hurt that she was, by all means, a very good-looking piece of ass.

Isaiah hadn't really done anything to warrant vengeance by normal standards, but Michael disagreed: he'd gone and found himself a woman, and Michael did not like to see a woman he couldn't fuck. It was a law of nature: he saw them, he gave them a look, and they were on their knees. But the fucking girl hadn't fallen for this infallible ploy, not even after the fifth attempt. Even worse, she actually wore her engagement ring while working, and made sure the sparkle of the diamond blinded Michael at any given chance. 

It was war she wanted, and war she would have, until she gave up, which was bound to happen. They all gave up, sooner rather than later. 

"And how is that fiancé of yours? Still alive?" 

"Last time I checked, yes" Sarah replied, taking the book she'd gone to get, and turning her back on the accountant. He really was a dumb piece of shit, wasn't he? 

"Not for long. You run with the Peaky Blinders, you're bound to..." Michael stated, sitting on the edge of his desk. 

"You're bound to have more balls than those who write in notebooks to make a living" she concluded for him, opening the door and walking down the hallway. 

"Harsh. I do pay your salary, miss Williams" he replied, following her swiftly. They were almost the same height, which wasn't really great for his self-esteem.

"Correction: you give me my salary; Shelby enterprises pays for it, you're just an accountant, mr. Gray"

"Michael"

"Kindly fuck off, Michael" Sarah asserted, turning the corner, cheeks red with anger. "Go harrass someone who actually will suck the half-inch you're packing" 

"You can't be sure until you've seen it" Michael tried to reply in kind, but Sarah Williams was wittier than him; actually, she was wittier than just about anyone. 

"Didn't bring my glasses" she shrugged, opening the door to her still-empty classroom. Expectedly, Michael entered behind her, which caused her to roll her eyes. "Besides, I've spoken to some of the poor idiots you've allured. Bye-bye, don't let the door hit you on your way out"

That time, Michael actually did as he was told, right before a swarm of kids entered the room and noisily took their chairs. 

* * *

"This is a bad idea, that I am somewhat in love with" Isaiah smiled, kissing his fiancé hungrily once she got the door locked. Michael was allowed and encouraged to watch, but he sure as hell wasn't allowed to come storming in his own office. 

"You know what's a bad idea? Harrassing a woman after she's told you no a thousand times. This is the only way I think might make him stop" Sarah replied, walking over to the desk and making a show of bending over and dragging the papers, ledgers, books and notebooks off of it. 

"You're being mean"

"I am, I know, and I'll be sorry about it later, as long as Michael Gray is too for what he's put me through" 

There was no arguing with that, was it? And in all honesty, Isaiah was all aboard the "humiliate Michael Gray" train; it was a little less drastic than his own solution, which was blowing off his kneecaps with a couple well-placed bullets. This way, Polly wouldn't be mad, wouldn't suffer for her son, but the motherfucker would learn his lesson. If not, other measures would be taken, even if Sarah was non the wiser about them. 

"You sure about this, aren't you?" Isaiah asked, inbetween his fiancé's legs, which were dangling from the desk. 

"Yeah. You?" Sarah asked in return, tilting her head to the side to allow him to kiss her neck. Isaiah nodded, knowing she'd feel it. "Gosh, you're good" she added, her voice a bit breathier than before. 

"Yeah? You sure you don't want to leave me for Gray? What if he's better?" Isaiah asked, a cheeky smile on his lips, as he pushed up her skirt and moved his lips from her neck to the insides of her thighs. "He the one getting you soaked or..."

"It's you" Sarah assured, running her hands through Isaiah's curls, making sure to pull him to her, trying to get his mouth someplace else. 

"Good to know" he responded, taking her knickers and stashing them in his coat's pocket. "I'm gonna keep these"

Sarah nodded, having lost her voice. As bad as it was to say it, she did like to have Isaiah on his knees in front of her, mouth on her, hands on her thighs. It felt like the whole world was him, the whole of existence was about him, and it felt so good, he was so amazing, lips, tongue, every single bit. But he didn't let her finish, which was only slightly annoying. It would be worse if it wasn't for Isaiah getting back on his feet, working on getting his trousers open. 

"Shit" she let out once he was inside her, forearms supporting her thighs. "Holy fuck, love. Harder, please, please"

"You wanna say that a bit louder?" Isaiah urged, an evil grin on his face as he heard steps outside the door. "Come on, beauty, say it louder"

"Please?" Sarah asked, biting her lip at the same time, which was honestly baffling to Isaiah, but it didn't really matter, he'd ask her how she did that later. "Harder?"

"That's perfect" Isaiah encouraged, making damn sure to give Sarah absolutely everything she wanted. She always did though, without even begging, most of the time. A minute was enough for both of them to actually forget there was a mission behind what they were doing. Although Michael had actually come to the door, judging by the steps outside the door and the angry punch to the wood, it was quite difficult to focus on whatever else was going on. "God, you're perfect"

Needless to say, not only was it safe to say Michael Gray left Sarah alone for good, but also that it couldn't be expected to see Isaiah Jesus and aunt Polly's son in the same room together without chaos ensuing. 


	19. Song of Solomon

It was difficult to decide which was funnier: the pointless smile on his lips, or the daydreaming. Finn had been in some sort of haze-infused delusion for three days, incapable of paying attention to anything other than whatever occupied his thoughts. It wasn't great for communication, but he seemed happy, and that was all that mattered. He still did his jobs well enough, and he still came around for his lessons, but it wasn't like those things had his full attention, particularly when Adaline was around, or the promise of her popping by was in the air. 

"You know I think I want to marry her. I'm serious, too. Tommy would approve, and even if he doesn't, who the hell cares, you know? Oh, and those eyes, mate, those eyes will be the death of me. If only I could spend my whole day with her, every day, for the rest of my life... I'd never want to leave the house"

Isaiah rolled his eyes, sipping on his beer slowly. Sure, he knew the feeling, but he was at least able to somewhat function and be of use. Finn, on the other hand, was absolutely useless, and it was a daunting sight to see. Every time the subject of the conversation wasn't Addie, the kid found a way to go back to her, to make her the centre of his world. It was both endearing and mildly disturbing for Isaiah, who needed alcohol to get through his best friend's passionate monologues. 

"Just imagine her in a wedding dress, or... or... I don't know, in a ballgown, like the ones in fairytales" Finn kept on, forcing Isaiah to hide his mouth behind the glass. "Wow, and then if we ever... you know, have children, she'd be the most beautiful mother, and..."

"No offense, mate, it's great that you're happy, but will you please let me speak for just ten seconds?" the preacher's son asked, prompting Finn to shake his head, then nod, and finally take a sip of his own dark mild. 

"Sorry, yeah, sure, shoot"

"Yeah, so I uh... Sarah has agreed to marry me next month" Isaiah informed, seeing the smile forming on his face reflected on his best friend's features. "And I want you as my best man" 

"Are you serious? Fucks sake mate, of course! Shit, of course I'll be your best man!" Finn celebrated, so excited his whole face turned a bright shade of pink. "Shit, thought you two were going to make me wait forever"

"No, no, it was just a matter of waiting a bit, after what happened to Sarah's family and all that... But what you said... that's why we're doing it next month"

"Sarah's pregnant? Oh my god, oh my god..." Finn almost shouted, interrupting what Isaiah wanted to say. 

"No, she's not pregnant, keep it down" he insisted, effectively raining on Finn's parade, making him look like a child who's lost their balloon at the carnival. "What I meant was that I want her to be the mother of my children, the more the better within reason, and I want it to happen as soon as possible"

"Well, I'll have to agree that she'd make a fantastic mother, but you'll have a hard time convincing me that Sarah Williams will be on board with that whole 'the more the merrier' school of thought" Finn chuckled, clearly envisioning Sarah raising her eyebrow whenever Isaiah brought up the football team kinda family he seemed to have in mind. 

"That's very true, eh?" Isaiah admitted, letting out a good-humoured sigh. "She's seen women give birth, and I don't think that contributed to her excitement about motherhood"

"You reckon they'll let you be there when she gives birth? Lizzie's midwife and Pol refused to let Tommy in the room when Ruby arrived" Finn remembered, looking at his own glass. Sure, Isaiah was older, he was engaged, he had his wits about him, and all the makings of a good father, whereas Finn himself was a dumb kid, with no real prospects in life, who had overcome a cocaine addiction. Surely it would be a stupid idea to start a family, it would be idiotic to come to Addie with the idea of having a baby. 

_It was, wasn't it?_

_Yeah, it was._

_Stupid kid._

"Let'em try and stop me if Sarah wants me there" Isaiah stated, fully ready to bare-knuckle fight several armies if Sarah did as much as whisper the first letter of his name. "Besides, if you pay well enough, you can even do it at the hospital, where it's safer"

"Fair, it's probably better at the hospital" Finn agreed, his own thoughts running rampant: Addie with a bump, Addie giving birth, Addie with a baby in her arms, Addie with another baby in her arms... obviously there was also the part where the both of them actually conceived, which... well, that was another thing entirely.

"That's what I wanted to say, you can go back to Addie if you want" Isaiah laughed, unavailable to comment on the overwhelming joy his upcoming nuptials made him feel. Marrying the woman he loved, making sure to give her the most spectacular day, taking her on a honeymoon, making love to her all day and night, and then coming back to Birmingham, and...

"Addie?" Finn suddenly said, so loud it brought Isaiah back to reality. 

"Addie?" he repeated, not expecting to see the printer at the Garrison, at eleven at night. 

"Hi, I'm sorry to disturb, but there's something you need to see" Addie said, taking a chair, looking around and setting a freshly-printed newspaper on the table. "I was working on tomorrow's edition, and I came across this ad. It's not for Birmingham in specific, it's for London, but uh... well, the picture..."

Her stained fingers ran through the pages, before settling down on the second-to-last one, where a small ad was placed; in it, a man and a woman with forced smiles stood in front of a wall-mounted crucifix.

_The Church of the Holy Spirit_

_Come join us for our service and Bible studies, as we try to get rid of the evil-doers of England._

_Urgent donations welcome._

Neither Finn nor Isaiah said anything for a couple of minutes, and Addie herself couldn't say a word either. The three of them knew what they were looking at, and all of them said a prayer, thanking God that it hadn't been Sarah to spot the advertisement. 

"Not a word to her. Not a single word, you hear me?" Isaiah ended up saying, his voice low and menacing. 

"Of course not. But what are we gonna do?" Finn asked, exchanging looks with his beloved. He'd told her about Sarah's family, what her parents had done, and Addie had taken it upon herself to keep an eye on the news, looking for the two criminals. She never actually thought the day would come when they actually appeared on the publication, but the moment had come, and she was completely lost on what to do. 

"Keep her the fuck away from London, for starters" Isaiah replied, his leg bouncing under the table. "And keep this newspaper away from her. She can't see this. Ever"

"I could burn them" Addie volunteered. It would be easy too, it was a stack of paper and a couple of matches would do the trick.

"You'd lose your job" Isaiah countered, knowing damn well Addie would rather be caught dead than unemployed. "No, all we have to do is divert her attention to something else. Make sure she doesn't read the news"

"Maybe take her to Tommy, to tell him about the wedding" Finn suggested, shrugging. He didn't have a lot of better ideas, other than just simply lock Sarah inside her bedroom, and refuse to let her leave until a new edition of the damned news came out. 

"The wedding?" Addie chimed in, her face going from worried to ecstatic. 

"Yeah, we're getting married next month, but if I want that to happen, she needs to remain in the dark about her parents. I don't want to stirr up shit she's worked so damn hard to work through" Isaiah said, biting the inside of his cheek. "But fuck, won't she hate me for keeping secrets from her? How am I gonna look her in the eye without telling her the people responsible for her losing her siblings are in London? I don't... fuck, what do I do?"

"That's... that's actually kinda valid, eh? It would be kinda lying to her, even if it was for her benefit" Finn agreed, looking down at his hand. "What would you want me to do if you were Sarah?" he asked Addie, turning to her, and pratically seeing the confusion inside her brain. 

"Well, what she doesn't know can't hurt her... but then again, it's a matter of truth, and of honesty. I don't think either of you would be able to live with yourselves if you were keeping such a big thing from someone close" Addie responded, toying with the corner of the page. "I think I would want to know, and I think Sarah would too. Maybe she's chosen to forgive them and move on with her life. And if not, she's in her right to tell you what she would like to happen to them"

* * *

"My love, I need to talk to you" Isaiah called out, as soon as he arrived home. His father had probably gone to bed already, it was late, and Sarah was the only one who stayed up until later.

"You alright? Are Finn and Addie alright?" Sarah asked, getting up from her chair in a panic, going to meet Isaiah by the door. 

"Yeah, we're all fine, it's actually something else" he replied, bending over to kiss her on the lips, before removing his cap and coat, and hanging them by the front door. 

"Oh, ok, what is it?"

They both sat on the sofa, looking at the fireplace, exactly as they had way back when, at Finn's home, during his recovery. Isaiah didn't know where to start, the newspaper Addie had given him weighed a thousand pounds on his hands. Finally, he simply decided to show her the ad, allowing her to draw her own conclusions. 

As expected, her face went from confused, to aprehensive, to angry, and ended up in deep-rooted sadness, eyes filled to the brim with water, none of it coming down to her cheeks. It was even more painful than seeing her cry, Isaiah thought, not even daring to take her hand, or bring her into his arms, to show her she wasn't alone. She would be free to ask for anything she needed, on her own time. 

"London. They didn't even bother fleeing the country. _They went to fucking London_ " Sarah ended up hissing, after what felt like a lifetime. She was no longer said, she was enraged, the kind of expression Isaiah had yet to see in her. "God help me, they should've gone where I couldn't find them"

"What do you want me to do? Say it, and it's yours" Isaiah guaranteed, turning on the sofa to better face his fiancé. 

"Take me to London, and let me borrow your revolver" Sarah replied, facing him as well. "Let me end them and spit on their corpses as they rot in hell"

"I should be the one doing that"

"I want to do it" she insisted, her fists clenched. "I need to do it, for my babies"

"Will you be able to live with yourself if you do that?" Isaiah asked, thinking about the first man he'd killed himself. It had weighed so fucking heavy on his mind he didn't think he would be able to do it again. But he did, and he was able to come to terms with it as well. However, if he was able to prevent Sarah from doing something similar, he would do it. 

"I guess we'll find out" Sarah simply dismissed, standing up and ripping the ad from the newspaper, and stashing it in her pocket. "You coming?"

"Baby, we need to think this through" Isaiah advised. "I'm on board with anything you wanna do, but please... please, don't do anything harsh. Let me talk to Tommy, let me put together a couple of trustworthy men, make sure it doesn't get pinned on us" Isaiah begged, taking her hand and pulling her to him. "Please?"

"Isaiah..."

"Please. Don't make me lose you. I know that... I know that this is too much, and I understand how you feel, but... please?" Isaiah pleaded, his heart beating on his throat. "Hey, think about it, at least"

"Fine. Fine" Sarah scoffed, before accepting Isaiah's hug, and hiding her face in his shirt, before breaking into tears. 

"Let it out, beloved, that's alright" Isaiah whispered, stroking her back, making sure she didn't collapse to the ground under the weight of her own sobs. "We'll fix it, I promise"

"I want them dead, Isaiah, I want them dead" Sarah kept repeating, holding on to Isaiah's arms so tightly anyone would think he was about to run off. 

"I know, of course" he responded, carefully picking her up and carrying her back to the sofa, where he wrapped a blanket around her. "I want that too, but I want it to be done right, with no ties to you"

"I'm not a coward, I can kill them myself" Sarah protested, wiping away her face.

"I know you're not a coward, no one knows that better than me. All I'm saying is that there are men who work with the Shelbies who can get it done, and you won't even have to lift a finger. Do you really think they're worth the hassle of going to London? Why not treat them like the insignificant vermin they are, and send someone else to get their hands dirty?" Isaiah asked, seeing the slight sparkle of reason coming back to Sarah, the shock wearing off. She was an exceptional woman, he knew that much, but each day that went by she proved even more remarkable than the last. Isaiah knew the last thing he would see would be reason, if it was him in that situation; but Sarah was better than him, she knew how to think things through, and ponder pros and cons. 

"May I have some time to think? Will these men be available at any given time?" Sarah asked, after being silent for a good five minutes. It was true that she felt as if she had just lost her siblings all over again, it was true the fire of rage was burning in her heart stronger than ever before; but there was no denying that the scent of the man she loved, his support, his affection, made her reflect a bit. She wanted revenge, but she also didn't want to lose what she had built, despite the years of abuse. In short, she didn't want her parents to ruin her life, the life she'd built in spite of them. 

"Of course, love, all the time you need. I'm sorry I came home so late"

"What? That's fine, you can come home whenever you want" Sarah responded, snuggling into him a bit more. 

"Well, that's kind of you, but I meant to be home way before now; but when Addie came in with the newspaper, the three of us didn't know what to do, and spent a fair amount of time thinking it through. Was telling you the right decision?" Isaiah asked, relieved beyond belief to see that Sarah was no longer crying. She seemed to be tired, done with the world, but calmer. 

"It was. I'd rather know than not know" 

"We thought the same. And Addie said something that really made sense: I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I'd kept a secret from you"

"You're too good for me" Sarah sighed, her face on the crook of his neck. 

"Don't even say that, that's not true" Isaiah replied, kissing the top of her head. "I wish I had the words to tell you how incredible you are for not running to London and take care of business off the cuff" 

"I want to though. Only reason I'm not going to is because I don't want to risk losing this. My parents took away my siblings, but I refuse to let them take away the life I was able to get despite what they've done"


	20. Isaiah

A big decision takes time, especially when it concerns someone's life or death. Sarah Williams knew her parents had to die, and each hour they got to remain alive was an hour she considered lost. But the decision to end them, how to do it, when to do it, whether or not to do it... it was a bit more complicated than just reacting on impulse. Isaiah said it best, on one of the nights she couldn't sleep: killing, even righteously, wasn't easy on the soul, or on the mind. It was scary to think of what came after taking a life, let alone two. They were killers, they'd killed their own children, which was beyond forgiveness for the surviving daughter, and for those around her. However, was she any better than them if she went down the same path? 

"Sarah? Love, you alright?" 

"Hm? Yeah, sure, sorry" Sarah replied, making sure to turn to Isaiah and face him, instead of just looking up at the ceiling. He had obviously just woken up, his sleepy eyes barely focusing on her, and his raspy voice denouncing how tired he felt after a long day at the betting shop. 

"What time is it?" Isaiah asked in return, reaching for the pocketwatch he always kept on the nightstand. It was barely 3 a.m., and Sarah most likely hadn't slept one single minute. He knew she slept on her side, never on her back, because it gave her nightmares. But of course, her situation was nothing short of a bad dream, and it was hell not to be able to make it better. "It's three in the morning, baby, please try and sleep"

"I uh... I'm trying, I promise" was her weak response, one he knew not to be true. Maybe she'd tried, and failed, and gave in to the insomnia. 

"Hey, com'ere" he asked, extending his arms to her, and pulling her to him, her back against his torso, his arms around her waist, and her head resting below his chin. It was warm, it was comfortable, and it made Sarah smile the tiniest bit. Whatever else was wrong in the world, nothing could ever be more right than being held by that man, the man she loved, the man she was ready to pledge her life to. "Everything will work out, you'll be fine, I'll make damn sure of that. I know you feel like you've got the biggest decision to make, but it doesn't have to be that way"

"Doesn't it? I can't live with knowing I've killed them, either myself or by my orders; and I can't live with knowing they're out there, after what they've done" Sarah confessed, even having discussed that subject matter with her fiancé thousands of times. 

"What would you rather have happen? What would be ideal?" Isaiah asked, making sure the blankets covered Sarah completely. She seemed to be warm, but one could never be too careful. 

"Ideally? Well, ideally... maybe having them rot in jail for the rest of their lives" she replied, after giving it some thought. It would guarantee that they paid for what they did, without resorting to death, and allowing her conscience to remain clear for as long as she could keep it that way. 

Isaiah stayed silent for a couple of minutes, now completely awake, brain working at full speed. It was remarkable that it was a tool of the trade, to be able to go from dormant to completely functional in a matter of minutes. His old plan, the one made before the tragic fire, came back to him, so strongly he didn't understand where it could've gone all that time. A way to have the criminals locked up, paying eternally for what they did... Surely Tommy could do it, and they wouldnt even need to plant cocaine, or opium, or anything like that. It would be almost pathetically easy to tell the Birmingham police that those two people had to be arrested for arson and murder, and no copper would even hesitate to go forth with that request. 

"But I know it's not possible to lock them up for life without proof, and I really don't have any..." Sarah stated, mistaking his silence for doubt. "If only they were to drop dead by their own accord..."

"Beloved, will you please remind me of who my boss is?" Isaiah asked, a smug smile plastered on his handsome features, even if Sarah couldn't see it. 

"Tommy?"

"Exactly. Tommy is an MP. He's OBE. He's the most powerful man in this town, and I'm pretty sure he won't say no to helping us out" the preacher's son informed, burying his nose in Sarah's hair, basking in her sweet scent, and almost being able to feel her heart beating a little faster. 

"I hadn't thought of that" Sarah admitted, turning around to face her partner, looking up into his eyes with nothing but pure joy. 

"Me neither; I genuinely thought you wanted them dead" Isaiah confessed. He truly was under the impression that his fiancé was simply taking her time getting used to the thought of killing her own parents. 

"Maybe we could go see Tommy tomorrow? Tell him about it?"

"Absolutely, we'll do that. But only after you get some sleep, eh?" he insisted, feeling Sarah's eyelashes brushing against the skin of his neck. "When was the last time you slept decently?"

"Can't remember" she replied, inhaling careful and deliberately. If she had to admit to it, she'd admit to being slightly exhausted, and could even feel her eyes closing. "You smell nice"

"Good to know, thank you, but please, go to sleep. I'm worried sick about you" Isaiah said, feeling the haziness returning as well. 

* * *

The greatest feeling in the world came from the warmth of a comfortable bed, from being under heavy blankets, while terrible thunder and rain stormed outside thick walls; even better was combining that with not being alone in said comfortable bed, and under said heavy blankets. Addie had a talent for making whatever place she occupied become cozy, and Finn's small house wasn't an exception. 

"You sure it's alright if I stay?"

"What do you mean, am I sure? Of course I'm sure, it's my house, you're my girl, and I couldn't be happier to have you here" Finn protested, grabbing Addie by the waist and pulling her to him so tightly she had no way to escape. She didn't want to either, but one could never be too careful. 

"It's way warmer here than it is at my house" Addie admitted, not missing the drafts or the humidity one bit. 

"Which is why you're moving here" Finn replied, already gearing up to trot down to the cottage the next morning, and grab everything Addie owned, bringing it back to his own house, and never having her be cold again. 

"That's very sweet of you to offer, pet, but people would talk. Besides, it's too kind, your home is much better than mine, and your brothers wouldn't like me just moving here" Addie reasoned, all the while wondering how it was possible to feel so protected in someone else's house. 

"You know what? People talk about everything and anything. And my brothers couldn't care less about what I do, as long as I do my job when I'm needed, and as long as I stay happy enough to not take cocaine or blow my brains off. So, I feel like it's the only logical step. I don't want you in that cold house, nor do I want to ever sleep without you by my side. You're safe here, and..."

Finn couldn't finish the sentence: the weight of his words proved to be a bit too much for Addie, who had tears in her eyes, and who couldn't prevent kissing him full on the lips, which he replied to enthusiastically. 

"Are you sure it's alright? I can leave whenever, promise to tell me when I become a burden, or..." 

"Don't even say that. You won't. Ever. Addie, I love you, alright? And I love you for real, for real as in I know you're the one I want. And I want you now, and I'll want you 'till the day I die" Finn passionately informed, irises fiercely focused on Addie's. 

"I love you too. For real" she responded, kissing him once again. There were so many butterflies in her stomach it was almost unbearable, in the nicest way possible. It was absolutely true that she had never been warmer, or happier, or more loved. No one had ever cared about her enough to want to protect her from harm, from the weather, from anything. 

"Yeah?" he smirked, kissing her back, on the lips, on the cheeks, and on the nose for good measure. 

"Yeah" she assured, laughing at the ticklish feeling of his lips on her skin. "You're like my own personal furnace, you're so warm"

"Must be all the whisky I've been drinking" Finn joked, making Addie laugh too. They both knew quite well he didn't really like whisky, and prefered beer. "You comfortable?" 

"Very. You?"

"Me too"

Addie kissed Finn, her lips on his, the softest of flutters causing his heart to race. Loving this girl, loving this woman, was the greatest gift life had given the youngest of the Shelby brothers; she was the shining beacon of hope that kept him from falling down the dark pit of despair he'd managed to get out of, thanks to Sarah and Isaiah. Without either of them realising what had happened, Finn had rolled over, trapping Addie beneath his own weight, using his forearms to make sure he didn't crush her fragile figure. It was much better to kiss her like this, he knew that much from previous experience, he could kiss her deeper, harder. As for Addie, she felt as if she could crumble and break at any moment, disarmed, vulnerable, but entirely free.

The rain pelted against the windows more violently each minute, and the downstairs clock struck 4 a.m. when powerful thunder overwhelmed everything else, everything but the amount of desire building inside the bodies of the two of them, a want built out of nothing but love, and perhaps a bit of despair as well. Thankfully, Finn only wore his underpants to bed, and Addie, not expecting to be way from home that night, had borrowed one of his shirts; that meant it didn't take them more than a minute of joint effort to discard the articles of clothing, carelessly thrown on the floor.

Then, it only got easier: Finn knew what to do with his fingers, having practised thoroughly in previous occasions, and knowing Adaline's body better than he seemed to know his own. It wasn't repetitive, or boring, it was simply incredible to be able to reach down, take her thigh and moving it to the side, before placing the pads of two fingers right on the spot he'd learned about.

Addie gasped, before letting out a moan, which ended in a sigh. Her face, flawless anyway, looked even more divine and angelic when she was pleasured, and Finn had exchanged his addiction to cocaine for an addiction to her body, to her soul, to her voice, to the way her eyes filled with water when he touched her. Besides, and even in spite of how much they loved each other, it was undeniable that there was chemistry; there was something between them that caused sparks, that caused whatever they did to feel a million times better than the same action with anyone else.

Knowing her by heart, Finn also knew exactly when to use his fingers differently, and in what position, to make Addie go from teary-eyed to full-on crying. On his side, kissing her lips all the while, his wrist doing all the work. But it was Addie's own hand which stopped his willing movements, without even a word to explain why she climbed on top of him, kissing his lips as if it was the last time she would get access to them.

"All the way" Adaline ended up saying, coming up for air, her hair draped over Finn, who looked like he'd been ran over by a stampede, but couldn't be happier about it. Nevertheless, her words made him stop in his tracks, hands on her back, pupils blown.

"You mean... All the way?" Finn asked back, making sure she nodded as enthusiastically as possible. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"I am"

"Absolutely?"

"Yes"

Finn swallowed, before nodding, and blinking twice, taking a deep breath for good measure. It was as good a moment as any, and he was ready to go, as was she; but the fear took over him, the absolute panic of letting her down, the panic of feeling like he was going to hurt her. It was unbearable to think of doing to Addie what he'd done to those poor girls he'd paid, it was almost nauseating to try and justify doing it to her. Granted, she was the one asking for it, but despite imagining it in his head, despite knowing it would some day happen... it wasn't any easier, and it wasn't any better.

"Finn? What's wrong, pet?" Addie asked, her heart sinking as she saw the tears running down his cheeks, even if Finn did do his best to try and conceal them.

"Nothing, nothing, I'm so sorry" Finn replied, trying to hide his face with his hands, but not being allowed by his love, who held him in her arms, letting him sob into her shoulder. "Addie, I'm so sorry"

"Sweetheart, it's alright, don't apologise. I'm the one who's sorry for pressuring you, for..."

"Pressuring me? You didn't do that, of course you didn't do that, don't even say that" he protested, not even crying anymore. "No, it's not you, you didn't do anything wrong, it's me, I'm fucking broken, I'm broken, I can't even... I want to be a man, but I can't... I can't... not to you, I can't hurt you"

"You won't hurt me, and you won't do anything to me, you'll do it with me. Besides, we don't have to do anything. This doesn't need to happen" Addie reassured, relieved that Finn was at least not crying anymore. "I shouldn't have asked you it out of nowhere"

"It's alright, just need a bit to work around.... you know. Some shit" Finn replied, pulling Addie to him, comforted by the weight of her head on his chest. None of them even bothered putting on their clothes, staying like that, simply breathing, hearts beating in synch. 


	21. Jeremiah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light mentions of racism!!!!

Behind their eyes, there was nothing but fear. There was possibly also a hint of disapointment, but there wasn't much time to assert that, nor did she want to go that deep into the subject. As for Sarah herself, her eyes didn't have a hint of anything: she was all rage. The room was damp and cold, but her body achieved reckless temperatures, under the tension of seeing her parents, under the disgust of having to breathe the same air as them. 

"What is happening to us?" her father asked, hands behind his back, tied up to the chair. "Why is that man here?"

"We're here to pay you a courtesy visit" Isaiah sarcastically spat, his eyes on Sarah, never letting her out of his sight. That was the condition for that visit: that she was accompanied, so that anything she needed would be taken care of. 

"Why are we here?" her mother asked, trying to sound strong, but failing miserably. Truth was she was terrified of what she saw on her eldest daughter's face, and knew very well the young woman would not have requested a visit if it wasn't to make them pay for what they'd done. 

"Why... why are you here? How dare you act like you don't know? How dare you ask that? HOW DARE YOU?" Sarah shouted, her voice bouncing on the walls and echoing. "You... you... you killed my baby sisters and brothers... you burned them... you burned them to fucking death, you took EVERYTHING FROM ME!" 

"You have no proof of that, young lady" Jebediah said, straightening his back. "Those accusations aren't enough to put us in jail"

"They may not be, but I know how to make you rot here until you die a slow, painful death. I've friends in places that can guarantee that" Sarah grinned, assuming the dignified posture of a queen; Isaiah couldn't possibly take his eyes off her now, off the terrifying and sad beauty of his love. "And guess what? If I'm ever in the mood to come here and set fire to the both of you, I can do that, and there is nothing you can do to stop me, or hold me accountable"

"I can vouch for that" Isaiah confirmed, stashing his Peaky cap in the pocket of his greatcoat. 

"You wouldn't..." the pastor said, almost squealing. "You wouldn't do that, Sarah, you're a God-fearing girl..."

"Oh, I am? Well, your so-called religion didn't stop you murdering your own children, did it?" Sarah responded, her fists clenched. She'd be damned if God had anything to do with the actions of her parents, and twice as damned if God condoned the murder of children. "Huh? You got nothing to say?"

"We did what we did because of our cause, we..." Mary stuttered, being cut off by a punch to the jaw. 

"I know why you did it, I don't need you to tell me" Sarah informed, strangely less angry now that she had a confession. In full honesty, that was really all she needed: an admission of guilt, a punch to those faces that had tormented her for her whole life, and to lock those two up for good, throwing away the key. "Isaiah, we can go now. I don't want to look at these demons anymore"

"Just one more thing before we go" Isaiah asked, stepping forward and facing his in-laws right in the eyes. He too hated and despised those two individuals so much he felt ready and willing to kill them there and then. However, Sarah wanted them to suffer in prison, and there was no one on planet Earth who would convince him to go against her wishes. Nevetheless, he felt the need to tell them a couple of things. "Sarah told me what you've been preaching about people of colour, and I want you to know this: whenever you go to sleep, I want you to know that your daughter is with me, that she's marrying me, and that she'd in my bed" he smuggly added, fully enjoying the looks of disgust he received in return. "Oh, and... I almost forgot" 

With that, Isaiah mimicked his fiancé, and landed a powerful punch on Jebediah, who fell back with the impact. Only then did the two of them turn around and leave the cell, thanked the guards, and left the prison, taking in the fresh, silent air of the night. None of them said anything as they started their path back to the motorcycle, nor on the way home: there were no words needed, and there was certainly nothing to add to what had been said in front of Jebediah and Mary Williams. 

"So?" Jeremiah asked, the second the both of them came through the front door. The preacher had been worried sick, thinking Sarah or Isaiah would lose their minds, and do something they would regret. But no, they didn't seem affected by whatever happened at the prison, and appeared to be in good health. 

"How you feeling, my love?" Isaiah asked, turning to Sarah and taking her coat. "Better?"

Sarah nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and taking the cup of water Jeremiah offered. Without saying a word, she sipped on it, swallowed carefully, and placed it on a nearby table, before her face paled, and she collapsed to the ground.

* * *

_She is perfectly fine, but she does need to rest. From what you told me, she went through a lot today, and since her heart and lungs are fine, I'm assuming that's what happened. Don't worry, pastor: you'll have your teacher back._

Sarah seemed to be hearing voices, but she couldn't really be sure, as whoever was talking seemed to be far away, deep in a well, or inside a cave. The man was talking about a teacher, and Sarah assumed it was her, but couldn't be sure. Besides, where was Isaiah? She missed him, and she was pretty sure he was next to her, mere seconds ago. Why had everything gone black?

_Finn! Finn, Addie, you need to go. Let Sarah rest._

_But aunt Polly, what if she needs us here?_

_She doesn't, lad. Now move_ along.

Aunt Polly? Polly Gray? When had she appeared? Someone was adjusting a blanket over her body, and there was someone holding her hands, but she couldn't see them, she couldn't see any of it. Nothing made sense, unless... had she passed out? Was she... had she died? No, she couldn't have, if Polly Gray was speaking, if she could hear her clear as day, and Finn Shelby too...

_Isaiah, make sure to be here, in case she wakes up. Ask her a couple of questions, to make sure she's alright and hasn't suffered any memory loss._

_Of course, of course._

_I'll stay here too, doctor._

Isaiah was there, now she knew for sure. It was amazing how precious his voice was, even without being able to see him. Why was that, anyway? Why were her eyes so heavy, and resisting opening up? It took all of her might, but she was able to open them just a smidge, just to make sure Isaiah really was there. It didn't take much to see her own hands, safely encased in his, accounting for how safe she felt, despite her utter confusion about her current situation. 

"Sarah? Sarah, can you hear me? Shit, love, you almost killed me with worry" Isaiah let out, as soon as his fiancé was able to fully look at him. She looked a bit better, a bit less pale, but still tired. 

"Sorry" Sarah replied, wishing she had any sort of command over her body, so that she could hug that man and never let go. 

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" he asked, seemingly reading her mind and kissing her cheeks, forehead, and everywhere he could reach. "Can you remember everything that happened, are you alright?"

"Yeah" Sarah promised, furrowing her brow and trying to see past the man she loved. Polly really was there, as well as Jeremiah, and she couldn't help but smile at them, trying to assure them she was fine, that whatever happened had been some sort of momentaneous issue. "Yeah, I'm alright, I just... I don't know what happened, I'm sorry"

"Don't be, love; Jeremiah told me what you went to do today, and it would take out anyone" Polly replied. She liked that girl, she was good and loyal, and also strikingly beautiful. She made a good pair with the equally handsome Isaiah, a boy who was family to the Shelbies. 

"It wasn't... easy. But I've closed that chapter and now I can fully recover from... what happened" Sarah said, hoping more than ever that it was true, that she could move on, and live her life without the shadow of her parents looming over her. The last thing she needed was to spend her wedding day thinking about the tragedy that had clouded her young life. 

"Of course" Polly agreed, finally able to breathe easily. "Well, I better go tell Finn and Adaline that you're alright. Get some rest" 

"I will. Thank you" 

Polly nodded, and was walked to the front door by Jeremiah, who was also able to calm down a little, knowing that Sarah would be fine, that she had only succumbed to the aftermath of the challenge she'd faced. 

"I'm going to sleep now. Let me know if you need anything, alright? And don't even think about fooling around; you need to rest" Jeremiah demanded, making Isaiah blush, and Sarah laugh nervously. 

"Dad, what the fuck is wrong with you? Please, go to bed" Isaiah protested, as his dad left the room, and closed the door behind them, smirking all the way to his bedroom. "I literally cannot believe he would say something like that. In what world would I try to have sex with you after you passed out?"

"Oh, so that's what happened. I'd never passed out before" Sarah admitted, sitting up on the bed a bit more. It was so comfortable and warm, everything that was missing was Isaiah under the covers with her. "It was nothing, I was probably just tired. I feel much better now. Like I could... you know. Be happy again"

"That's good to hear, my love. You want some water? Anything like that?"

"You in bed with me?" she tentatively asked, hoping it couldn't be classed as "fooling around". 

"Alright, I can do that" Isaiah happily agreed, getting down to his underwear, and hopping in bed with his bride, pulling her close to him and wrapping his arms around her. She was warm, which was a good sign, and her heart beat steadily. It meant that he too could relax, since she wasn't ill, or injured, and seemed to be comfortable and happy. "You should've seen Finn and Addie, they were worried sick"

"I'm so sorry for all the trouble, for worrying all of you, and the doctor, and Polly" Sarah lamented, snuggling against Isaiah's chest, inhaling his scent, counting every single one of her lucky stars. 

"No worries, love. Needed to make sure you were alright. Can't have my girl falling to the ground" 

"Oh yeah? Mister 'fuck your racist asses, have fun imagining a man of colour fucking your daughter'?" Sarah teased, laughing at how embarrassed Isaiah looked. 

"Listen, I didn't mean it like that... no, maybe I did, but they really are racists, and were spreading a bunch of shit about everyone who isn't white, and I'll be damned if..." He was cut off by Sarah's lips on his, kissing him sweetly yet decisively. Despite knowing it couldn't lead to their usual destination, Isaiah kissed her back, thumb caressing her cheek. "My point was that they're wrong, and should feel bad"

"Absolutely" Sarah agreed with a nod. "You sure the whole fooling around bit was an order?"

"More like a suggestion, but I must say I can't disagree. You need to rest" Isaiah stated, resting his chin on the top of her head, but knowing quite well Sarah would be pouting. It was best to look away, or he'd find it harder to refuse her request. 

"What if..."

"Beloved, I mean it. Please, let's sleep, you need to recover, and tomorrow we'll see how you feel, ok?"

"Fine, thats fair" she had to concede, reckoning they'd have all their lives to do exactly as they pleased, provided she didn't have to lay eyes on her parents ever again. 


	22. Lamentations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so:   
> NSFW  
> Talks of contraception lol   
> PSA?  
> Whatever

"Which one, miss? Ivory or pure white? We could also do cream, if you really wanted to" the middle-aged woman asked, eyeing Sarah from every angle possible, after managing to get her on a small, round platform. She had a good amount of pins and needles stuck to small silk pillow, attached to the wrist by a velvet band, and a hairstyle so complicated it was hard to see how it could be achieved. 

"I reckon maybe ivory? What do you think?" Sarah asked Addie, who had taken the morning off work to accompany the bride to the seamstress. "I feel like pure white is too flashy, but ivory is a bit more muted"

"I like ivory" Addie agreed, looking at the fabric swatches the seamstree had provided. 

"Maybe we could do lace, as well. I've some in a gorgeous scallop pattern that would look very nice over top this ivory silk" the woman, mrs. Lake, suggested, grabbing the aforementioned lace and combining it with the preferred silk. It looked beautiful, and age appropriate for a very young bride. 

"That's perfect, thank you so much, mrs. Lake" Sarah said, as the seamstress nodded and put away the swatches, busying herself with the measurements next. 

"No worries, dear. It should be ready for a first fitting in about two weeks"

* * *

"Are you nervous about it? Your wedding, I mean" Addie asked, as the two young women threaded down the high street, preparing to go back to Finn's home, which was now Addie's too. 

"I don't think I am. At least not now. Besides, me and Isaiah already live together, we're basically married already; all we're missing is the official part of it" Sarah replied, looking down at the heirloom engagement ring her fiancé had given her, and which she looked after with all the care in the world. 

"That's true, you're right" the younger girl asked, not able to prevent the heaviness of questions left to ask in the air. Sarah, who knew Adaline well, and who could read people, noticed it, but thought it would be better to let her ask what she needed to know in her own time, instead of pushing her into what would certainly be uncomfortable territory. "I thought Finn's family would hate the thought of us moving in together, but they seem pretty comfortable with it"

"As they should be: you're both adults, right? There was no pressure from either side to go ahead with it. Besides, everyone knows how happy Finn is with you, it must've been a no-brainer to understand the move" Sarah stated, wondering just how long it would take for there to be another wedding for the Shelbies to attend. "You happy with him? Comfortable and all that?"

"Yeah" Addie replied, a bit too enthusiastically. "I am, I truly am. I just... I'm worried about him"

"Worried? Is he using again?" Sarah asked, more than a bit alarmed. Surely Finn wouldn't... he wouldn't... would he?

"No, no, he's not. It's uh... Please promise me you won't say anything?"

"Of course" Sarah assured, feeling a bit less nervous now that she was sure drugs were not involved. "What's going on?"

"I uh... don't know how to say it, but... I want to... to be intimate with him, I guess. And we tried once, but... he couldn't go through with it; he told me he couldn't do to me what he'd done to other girls" Addie whispered, hoping and praying Sarah would understand, and wouldn't laugh at her, or at Finn. "I told him that it's different, because I want to, whereas they were just getting paid"

"Which is true" 

"It is. Not for him, though. And I do not resent him, at all, I love him, and if we never... if we never... if we never get there, then so be it; but I don't want him to live with the burdens he's living with" Addie almost cried, frustrated at her own inability to do something, to heal Finn, to give him back the happiness and the innocence he'd lost. 

"Sweetheart, I understand what you mean. But you know Finn had... still has... a lot on his mind, and on his shoulders too. After what he went through, with his brothers pushing prostitutes onto him, trying to make him a man in their image. I can't even imagine the things Finn felt like he had to do to be like his brothers" Sarah countered, pretty sure she didn't want to think about what those things had been, but Addie surely was privy to them. "That's where him and Isaiah are different: Isaiah slept around 'cause he was bored, and 'cause he wanted to; Finn did it 'cause Tommy did it, and Arthur too. Deep down, I feel like Finn is the kind of kid who would absolutely save himself for marriage, or at the very least for the girl he fell in love with"

"Oh" Addie let out, blushing a little. She truly had never even thought of discussing that subject with anyone but Finn, and even though Sarah was easy to talk to, it wasn't exactly comfortable. "I uh... I think maybe he just needs some time? To come to terms with... his past, I guess?"

"I'd say so" Sarah nodded, biting the inside of her cheek. "Have you?"

"Have I wha... oh. Oh god. I uh..." Addie stuttered, blushing even more violently, biting down on her lower lip, and grasping at the handle of her small bag. "No, never. We... we've done... but not..."

"None of my business, I'm sorry I asked" Sarah quickly replied, trying mightily not to laugh. She truly just found the importance those kids attributed to sex to be humorous, but sweet in an old-fashioned way. "You know there's no pressure, right? No reason why you should do it, just because you think you should"

"I do want to, though" Addie assured, her eyes blown wide. "I truly do, and I'm not waiting for anything either. I know I love Finn, and that's all I need. I don't want to pressure hm, though" 

"I don't know if you want my advice, but here it is anyway: you're young, you're in love, and you've years ahead of you to figure things out. I reckon Finn needs his time, needs to come into his own, and your support will be greatly appreciated. You'll see that sooner or later, it'll happen when you least expect it, so try not to overthink it" Sarah counseled, already preparing herself mentally for the question that would surely follow. 

"Should I be worried? Or is there anything I need to do?" Addie predictably asked, looking up at Sarah, who was a bit taller than her, and who wore shoes with a bit of a heel to them. 

"No, not really! You do need to think whether you want to use contraceptives, but other than that, there's nothing to worry about" 

"I'm sorry to ask, but how do I... or where do I..." Addie hesitated, not knowing how to be blunt; she did want children, and Finn did too, but it would probably be better to discuss the matter further, and make sure any babies would be planned and prepared for. "Do you... you know..."

Sarah had about enough of that hesitation, and in good time as well, since they were just passing by the chemist's. Sarah happened to be good friends with the chemist's daughter, who was also an enthusiast of women's health and the new waves of feminism. Lacey, a tall, lanky girl with prodigious chocolate hair and deep-caramel skin, had come with her parents from Barbados, and set up shop in the high street, selling medicine and other kinds of solutions for ailments, including those not generally known to the general public. 

"Lacey, this is Addie. Addie, this is Lacey, she's my friend, and she knows a lot about these things" Sarah announced, seeing the elegant figure behind the counter. 

"Hi Addie! You're Finn Shelby's girl, eh?" Lacey asked, a big smile emerging from her lips, showing her perfect white teeth, and a kind sparkle in her eyes. 

"I uh... how do you know that?" Addie asked, looking around the shop. "Did anyone..."

"Dear Polly Gray, yeah. She's close with my old lady, eh? And told her all about his nephew and his girl" Lacey stated, happily getting up from her chair and going around the counter. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. What brings you here?"

"You still have any of those rubbers? The one for us, not the one for men" Sarah asked, searching in her purse for something, which turned out to be a list of herbs. "And I need these"

"Well, the rubbers I still have, of both varieties" Lacey informed, taking the piece of paper and looking around, reaching for a couple of tins. "This your first one, honey?"

"Yes, it is. Rubber?" Addie asked, fully fascinated by the elegance of the chemist's girl. She had the most beautiful skin and luxurious curly hair, which grew out of her head and framed it perfectly. 

"One of these" Sarah asked, retrieving a small dome-shaped piece of the material, with a thick edge. "Don't worry, I washed it. You put it inside you, and it prevents pregnancy"

"I can't give you hundred percent effectiveness, but... better than nothing" Lacey added, handing Sarah two paper bags with mysterious contents, before diving underneath the counter and retrieving a cardboard box, which she opened to reveal some white cotton pouches. "Like Sarah here said: make sure it's inside you when you have intercourse, and place it like this" 

Lacey took one of the pouches, opened it, and showed Addie an object just like the one Sarah had, pinched it between her two fingers, and then released it, in the same position of a bowl of soup over a flat surface. Sarah nodded, along, thanking every single angel in Heaven for the invention of that little device, and praying for the day when no woman had an unplanned child, having to give up on her life, or on her health. 

"I know it looks difficult, but it's really quite easy" Lacey concluded, putting the rubber back in its pouch and handing it to Addie, who was looking at it in disbelief. "And hey: if you have any issues, or any questions, or if an accident happens, you come straight to me or Sarah, eh?" 

"Wow, thank you" Addie whispered, still transfixed by the pouch in her hand. "Do I need to eventually change it, or..."

"Pop it in some boiling water, to clean it up, and after you've had intercourse too. Don't soak it, just pop it in and out" Sarah informed, checking her watch and reckoning they needed to get gong before Finn and Isaiah started wondering where they were. "These last what? Three months? Lacey gets them every month, so there shouldn't be an issue" 

"And we do hold some family planning and sexual health meetings over at the church. Pastor Jesus is laid back about it" Lacey informed, hopping over to her chair behind the wooden counter, and seating down again. "Come over when you can, Sarah will tell you the times" 

"Thank you, really, this is more precious than gold" Addie finally smiled, able to get past her shock and simply basking in her good luck. 

"No worries, sweetie. Good to see you" Lacey said, as they said their goodbyes. 

* * *

Finn looked out the window of his bedroom, now their bedroom. Sharing a space was not new to him, as he had always done so with his brothers. But now, it was his choice to share it, to offer his space to someone else, someone who made everything warmer and cheered him up every morning. 

"You alright there?" he heard Addie asking from behind him, before her arms wrapped around his mid-section. "Something wrong?"

"Absolutely not, especially not now" Finn replied, turning around and picking Addie all the way up, her legs around his torso, so that he could kiss her lips and cheeks. "You smell nice"

"Oh, thank you! You do too" Addie countered, being lowered onto the bed, sitting down on its edge while Finn got rid of his clothes, and changed into his pajamas. "I went with Sarah to pick the fabrics for her wedding dress"

"Oh yeah? She's wearing white, I hope?"

"Ivory, which for men is the same as white. Pretty sure Isaiah won't be able to tell the difference" Addie laughed, changing into her nightgown as well. "Anyway, she's going to look beyond gorgeous, I can't wait for the fitting"

"No kidding" the youngest Shelby added, getting into bed and spreading his arms so that Addie could cuddle into his chest. "I should also drag Isaiah to a tailor, and get myself a suit too. What colour are you wearing?"

"I was thinking periwinkle, but it's not set in stone" she informed, unsure of whether she should tell Finn about the visit to the chemist's or not. Would Sarah and Lacey resent her for telling him about the rubber? Or maybe she didn't have to involve them, she could just say she'd gotten it, without any further details. After all, it was something that concerned the both of them: she would have no use for the thingy if Finn wasn't involved. However, would it be pushing the subject? Would he take it as added pressure?

"I can do a periwinkle tie, or a pocket square" he mused, looking up at the ceiling. "Dark grey? White shirt? I reckon Isaiah might do black... or maybe he'll do dark grey, in which case..."

"He could do more of a lighter grey, and you could do dark grey" Addie suggested, playing with the top button of Finn's shirt, and undoing it, allowing her fingernail to graze the freckled skin. There wasnt a single bit of his skin that she hadn't seen, multiple times even, but the good lord knew she couldn't get enough of it. "Whatever you wear, I'm sure I'll like it"

"Tell me about it, you in periwinkle? Divine" Finn chuckled, leaning over to kiss her lips, allowing his tongue to find hers, his body to gently topple on top of hers. "You in this nightgown? Perfection"

"I love you" 

"I love you more" 


	23. Ezekiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

No one could make the mistake to say Jeremiah Jesus was not a progressive man: he'd been to war, he'd seen and done irreparable things, and he'd turned to God in his moment of most dire need. Given this, he wasn't about to judge others on their faith, beliefs, ethnicity, or whatever else it was, as long as it didn't hurt anyone. He even went as far and being lenient with his future daughter-in-law's feminine meetings in the rectory, where a bunch of women of all ages discussed matters he'd rather die than to listen. As for his own son, Isaiah had always had the freedom to bring girls home, without being called out on it, or scolded. 

But, God was his witness, even Jeremiah had to draw a line. And enough was enough: it was seven in the fucking morning. 

"Shit, oh my god..." Jeremiah could hear his own flesh and blood moan, and damn it, no father should ever have to hear anything of the sort, let alone in a crescendo as he got closer to the door. 

In a swift move, the preacher decided to kick the door with all his strength, trying to make sure both Isaiah and Sarah got scared and shut the hell up. However, the door didn't quite hold the blow, and the offended party ended up on the floor of his son's bedroom, much to the surprise of the two occupants. 

"Mr. Jesus, are you alright?" Sarah cried, the tears immediately coming to her eyes upon seeing her much loved father in law extended on the ground. 

"Dad, what the hell?" Isaiah asked, helping his old man up and making him sit on a nearby chair. 

"You two need to shut the fuck up" Jeremiah was able to say, still trying to comprehend why the damn door didn't withstand his charge. What was more, he would like to understand how come the two kids were fully clothed, and didn't even seem embarrassed. 

"Shit, sorry, didn't mean to wake you up, but I pulled something in my arm, and Sarah was trying to get it... fuck, you thought we were... dad, what the fuck? You kicked down the fucking door 'cause you thought we were fucking? Are you serious?" Isaiah let out in disbelief. 

"Didn't mean to kick down the door" jeremiah responded, as Sarah's tears went from shocked to plain amusement. "What do you mean you pulled something in your arm?"

"Some lad at the match yesterday decided he wanted to take his team's loss too seriously" the young Jesus boy informed, wincing in pain as he tried to move his arm. "Tried to punch Finn in the face, but I got to him on time" 

"Fair enough" the preacher said, getting up from the chair and straightening his clothes. "I apologise" 

"No need, it's alright, really" Sarah assured, still crying from trying not to laugh too loud. "You sure you're alright?"

"I am, yes. I'll see you two later" Jeremiah excused himself, and left the bedroom, careful enough to lift up the door and return it to its hinges. 

Sarah and Isaiah exchanged a look before bursting into hysterical laughter, as silently as they could. The one time they were not having sex was the only time Jeremiah thought they were, and it just did it for the two of them, tears falling down their cheeks from laughing so hard their stomachs hurt. That whole episode was, by far, the funniest thing that had ever happened to either of them, and there was no way any of their friends would believe them if they were to recount the whole thing. 

"Imagine... just imagine... imagine he really had... imagine I was... just imagine..." Isaiah was trying to say how awkward the whole thing would've been if they really were doing what his dad thought they were doing, but Sarah didn't need him to actually put the thought into full sentences to understand what he meant. 

"No, please don't... don't make me think about that" Sarah giggled, having to lay down on top of their bed to not pass out. "Isaiah, you're such a wimp, it's just a pulled muscle and you were literally yelling"

"It hurts" her fiancé scoffed, going to join her, still laughing way too hard to function. "I do love my dad, but I swear..."

"I love him too, I was so scared when he fell in here" she was able to get out, before laughing uncontrolably again. "I need to get myself together, I've got my dress fitting today"

"Can I come along?"

"That's bad luck" Sarah protested, sitting up and looking for her shoes. "You can't see anything before the wedding"

"Nothing? Like, nothing at all?" Isaiah asked, scooting behind Sarah and wrapping his arms and legs around her, engulfing her completely so she couldn't leave. "We saving ourselves for marriage?"

"Oh yeah, didn't you hear? We absolutely are" Sarah laughed, trying to get away and failing. "This is entrapment, I'm going to the police"

"Please don't, I've priors, I don't want to go to jail" Isaiah begged, pouting into her neck and tickling her skin. "Don't know if you've heard, but I'm getting married in two weeks, I can't do it in prison"

"Too bad, I'll just have to marry some other handsome petty criminal" she shrugged, smiling mischieviously. "I'll save you a piece of wedding cake, though"

"Who you calling a petty criminal, girl? Eh?" he protested, running his hands up her thighs, and predictably getting to her stomach, without being met with any kind of opposition. "No way I'm going to miss our wedding, and no way in hell I'm going to miss the wedding night"

"See, if we had actually saved ourselves for marriage, the wedding night would be a novelty" 

"I don't know about you, but I could have my hands right here..." Isaiah replied, whispering in her ear, bypassing her knickers and bringing her to him even closer, all the while applying torturing pressure on her "...for the rest of my fucking life, I'd be the happiest bloke in the world"

"Just your hands?"

"Just my hands, yeah" he assured, making sure to show Sarah just how much his hands were enough, for the both of them. 

* * *

The subject wasn't the easiest to approach, but Addie did a good job of introducing it: she had said it wasn't a matter of pressure, it wasn't anything other than an information; she wanted to let her partner know that she wanted to stay by his side, regardless of how physical he wanted to be. If he did decide he wanted to go all the way, she would be ready. Granted, it hadn't been her choice to bring up the whole visit to the chemist's: Finn ahd found the rubber in her purse, when he dropped the bag and all the contents came out. 

"So that's why I didn't say anything: I didn't want to pressure you into it" Addie informed, fussing with the hem of her dress. "I'd be ready if you ever were, but it wouldn't be my initiative"

Finn was silent, eyes on her, and then down on the floor, and then on the device she was holding. He'd never seen one, but it meant one thing: safety, and the possibility of starting a family on their own terms, on their own time, when they had the best conditions to raise a baby. Furthermore, it meant that Addie still wanted him, despite his mortifying ordeal with coming to terms with that very fact. 

"I love you" he whispered, so silently not even he heard it. 

"Huh?" 

"I love you" Finn repeated, his voice much louder now, so that Addie could hear him loud and clear. 

"I love you too, but..."

The sentence was cut off, and luckily so, because Addie didn't know what she was going to say. Finn kissed her with such ferocity it would've hurt, but it didn't, it could never hurt, simply because his mouth felt entirely too good on hers for it to ever be bad in any capacity. 

"You want me?"

"I do"

"You want this. You're sure you want this" he asked, hands on her shoulders, eyes piercing holes through hers. 

"Yes, I am, I really am"

"You promise"

"I promise" Addie nodded, her uncertainty growing by the second: was Finn under the influence of something? Was he alright? Had he gone mad?

It didn't help that Finn proceeded to solemnly nod, hands in his pockets, looking so lost in his own head it was concerning. But then the skies cleared, and so did his irises, as he came to the only logical conclusion: he had overcome addiction, he had overcome near death, and he had done things he wasn't proud of, but that had happened, and hence were part of his story, but needn't be part of him, needn't be clouds on otherwise clear weather. If he just looked, if he truly opened his eyes and looked at the girl standing in front of him, he could only come to one conclusion: nothing with her would ever compare to the past, nothing with her could ever be as the things he'd done before. The past could no longer own him, his brothers could no longer own him, because he was hers, because it was Addie who had single ownership of the man he'd become, and she was far from anything he'd ever experienced. 

"We do this on your terms" he ended up saying, finally looking at her again, which allowed her to at least breathe. "And if I hurt you, Addie... you tell me, right away, and it stops. You hear me? You need to promise me you'll tell me to stop if it hurts, or if you change your mind"

"Of course, I promise" she responded, knowing damn well she wouldn't want him to stop, not even if it hurt, and she wouldn't change her mind. Besides, how could it hurt, if he'd had his fingers inside her and it was nothing short of blissful?

"Alright. Alright. That's... yeah. Yeah" Finn let out, thoroughly breathless and blushing all over. "Fuck yeah, I love you. For real"

"I love you too. For real"

It really didn't matter that the window was slightly open, letting in the coldest night air; what did matter was her body on his, her thighs snug against either side of him, the depth of those green eyes, and the sounds she let out. It was a miracle they'd been able to get out of their clothes, the urgency seemingly too great to even bother with that, but the need spoke louder than speed. And, sure enough, he kissed her, and she kissed him, in a way that surpassed all other kisses, in a rapture that would last ages.

Not even the rubber posed an issue, further reinforcing what Addie already knew: it wouldn't hurt, and every step they took make her more sure, instead of less confident. Even more interesting was the fact that Finn, although with the best intentions in the world, felt her push his hand away. It did cross his mind to ask her about it, but one look at Addie and he knew what she meant.

In the end, Finn was pratically sure he would never be able to leave that bed, or to let that woman out of his sight. At first, once he was fully inside her, seeing the way her lips quivered, was hypnotising, and was only surpassed by the brutal earthquake of bliss she imposed on him, straddling him, rehearsing how to move up and down. His only demand was that she let him stare at her, not caring what she did, not caring what happened to him, knowing that this amount of pleasure was more than he could take, more than he could comprehend. 


	24. Daniel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW babes

Time went by, and it went by fast, but neither Finn nor Addie realised it. They had stopped for food and water, but if anyone asked, they wouldn't be able to say when it had happened, or how they managed to grab supplies. What they could speak about, and at length, was the reason why they hadn't been out of the house in nearly three days. Long story short, it was like one of those situations where you had to push a car to get it going, not being able to stop it once the motor was running. There were, of course, major differences, the first one being that no car had Addie Foster's body, stamina, beauty, sweetness, or warmth. Finn was still trying to come to terms with those qualities, he was trying to wrap his head around that level of perfection allowing him to have her.

"Five seconds? For a bathroom break?" 

"Please don't leave"

"I'm not leaving! I honestly just have to pee. I'm not running out the door, I've no clothes on" Addie chuckled, trying to wiggle out of the strong hold Finn had on her, with his arms and legs around her smaller figure. 

"Five seconds. Promise?" Finn asked, hating the idea of letting go, hating the idea of Addie being cold on her way to the bathroom, and on her way back under the safe and warm covers. "And please take something with you, a blanket, anything. It's cold out" 

"Alright" she conceded, grabbing a nearby blanket and wrapping herself in it, before winking at Finn and walking to the bathroom. It took her less than a minute, but it was still too long for Finn, who had started to whine by the time his beloved got back to the bedroom. "See? I was super quick" 

"Felt like a century" he protested, lifting the covers and only resting when she was back in his arms. "Everything alright?"

"Everything great. You?"

"I'm uh... I'm doing... I'm phenomenal, thanks for asking" Finn chuckled, fully kissing her on the lips, and sliding his hands down to her backside, to adjust her on his torso. "I might be drunk, I think we might've had too much sex"

"I'd like to say I don't feel slightly groggy" Addie agreed, giggling lazily, busying herself by tracing imaginary patterns using the freckles on his chest. "Well, we'll eventually have to stop, for Sarah and Isaiah's wedding"

"I guess so, yeah. When do you go back to work?"

"I don't really know, actually. Since the paper got new owners, I get my salary but they say they still don't want to go back to printing. Which is odd, but maybe they're just changing the equipment?" she mused, having decided not to care too much about the ins and outs of businesses. Whoever it was that bought her place of work, one thing was for certain: they couldn't be worse than the old owners, who had her working until she couldn't feel her limbs. 

"Ah yeah, that's fair" he replied, none the wiser about the situation either. "Doesn't matter, work is not important right now. You know what is, though?"

"What?"

"Do I need to say it?" Finn asked, fingers lightly running up her spine, lips capturing hers. 

"Say it" Addie urged, biting her lower lip, holding his gaze. "Come on, say it. You're a big boy, you can ask for what you want, can't you?"

"Are you big enough to take it, though?" he asked in return, flipping them over and taking both her legs, making sure they were spread as wide as possible under his torso, shins grazing his ribs. 

"I can take it" she responded, going against every single one of her instincts by not biting her lip or close her eyes when he slid into her. "Prove me wrong"

She did have nerve, didn't she? Fine, Finn thought, let her have it her way: he'd show her he was a man, not a boy, and would make her realise just how wrong she was by assuming she could take it. Forget the love-making, this was different, it was... well, it was downright animalistic, eh? Addie was fighting it, she fought with all she had not to give in, but when it was all said and done, she had to cave. 

Well, they both did. It was just how it was. The name of the game, if you will. 

* * *

Tommy had called Isaiah into his study, pulling him away from the ongoing football match. The younger man had no idea what he'd done wrong, but one thing was for sure: being called by Tommy Shelby was never a good thing. 

"Isaiah, I need to know how come my brother Finn hasn't been seen for three days" Tommy asked, lighting a cigar. "Neither him, nor Adaline Foster. Should we worry?"

"No, don't worry about them. I wouldn't be surprised if gained a new nephew or niece, though" Isaiah chuckled, looking around the bookcases and paintings on the wall. His house was modest, that was true, but seeing such luxury made him come to terms with his simpler taste. 

"Hm" Tommy replied, a mix of a scoff and a chuckle leaving his lips. "She's got him quite smitten" 

"Addie? She sure does, but he's got her the same" the preacher's son countered. "Also, I want to thank you again, for what you did for me and Sarah. Getting..."

"It was nothing" Tommy interrupted, waving his cigar-holding hand in dismissal. "I called you here to tell you something, a message I need you to relay to your fiancé, miss Sarah Williams" 

"A message?"

"Tell her I've gotten word that a few of her parents' disciples know about her whereabouts. So she needs to be careful" Tommy dryly informed, apparently indiferent to the panic those words caused in Isaiah, whose heart went from steady to beating violently in his throat. "I don't think they'll try anything, but they're uh... a rowdy bunch, that's what my London contacts say"

"I uh... I... I need permission to stay with her, to protect her" the young man ended up saying, having to clear his throat multiple times to get those sentences out. "Our we... our wedding is in..."

"I know. Work from the betting shop from now on, and take her there with you. As for those classes she teaches, she needs to stop until the air is clearer"

"Why now? It's been so long, why didn't they do anything before?" Isaiah asked, almost willing to question Tommy, in an attempt to discredit any threat. 

"They've come from Canada. Seems like the Williams' made their church a lot of money, and now that it's dried off... they're not happy" Tommy spoke as he roamed around one of his desk drawers for something, which turned out to be a small pistol, and ammunition to match. He handed it over to Isaiah, who knew by instinct who the weapon was for. "Give her this, teach her how to shoot, and make damn sure she stays alive, you hear me?"

"Yes, of course" Isaiah assured, taking the gun and hiding it in his coat pocket. "Thank you"

"You're welcome, boy. Now go, and don't let her leave your fucking sight, eh?"

* * *

Sarah Williams herself was going over plan lessons, in the peace of the Jesus residence, Jeremiah by her side, working on a sermon. They both looked up when Isaiah entered, and Sarah even started to smile, only to lose it halfway through, due to the worry in her fiancé's face. 

"What happened? What is it, are you alright?" Sarah asked, getting up quickly. 

"Tommy called me into his office, to tell me that some people from your church made the way from Canada, because your parents..."

"My parents stopped sending money, and they've come to find out why" Sarah completed, unable to form a coherent thought that didn't include the people she was talking about. "Fuck"

"He gave me this, to give to you" Isaiah continued, after nodding in confirmation, and handing her the pistol. "I need to teach you how to use it, and..."

"No, you don't" she interrupted him again, bending over, and retrieving a revolver from her boot. "I don't need that one, either"

Truth be told, Isaiah had been so shaken by the news he didn't even remember Sarah carried a gun with her at all times, ever since before they'd met. In a perfect world, his girl wouldn't have to pack a revolver, Isaiah thought, but it was not a perfect world they lived in. Unfortunately, Sarah's parents still had a grip on their daughter's life, and it was absolutely ridiculous that they still hadn't been able to end the fucking problem, once and for all. In any case, if the fanatics came to Birmingham, they'd be dead, and maybe then the nightmare would be over. 

"I'll be working at the betting shop from now on, and Tommy told me to bring you. It's the safest place in Birmingham, and they'll not be able to find you without us finding them first" Isaiah added, finally calm enough to stop and admire the tenacity and calm of his love. Like he'd told her, each day he loved her more, each day she showed him how amazing she was, and there was no way anyone could hurt a hair on her head. 

"Love, I can take care of myself" Sarah protested, looking out the window to see the shades of red the sunset provided. "I can still teach, if someone comes to the church, I'll have my..."

"Absolutely not. I understand how upsetting it must be to not do your job, but you need to stay protected by the Blinders" Jeremiah interrupted, retrieving a shotgun from the fireplace mantle and checking if it was loaded. "Tommy is right, you need to stay at the betting shop during the day, and I'm sure some of the Lees could camp out around here, to make sure there are no attacks during the night"

"I couldn't possibly ask for that much work, it's probably just an empty threat" Sarah dismissed, not really believing in her own words, but even less inclined to allow anyone to form a private guard for her. 

"Empty threat or not, you're family to us, which means you're family for the Blinders. Anything that needs to be done, will be done" Isaiah assured, as his dad nodded in agreement. "So, does that revolver have ammo? Do we need to get some?"

"I have some, but I could always use some backup" Sarah ended up saying, ighing in defeat. It looked like she was under siege, yet again. 


	25. Hosea

It goes without saying that the bride looked like she had descended from high heavens onto the city of Birmingham. With very light makeup, a veil over her simple hairstyle, and a custom-made dress, she was a vision, and anyone who crossed paths with her would agree. Her groom, looking dapper in a navy suit, walked circles outside of the chosen temple, wondering exactly where she was, fully convinced Sarah had left him for good, and refused to show up at their wedding. 

"You need to calm down, mate" Finn said, but it was useless: Isaiah was about to lose his mind. 

"She's gone, Finn, she's really gone. She couldn't bare the thought of marrying me, could she? Fuck, I..." 

It was during this passionate diatribe that the chauffeur and the car assigned to take the bride to her own wedding arrived, but instead of the back door opening to reveal the long-awaited vision on white, the driver's door opened, and a dead body fell from the inside. 

"What the fuck was that?" Isaiah asked, running to the car and opening all the doors, searching for Sarah. Finn did the same, but once the both of them came to the conclusion that there was no one inside the car, panic set in: Finn ran inside the church to get Tommy and Arthur, while Isaiah turned the driver's body around, and searched his pockets for a note, or something of the sort. 

"I'm going to call my house, to see if her or Adaline are there" Jeremiah suggested, going inside the church, where they had a phone in the back. 

"Shit, shit, we should never have let them come without security" Arthur let out, already fully convinced the two girls had been taken. "Tom, I'm going to Jeremiah's house. Finn, you're with me" 

The two men departed quickly, even before the preacher came back from calling the house. Tommy Shelby joined Isaiah in their search for any clues the car may contain, and both were rewarded with a note on the inside of the driver's coat. 

_Mr. Isaiah Jesus:_

_We are sorry to ruin your wedding day, but believe us: this is for the better of us all. Sarah Williams is a dangerous traitor of faith, and put her honourable parents in prison, where they cannot continue their work. For that, she has to die, and we will take that task onto our own hands. Although you are well-connected, and might try to get her back, there is no need to worry yourself with that. By the time you get this, she will be dead._

It was the most difficult thing Isaiah had to do: read the note until the end, keeping his composure, and trying to keep in mind that it was most likely a lie, that Sarah wasn't dead, she couldn't be. He knew, he somehow knew he would feel it if she died. Moreover, the venomous little piece of writing had gotten one thing absolutely right: he was well-connected, and his connection had a habit of being able to find whatever it was they were looking for. After he finished, he handed it over to Tommy, who read it as well, brow furrowing with each word. Then, he turned to Johnny Dogs, who was nearby.

"Gather your family, take every road that departs from Birmingham" the head of the Shelby company ordered, being obeyed with not even a peep. "Charlie, do me a favour, and take some lads with you, search every abandonned property around this town" 

"What should I do?" Isaiah asked, full of so much nervous energy he felt like he would explode without any delay. "Tell me what to do, please" 

"Go to your house, see if she was able to leave some indication of where they took her" Tommy replied, not knowing what else to tell the kid. "It'll be alright, lad, we'll find her before nightfall" 

* * *

Poor Addie had, fortunately, not been taken, but had been cruelly bound to a chair. By the time Finn and Arthur got to her, she was already covered in blood, having tried as hard as she could to evade the ropes she'd been tied with, and pursue the kidnappers. 

"Shit, are you alright? Addie, are you ok?" the youngest Shelby asked, frantically getting a knife from the kitchen and trying to cut the thick ropes that imprisioned his sweetheart. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, but Sarah... a bunch of people took her, I'd say about six or seven, men and women" Addie informed, swallowing her tears, and trying to sound as coherent as she could. "I've no idea where they took her, but I do know that one of them smelled a lot like rum and dust" 

"Rum and dust? Could they have been at the warehouses by the cut?" Finn asked his older brother, who was already halfway to the phone, trying to reach the church, where his brother Tommy would still be. 

"That's what I thought too" Addie confirmed, only then realising she had friction wounds all over her arms and shins, and that they hurt like hell. "They said something about killing her, too"

"No, of course they won't, we'll get to them before they lay a hand on her" Arthur tried to sound comforting, but he wasn't too sure that he was telling the truth. It was then that a frantic Isaiah burst through the front door, almost kicking it down. 

"Is she here?" he pointlessly asked his best friend, only to receive a negative answer. "Fuck" 

"Jeremiah, get Tom on the phone" Arthur said somewhere in the background, as both Finn and Isaiah worked to cut the ropes around the young woman. "Tom, Addie says they smelled like rum and dust, so get someone to the fucking warehouses, right now" 

"The warehouses?" Isaiah echoed, before going out the door once again, more or less like a tornado, and causing the same devastating effects. The last thing they heard was the sound of his motorcycle coming to life, and being pushed to its limits. 

"Finn, go, go with him" Addie encouraged, her arms already free, allowing her to work on her legs by herself. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course, bring her back" 

* * *

The warehouse was a whole complex of old mining storage, which the Shelbies now used as a place to keep the rum and other things they needed to move within the UK. As Addie had said, it was full of rum and dust, and it would be easy for someone who spent an hour or two inside the complex to smell like its contents. When Finn got there, Tommy and Charlie Strong were already there, as well as some of the other Blinders, weapons in hand, the smell of gunpowder in the air. 

"What the hell happened? Was she in here? Is she alive, what happened?" Finn asked, frantic as all hell, trying to see his best friend, and trying to make sure they wouldn't have to mourn instead of celebrate. 

"She sure was here, lad, she sure was" Charlie replied, confusing Finn with the smile he had on his lips. 

"Why are you... what the fuck happened here?" 

"I think maybe you should look for yourself, but uh... prepare yourself" Charlie informed, taking off his cap and chuckling. 

Finn felt as if he was high, like his legs were of no use, and that if he stopped walking he would fall to the ground, and pass out. His one goal was to find Isaiah, to find his best friend, his brother, and to make sure Sarah was alive and well, that she could come home, or, better yet, that she could go through with the wedding. In a way, he got exactly what he wanted: Sarah was alive, she was right there, breathing, in the middle of the complex. Isaiah stood by her side, and their height difference was not even that noticeable. 

Nothing was, not against that scenario: the two figures, one in pure white, the other dressed in navy, standing against a scenario composed of blood spatter, bullets, and corpses. 

"Sarah..."

"It's handled. They won't be a threat anymore" the pastor's daughter replied, refusing to look away from the absolute carnage surrounding her. "They ruined my wedding day, but they won't ruin anything else"

"You alright?" Finn ended up asking, after managing to keep his stomach under control. "Did anyone hurt you?"

"No, no, I'm alright, thank you" she assured, finally turning around and facing Finn, looking as angelic as ever. Not even her dress had a drop of blood on it, let alone her elegant heels or her skin. "My love, would you marry me now?"

"Absolutely, let's go" Isaiah replied, lighting a cigarette with all the patience in the world, inhaling, and then chucking it to the floor, which immediately ignited fierce flames, engulfing the bodies on the floor with impressive quickness. 

* * *

As strange as it seemed, and as insane as the idea was, Finn and Addie quickly realized that neither Sarah nor Isaiah let the kidnapping affect them. In fact, they not only made it through the entire wedding ceremony with smiles on their faces, but kissed when Jeremiah allowed them to like it was the last thing either of them would ever do. Only when the wedding party headed to Shelby manor to celebrate did an explanation come. 

"I don't think they were expecting me to have a gun, or to wear my holster on my wedding day. But you can never be too careful, right?" Sarah explained, taking a sip of the champagne Isaiah had given her. She looked every shade of radiant, her happiness to finally be married to the man she loved shining through like a lighthouse. As for her husband, who already had a hard time looking away from his beloved before, was hypnotised by her, following her with his eyes, or taking her hand, or wrapping an arm around her waist. 

"So you... you killed them all, and you still... you still..." Addie stuttered, not sure if she wanted to say what she was thinking. It was not even mildly rational to go ahead with a wedding after being taken, and killing a handful of men, but neither Sarah nor Isaiah looked to be affected by what had happened. In fact, they couldn't look happier. 

"I'm done with my life being stalled by those idiots. I am absolutely done with it all" Sarah hissed, suddenly turning the atmosphere around her dark and heavy. "They will no longer bother me, or make me feel unsafe, or threaten my family. I'm done. I did what needed to be done" 

"It's uh... you're really brave" Addie praised, not sure what else to say. It was an interesting and unorthodox choice, but, from where Sarah stood, it was reasonable to not let anything ruin her happiness. She had already been through so much, it would most likely drive her insane if she didn't make an enormous effort to forget and move on with her life. 

"Meh, I do what needs doing to keep myself and those I love out of harm" Sarah stated, going back to her normal self, laying her head on Isaiah's shoulder, using his presence as a shield against the evil she'd seen, and the things she'd done. Everything would be fine, she would work and fight to let go of all the bad, to focus on the good, on spreading the blessings she had. Besides, the cult her parents belonged to and helped start was now dead and burnt down, so no more widows would be ripped off, and no more families would lose everything. If there were scales of justice, they were now pending toward the good, with a lot less criminals on the loose, getting ready to prey on the inocent. 


	26. Joel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Tommy Shelby had a soft spot for love, especially when the two lovebirds were young. Initially, Isaiah had asked for a day off the matches and the betting shop, one day only, the one after his wedding, But Tommy, trying to be fair, decided to surprise the boy and his new wife. 

"I'd like to suggest everyone raise their glasses to celebrate the newlyweds" the head of Shelby company said, raising his own glass of whisky with a smile on his lips. "And Isaiah, as a reward for choosing such a remarkable woman as your wife, feel free to take the week off, go to Brighton, and don't come back without making damn sure we'll be celebrating a christening in nine months" 

Sarah had laughed, Isaiah had laughed too, and the both of them thanked Tommy profusely, barely believing the week was theirs, away from Birmingham, near the sea, just the two of them. And, when the week was over, they'd come back to the city where they fell in love, where their family was. 

As for the christening...

"I feel like I'm... Like I'm not going to get my breath back" Isaiah panted, falling on the mattress heavily. 

"Me either" Sarah replied, equally out of breath, a big smile on her face. "Are you sure about it?"

"About what?"

"About the baby" she asked, laying on her stomach, drawing random shapes on her husband's chest, and letting him pull her on top of him. "About us, having one" 

"I'm only sure about it if you are. You know I would never force you to have a child if you didn't want one" he responded, kissing the top of her head, and inhaling her scent, counting each and every one of his blessings. 

"I do want one. I just needed to be sure, before I toss this" Sarah stated, holding up her diaphragm. "I've no idea how long it will take, though" 

"Like I give a damn" Isaiah whispered, kissing her lips, her cheeks, and every bit of her he could reach. "I'm more than happy to try until we get there" 

"That right, mister?" 

"That absolutely right, miss. Shit, no, you're not a miss anymore, are you? You're mrs. Jesus" Isaiah proudly said, as if she needed to be reminded of her change in last name. 

"Mrs. Jesus doesn't sound that bad" Sarah agreed, letting her husband kiss her all he wanted, wishing they could just stay like that forever. 

* * *

There was a box. The box, although small in size, was huge in significance, and Finn knew that, although it wouldn't change much in practice, it would change everything at the same time. But nothing would change if he didn't get the guts to ask, nothing would be different if Addie didn't agree, if she didn't... 

If she didn't say yes. 

And of course, of course she walked through the door, looking gorgeous, looking every bit as amazing as she always did, and Finn realized that he was next to nothing without her, without that love. 

"Hey! I brought some scones, I reckoned you'd like to have them while they're still warm" Addie cheerily said, setting the paper bag on the table. 

"Wow, thank you, that's... they smell amazing" Finn responded, looking inside the bag. As per usual, Addie went to the kitchen to have a glass of water, before coming back into the living room and kissing Finn, who refused to let her go. 

"You alright?" she asked, feeling him trembling ever so slightly. He looked nervous too, now that she looked closer. "Love, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing wrong, I'm fine, it's... it's really just... I uh... You know what, I'm going to just do it, alright? I'm just going to ask you, and if the answer is no, then so be it" Finn stuttered, confusing Addie completely. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You know I love you, right? Beyond anything, above anything. And uh... and I uh..." Finn hesitated, reaching for the small box and opening it, to get the ring that was inside. "I guess this in't the most romantic way to ask you, but it's home, it's our home, and I love you so much" 

"Finn... are you... oh my god" Addie let out, covering her mouth with her hands, in absolute disbelief. She could barely see through her tears, but she could make out enough to know Finn was right there, holding a ring, about to cry, just like her. 

"I love you, and I would... Will you marry me? Please?" he ended up getting out, extending the ring to her. "Take as much time as you need, I don't need an answer now. With my family, with what we do, I understand if..." 

"Yes" Addie answered, before Finn could finish listing all the reasons marrying into the Shelby family was a bad idea. "Yes, of course" 

"Yes? Shit. Shit, holy fuck" Finn let out, letting the tears he had accumulated fall down his cheeks, as Addie did the same. "Thank you, I can't believe it, you said yes"

"I did, I did, of course I did, I love you" Addie sobbed, as Finn held her against his chest, allowing her to cry into his shirt, as he cried into her hair. 

"Wait, wait, your ring, the ring, I almost forgot" he frantically said, taking Addie's hand and sliding the ring onto her finger, holding her hand to admire the effect of the jewel. It fit perfectly, and it matched her skin tone as well. 

"You didn't need to get me a ring, it's too kind, really..." 

"I absolutely did need to get you a ring, what are you talking about?" Finn protested, kissing her knuckles, and her lips repeatedly. Truth be told, he wished he could kiss her forever, every second of every day. 

You better believe I picked a ring for them too lmao 


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to continue this lol sorry!!!!

"Engaged? Finn! Oh my god, congratulations!" Sarah squealed, throwing her arms around Finn, who was positively glowing. Addie was at work, but she would be sparkling with happiness too. "When did it happen?"

"You were still in Brighton, so last week" Finn informed, sitting down at the dinner table, and taking the cup of tea Sarah handed him, still fuming from the kettle. "I was so nervous, I forgot to get down on one knee and all that stuff, but Addie said yes, so... I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole thing. I'm so fucking... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that"

"That's alright, it's fine. You're so fucking...?"

"Happy. Excited. Scared" Finn admitted, smiling nervously and fiddling with his hands. "Will I be able to provide for her? Will I be able to be man enough for her? I love Addie so damn much, and it would honestly kill me not to give her a good life" 

"Oh honey, don't worry about that. Of course you'll be able to give her a good life" Sarah exclaimed, sitting in front of the young man and sipping on her own tea. "It's terrifying, but it's so worth it. I promise you, sweetie, everything will be alright"

"Did you... you didn't seem nervous at all to get married. And Isaiah wasn't either. Well, he was when you didn't arrive, but there was good reason to" he said, taking a deep breath. Why would a self-assured, self-made woman like Addie want to marry a guy who didn't even know how to deal with being engaged. Forever was the only option for him, he wanted Addie to be by his side for the rest of their lives. But under what conditions? They had a house, they both had somewhat steady incomes, and they were commited to each other. And somehow he felt inadequate, and with the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

"See, that's not true, actually. I was nervous as all hell. I remember telling Addie and that nice man who drove us there, God rest his soul, that I was about to throw up. I was so scared that Isaiah wasn't going to be there, that he'd given up on me, that he'd come to his senses and decided to run for the hills" Sarah chuckled, despite being teary-eyed. "I really don't want to cry, but I think that happens to everyone. We're in love with these extraordinary people, and it's easy to think that we're not enough, right? But hey, that's just your brain paying tricks on you. Don't go down that rabbit hole. Take a deep breath, and try to do the best you can to be the best you can be"

"Wouldn't be the first time my brain tried to undermine me" Finn replied, not used to seeing Sarah so vulnerable. As it turned out, she too had moments of weakness when it came to her relationship, and it made him feel a bit better. "Are you... are you happy you did it? The wedding, I mean"

"I am! I absolutely am. And I'm not just saying this to make you feel better; I'm being honest. Marriage is amazing, and it gives you this legitimacy. At least for me, it's better to go to the market or to the shops without having old ladies looking at me and commenting I was living in sin with the preacher's son" she laughed, fully back to herself. "No, but really, though. It's like the love I feel for Isaiah being official. I don't know how to say it better, but you get what I mean. Marriage is a choice, and if it makes sense for the two of you, it's the right choice" 

"It is, it makes sense for me. And if Addie said yes when I asked her to marry me..." Finn gathered, his heart going from beating nervously, to full of light and happiness. "Shit, yeah. We'll be fine, won't we?"

"Of course! Speaking of fine, here's the finest man in all the land" Sarah smiled when the door opened, and her fiancé, pardon, husband, walked through the door. His coat was covered in snowflakes, and so was his cap. "Hi, lover"

"Hi, you alright?" Isaiah grinned back, and Finn could see the sheer happiness in his best friend's face at the sigh of his wife. It was endearing, to say the very least. Anyone who didn't believe in marriage could simply look at those two and become a fierce believer. "How's it going, mate?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm good, thanks. Just telling Sarah the news" Finn snapped back into reality, and nodded. "How did it go at the betting shop?"

"Busy as all hell, to be honest" Isaiah replied, letting out a breath as he walked up to the kitchen, to get some water. "Polly is not happy with Lizzie, at all. Why, I don't know"

"I don't either, honestly" Finn shrugged, toying with his pinky ring. "Addie really liked the ring, thank you for helping me pick it out"

"No worries. I knew she'd like it, it's class" Isaiah responded, taking Sarah's hand and kissing the back of it softly. "Either you've a fever, or I'm freezing" 

"You're freezing" Sarah replied, laying her head on his shoulder and rubbing his hands inbetween her own, to warm them up a little. "I'm going to knit you some more sweaters, with thicker wool. And for you too, Finn"

"I'm fine, it's just 'cause it's snowing outside..." Isaiah tried to say, but Sarah was already adding logs to the fire, and gathering blankets which she draped all over her husband. "This is clearly not necessary, love, I'm feeling great" 

"You look like a fucking cocoon" Finn laughed, prompting his best friend to shoot him a murderous look. "It's true"

"Maybe some mittens? Some gloves? I've never knit a pair of gloves, but I think I can find someone to teach me" Sarah carried on, not even paying attention to the bickering. "Oh, and a scarf, definetly a scarf? What do you reckon? Grey? Navy? Moss green would look nice with your eyes" 

"Sarah, Sarah. Thank you so much for worrying, and for everything you do for me. But I'm fine. Please just sit down, alright?" Isaiah begged, halting Sarah on her way to the kitchen. "I'm fine, I promise"

"Still gonna knit you guys a shitload of heavy-ass sweaters" she muttered, making Finn laugh into his now-empty mug. "Why you laughing? You guys includes you and Addie" 

* * *

In keeping with their spoken agreement, Isaiah did not wear a shirt inside the bedroom he shared with Sarah. They had agreed with his dad to live with him, not wanting to leave him alone, probably not eating well and alone with his thoughts too much. However, their bedroom was their world, in inside there, they did what they very well pleased, as long as it wasn't too loud. 

"Am I being replaced by that rifle?" Sarah asked, about two months after Finn and Addie's engagement. It was a weird thing to say, but Isaiah really was holding a rifle, despite being clad in only his boxer shorts. "I'm not saying that it's not hot, but I'm jealous" 

"What? No, not at all, I was just cleaning it" Isaiah replied, clearly confused. "What's hot?"

"You? Holding a firearm? In your underwear?" she explained, crossing her arms in front of her chest, with an entertained smile on her lips. She was truly trying not to bite her lip, as it was not even remotely proper to be attracted by such a vision. 

"Yeah?" he asked, looking at his wife, and smiling cheekily. "That's bad, this is a legitimate Winchester, brand new. I went out with Finn and Arthur to try it out this afternoon. It's honestly the best thing I've ever shot" 

"Yup, that's it, you're in love with it. I'm redundant" Sarah pouted, going to lay down on the bed, pretending to cry. "I'm heartbroken" 

"Are you, now?" Isaiah asked, smirking as he put down the gun and made his way to the bed, hovering over his wife, and kissing the back of her neck. "As if any gun could replace you. You're a spoiled brat, and it's my fault"

"It is, actually" Sarah replied, laughing. "Before you get on with what you were about to do, I've some good news to share. And no, it's not a baby"

"Alright, what is it then?"

"You know those meetings me and Lacey have been doing at church? The family planning ones? Well, uh... Polly asked me to actually do the same with the oldest girls at the foundation" Sarah informed, fiddling with her rings. She didn't really know how to express how happy and proud she was about this, but Isaiah could see it: her eyes were sparkling, and it was so beautiful. He too was incredibly proud of his wife, who was very passionate about female and sexual health education. "I start next Saturday"

"Holy shit, love! That's amazing. I'm so proud of you, those girls are so lucky to have you" he praised, kissing her lips repeatedly. "Do you need help with anything? I know it's not my place, but I could help take stuff there, or something" 

"I'll let you know if I need anything, thank you. Me and Lacey are still coming up with the topics, so I don't know what we're gonna use. I'm so excited, I really am" Sarah beamed, breathing deeply, still smiling. 

"I love you, gorgeous. Hope you know that"

"And I love you. Thank you for being suportive, this means a lot to me" she replied, kissing him and cuddling against him. "You can carry on with whatever it was you wanted to do when I was throwing a fake tantrum" 

"I forget what it was" Isaiah laughed, wrapping his naked arms around his wife. "Did it have something to do with you saying I looked hot, and me scolding you about it?"

"Hm... Well, yeah, You said no gun was going to replace me, and I was about to reply that I wanted proof of that" Sarah said, looking up into his eyes. 

"You want more proof than a whole fucking wedding band on my finger? Look at it, here it is" he responded, showing her the ring, with a cheeky smile, daring her to contradict him. "That proof enough?"

"It's a start" 

* * *

"Are we happy with it as is? Or should we paint it another colour? We could also move to a nicer area of town" Finn said, looking around the bedroom. "I'll leave that up to you"

"This is a nice part of town" Addie responded, tilting her head to the side. "I think maybe we could paint the walls a different colour though? White is nice, but this white is a bit too white, you know what I mean?"

"Absoutely" he said, but Addie knew damn well he did not. "Well, fine, I don't, but it's true that it hurts my eyes when the sun hits"

"That's what happens when the white is too white" she informed, chuckling. "A nice blue would be pretty, wouldn't it? Or maybe a pretty yellow. A soothing colour, something that isn't as stark as this one" 

"I'd like blue. What about the furniture? I changed it all a bit after moving in, my sister Ada picked it out" he explained, looking at the dresser, the bedstands, and even the bed. It was comfortable, and he was used to the comfort of it. Besides, it had meaning for the two of them, some emotional value, as it were. "We can get rid of it if you hate anything, but I quite like everything" 

"I do too. There's only one thing I would like to say" 

"Sure, go ahead" 

"Could you help me bring my grandma's bookcase from my old house?" Addie asked, wondering if it would fit with the rest of the things they had in their living room. "It's not too big, and it's nice wood" 

"Of course, let's go tomorrow. I'll take the car and we'll bring the bookcase here" Finn agreed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "We'll get the paint for the walls too, and we could bring that teaset you own, the pretty one with the stars" 

"Oh yeah! We could bring that too. I'll make some food, and we could have a picnic by the cut"


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for miscarriage I'm sorry!

Although the bedroom was painted, and the old bookcase found a new home in their living room, neither one of the inhabitants of the home were there to enjoy the new look of their house. It had actually happened while they were having a cup of tea, basking in the success of their renovation. Addie sipped on her tea, laughing at something that Finn said, when a very sharp pain cut through her abdomen. It made her double over, and gasp, scaring the shit out of Finn, who got up instantly and kneeled next to her, asking what was happening, and what she needed. Not even a minute later, Addie passed out, and it was then that Finn saw the blood that stained the chair she was sitting on. 

The way to the hospital was absolute hell: Finn wasn't a very good driver, but he could've been on a racing team with a performance such as this one. Pedal to the metal, full speed ahead to the hospital wasn't fast enough, not even lightning speed or an airplane would've fast enough. Addie was still out of it, and it was, by far, the worst case scenario for the youngest Shelby. The only thought going through his mind was that Adaline simply could not die, she simply couldn't, he wouldn't survive. 

"When did this happen?" a nice doctor asked, after Addie had been whisked away on a gurney to an observation room, to be looked after. 

"She seemed fine not even half an hour ago. We did some painting on the house, moved some furniture, and were sitting down having tea, when it happened. So yeah, around half an hour ago, at most" Finn informed, wanting nothing more but to give the physician ll the information he had. "Is she... will she be alright?"

"We're looking into it. She's lost some blood, but she's being taken care of. Is there someone you want to call? Any family?" the doctor enquired, taking some notes on a chart he was holding. "There's a phone over there"

"Thank you" Finn replied, breathing in and out, taking some comfort in knowing Addie was in a hospital, where everything would be done to make sure she woke up, and that nothing would ever happen again. As for someone to call, Addie's family was in London, and although they exchanged letters, Finn didn't have a phone number. As for him, he wasn't sure who he wanted by his side, if anyone. Besides, Addie probably wouldn't like to broadcast that she was unwell. 

A good two hours passed before Finn could have some more information, and he was probably a few pounds lighter by then, after having paced around the corridor. Everything was hazy, there was a metallic taste in his mouth, and his heart didn't stop beating at a sickening pace, making everything worse. The same doctor came back, accompanied by a nurse, both of them looking way calmer than Finn could ever have been in that situation.

"Mister Shelby? Your wife is recovering now, don't worry" the doctor started off by saying. "However, there is something we need to discuss with you"

"Sure, go ahead" Finn managed to get out, not even bothering to correct the assumption that Addie was his wife. She would be, and they already lived together, so what difference did it make? 

"We are very sorry to inform you that your wife lost the child" the nurse chimed in, actually reaching out and patting Finn on the shoulder, fully convinced that Finn knew what was going on. 

"The... the what? I'm sorry, the what?" he stammered, his stomach turning. It was a good thing he hadn't eaten recently, or he would've been sick on the spot. "A... the..."

"You didn't know?" the doctor asked, although it was plain as day that the kid had no idea what was going on. "Do you reckon she did?"

"I... I actually... I have no idea. I don't know. I don't think she did. No, I think she would have... would have told me" Finn said, trying to make the air reach his lungs and failing completely. "Is she... will she be alright? Have you told her?"

"She'll be fine. We haven't told her, she's still recovering from the surgery" the nurse informed, taking pity on the young man. Not only was his wife laying on a hospital bed, but he had just lost a child he had no knowledge about. It just went to show that even the almighty Shelbies were human, and this one, the youngest, was probably the most human of them all. "We'll take you to see her"

There were no words to describe what Finn felt when he saw his precious Addie, pale and asleep, connected to a strange contraption, with a bag of blood dripping into her arm. Only then did he wish he had called someone, someone he trusted, someone that knew what the fuck to do, other than cry, or pass out. The nurse checked the pillows, checked the blood, and even went as far as to check Addie's pulse, all to show Finn that he could trust them on Addie's recovery. 

"See? She'll be alright" she said with a small smile. There wasn't much more to be said, not until the girl came to herself, and they could find out whether she knew she was pregnant or not. For once, both doctor and nurse actually believed the husband, when he said she would have told him if she knew she was expecting. The pain in the boy's face was evident, and it was heartbreaking, even for medical professionals, who had, unfortunately, seen it all. "We'll come back once she's awake"

Given the seriousness of the predicament, Finn didn't expect Addie to wake up any time soon. But she had the habit of surprising him, and seemed completely and utterly shocked to find herself in a hospital room, instead of the last place she remembered: her dining room table. At least Finn was there, and he would provide some answers for the strange plot twist. 

"So I passed out? Why? What did I do?" 

"Nothing, nothing" he quickly countered, grabbing her hands, trying to come up with the best way to approach the issue at hand. All in all, there was no best way to go about it, it just had to come out. "Addie, I don't know how to tell you this any better, so I'm just going to say it... did you... did you know you were pregnant?"

"Pregnant? What? No. Of course I wasn't" Addie chuckled, shocked beyond belief that Finn would actually joke about something as serious as pregnancy. This had to be a joke, it had to be a prank. It was a horrible one, but it had to be a prank, it couldn't possibly be real. "Are you joking? Finn, it isn't funny"

"I'm so sorry, I'm not... I'm not joking" Finn sighed, biting the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from crying. He could see the horror on Addie's face, which quickly turned into shock, and then into the deepest sadness. She didn't know, just like he didn't, and had quickly gathered that the pregnancy was no longer viable, or was over altogether. "I'm sorry, love, I'm so sorry" 

"Where... where's the baby? Finn, what happened to the baby? What did I do?" Addie desperately asked, looking around, half-hoping the baby was sleeping, right by her side, although she knew, in her heart, that her and Finn's baby was gone. "Finn, what did I do?"

"It's not your fault, angel. You didn't know, and this sometimes happens" he responded, getting up and wrapping his arms around his fiancée. "Some babies are not... some babies aren't strong enough, you know? It happened to John's wife, once. He told me, once. Happened after Katie was born" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know" Addie sobbed, struggling to breathe, and to wrap her head around what had happened. Her morning had been dreamy, but the afternoon was a nightmare, a terror. There was guilt, there was sadness, there was anguish, there was everything, and a hollowness that was unbearable. "I'm so sorry" 

"It's alright, it's not your fault. We'll get through this, I promise you, we will" Finn assured, trying as hard as he could not to cry, to remain strong for the two of them. "I love you, I love you so much" 

"I love you too, I'm so sorry" she responded, breathing in deeply for the first time since receiving the news. "How did this happen? I never thought it could, because of the rubber"

"I uh... I was thinking about it and... that one time... I think we forgot" he hesitated, fully aware that those clues were not enough for a positive identification of what had led to their current situation. "You remember? We were uh... in the shower"

"Oh" 

"Yeah, that... that makes sense. That's so stupid! We were so stupid, how could we forget? And how the hell did I not notice I was freaking pregnant? How is that even possible? I would have to have known" Addie protested, starting to think maybe the doctors had made some sort of mistake. 

In a very timely fashion, the doctor, having heard the girl's voice, came into the room, and was able to provide answers for all the question. It was absolutely gut-wrenching to talk to grieving parents, especially when they were so young, and obviously in love. 

"The pregnancy was not far along enough for your period to be missed. We think the fetus was around three or four weeks along" the doctor patiently informed. "It's a very unstable phase of the pregnancy, and this isn't uncommon. It wasn't something you did, it's just natural selection" 

"Makes sense, eh?" Finn said to Addie, who was taking in the information. 

"It does, yes. Thank you, doctor" she responded, even managing a small, thankful smile for the doctor. "Will I be able to go home soon?"

"Not today, but maybe tomorrow. I'll see what I can do, and it depends on how you get on. I'll be back later to check on you" the doctor promised, getting up and leaving. 

"See? Of course it's not your fault. How are you feeling?" Finn asked, kissing the top of Addie's head, noticing her breathing becoming a little slower, a little calmer. It helped him relax as well. 

"Nothing hurts" she simply replied, sniffling silently. "Well, physically nothing hurts. Inside, I don't know how I feel, honestly. I'm sad. I'm just really sad, I don't know what else to say, I'm just really sad" 

"I know, love, me too. I thought I was going to lose you, and I still haven't recovered from that. You wanna call someone? Or I could call someone for you" Finn offered, rubbing her back softly, allowing her to cry all she needed into his shirt. 

"No, that's ok, thank you. You don't need to stay either, pet, go home and get something to eat, get some rest"

"I'm sorry, what? No, absolutely not. If you don't want visitors, that's up to you, but no way in hell I'm leaving"


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good morning, afternoon or evening y'all, it's thirsting-over-Daryl-McCormack-hours, welcome to our celebration, take a seat, sip some tea, we stan

"Should we worry?"

"I don't know. Should we? I don't think so"

"Me neither. Let's not worry about it, then" 

"Deal" 

The conversation had happened before, and it would probably happen again. So far, it had happened three times, a monthly occurence that was becoming a bit of a ritual: every twenty-eight days or so, Sarah would emerge from the bathroom, sighed loudly, and her husband Isaiah would sigh too. Three full months, three months in which their best friend had conceived and lost a child, three months that they'd been married, and still nothing. 

"Three months is nothing, to be honest. It took years for my parents to have me" Isaiah informed, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, with Sarah by his side. It was clear that he was disappointed, but it wasn't with her, it had nothing to do with her. If anything, he was the one at fault, or they just hadn't been lucky, or their timing had been off. After all, like he said, three months go by in the blink of an eye. 

"Yeah, I didn't come easily, either" Sarah agreed, trying to look on the bright side, and even managing a smile. That first impact was always the hardest, after the weeks of build-up, of hoping, of praying. They'd be fine in a couple of hours, and would soon try again, until their wish came true, but it took a bit, it took strength and love. "I love you, though"

"I love you, too. We'll get there, there's no reason to panic" he responded, kissing her lips and holding her hand inbetween his. "I could make you some tea, if you want. Or heat up some water for the hot water bottle" 

"That's a good idea, but no way I'm going to make you do that for me"

"I'm still going to" Isaiah stubbornly stated, picking his wife up and carrying her to the living room. Luckily, his father wasn't home, and he could kiss her all he wanted without feeling self-conscious. He sat her down on the couch, covered her with a blanket, and went to work in the kitchen. "You know walking around makes those cramps worse"

"It's very sweet of you to do all this for me, but I have to carry on with my life" Sarah countered, looking at him from her cozy place in the living room. Damn him, she thought to herself, him and that body of his, nothing but highlighted by the extremely well-made suits any Peaky Blinder prided himself in. She wasn't the biggest fan of the danger her husband was constantly in, but there were perks, and this was one of them. 

"You'll carry on with your life later" was the answer, partially uttered from behind two clouds of vapour. One of them was handed to Sarah, whereas Isaiah kept the second: hers was jasmine, his was orange and bergamot, scents that went together in a floral harmony that matched the energy in the room. "I have a surprise for you" 

"You do? Is it another stab wound?" she enquired, pretty much expecting anything but a pleasant surprise. It wasn't that Isaiah didn't have good ideas, it was just that... well, she had had to stitch up one too many cuts and other assorted wounds. Much to her actual surprise, he didn't seem to be bleeding, but seemed to be in the mood to throw his suit jacket on the sofa, unbutton the cuff of his shirt, and pull it up to the elbow. 

"Didn't want you to see it until it stopped bleeding and scabbing all over" he proudly announced, displaying what was, unmistakably, a black-ink tattoo, depicting a date, and some initials. It was actually pretty well-done, neatly placed on his forearm, subtle enough to not be noticed, but undeniable once one's eyes knew of it. 

"Holy shit, that's permanent" Sarah let out, eyes wide. "Those are my initials. That's our wedding date" 

"I'm well aware. You hate it, don't you?"

"Hate it? Of course I don't hate it! Honey, this is the sweetest thing, I love it. Thank you" she uttered, still in disbelief, and with tears trickling down her face. "Forever, eh?"

"Hell yeah, forever" Isaiah replied, kissing her on the lips. "Please don't cry, that wasn't the intention"

"I'm sorry, it's just very sweet, and I honestly had no idea" she confessed, sipping on her tea, running the pad of her finger over the numbers and letters. "I'm gonna get the same thing so I don't forget out anniversary"

"Hadn't thought of that. Huh, that's pretty smart, I'll never forget either" 

* * *

Addie had a new job; now that she could write pretty well (better than the majority of people in Birmingham, that is), and read too, her talents were wasted as a printer. Hence, she'd been promoted to editor, putting together the news, accepting good stories, and turning down bad ones. A couple of really good pieces had arrived to her desk, stuff that could probably even go national.

"I'm sick and fucking tired of fucking Linda telling us what the fuck we should do!" Finn exploded, the second he arrived home. Not even bothering to take off his great-coat, he marched to the kitchen, leaving a trail of what looked like petrol in his path, and only making a return to the living room when he had two glasses of whisky in his hand, full to the absolute brim. "Imagine if I talked to Tom, or even to Arthur, like she speaks to them; I'd be dead in a fucking ditch" 

"Of course they wouldn't kill you, pet" Addie assured, from behind her edition of the _Daily Mail_ , delivered to her from London. 

"They would, though!" he countered, placing the glass he'd brought her on the table, and leaning over to kiss her on the lips. "No way in hell they'd let it pass, the way they do her. Always going on about God, and sin, and that bulshit. Makes me want to yell at her" 

"And good evening to you, mister Shelby" Addie mocked, grinning behind the pages. Nevertheless, even though she was half-hidden, Finn knew she was poking fun at him, and stole the newspaper from her hands, and going straight to tickling her ribs. "Stop! You're a terrorist, stop that!"

"How dare you make fun of me, woman? I'm a Peaky fucking Blinder, eh? I shall not stand this disrespect" Finn laghed along, happily sitting down on the couch, his legs over Addie's, and something very akin to calm and relaxation taking over his tired muscles. "I'm sorry, sweet, didn't mean to unload on you like that. Good evening"

"That's alright, I just thought it was funny. Don't pay too much attention to what she says. I know it sucks to have someone meddling in your business, but I'm sure she means well" Addie said, reaching for his hands. 

"If she means well, she does a terrible job of showing it. You know that after we get married, you'll be entitled to come to family meetings; I mean, you are already, I'd like to see someone try and stop you, but after we're married..." Finn started, although his educated guess was that Adaline would much rather stay out of Shelby business, and out of Linda's vocal range as well. As for him, he thought it was probably the smartest move, or Tommy would have her do his bidding in no time. 

"I know, and it's very generous of you to offer. Right now, I would rather not attend; but I'l see where I stand once we get married. That alright?"

"Of course" Finn agreed, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes. He had a pretty unbearable headache, but nothing that Addie's mere presence couldn't heal. That, and the good dose of whisky he'd brought from the cupboard. Addie was timidly sipping on hers, but his glass was half empty by the time he emerged from the kitchen. "You feeling alright?"

"Yeah, just fine" Addie replied, that sweet, honest smile only she was capable of. Oh, how Finn wanted to just lay on his couch, her hands on his, looking at her face when she smiled, listening to her talk, basking in the home life he had always dreamed of. What difference did it make that he carried a revolver at all times? It wasn't enough to taint the perfection of being in love with that girl, the perfection of building a home with her. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here's the deal my dudes: I know there's no plot, we been knew that, I don't want no drama, I want them to be happy. Please don't sue me, I am poor and cannot afford legal fees.

Finn had decided to make biscuits. It was a recipe he'd gotten from a random magazine, but so far it was working pretty well, despite his lack of natural ability. He had just turned off the oven when a sound behind him made him jump, and face the source. It ended up being Addie, only she looked... well, different. Different as in wearing nothing but a set of lingerie, in delicate, almost see-through lace, in the most beautiful shade of powder blue. 

"You done cooking?" she asked, voice as smooth as her garment, although he could tell she didn't feel comfortable. "I went to the doctor today"

"You... you look incredible" Finn had to get out, before he choked on the words. "What... the doctor? What did he say?"

"It's been eight weeks since... well, you know what. And he said I healed just fine. So I was thinking... if you wanted to, of course" Addie shrugged, biting her lower lip and smiling. Predictably, Finn had been frozen in place for a bit, but as soon as he regained the ability to command his body, he went straight for his fiancée, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pulling her to him. 

"Fuck yeah, I want to, but are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I am. Actually, I went ahead and got the thingy, it didn't hurt a bit. So, there's that, if it makes you feel any better" she informed, peppering kisses on his neck. "We could wait though, if you're busy..." 

Finn didn't let her say anything more: he kissed her right on the lips, decisively picking her up and marching upstairs to their bedroom. Eight weeks was not a huge amount of time, it was a month and a half. But shit, he missed her, missed how nice her hands felt on his skin when she was taking off his clothes, and how nice her lips felt down his neck, on his chest, everywhere. Then, of course, there was the way she tasted, the way she moaned, and the way he fit so perfectly inside of her. 

"You want to know what I think?" Finn said, melting into the sheets, refusing to let Addie move an inch from where she was. 

"I do, yes. What do you think?" the girl in question replied, trying to untangle her limbs from the sheets and failing miserably. 

"The thingy? Can go to hell. Have a baby with me."

It was now Addie's turn to be absolutely taken by surprise. The "thingy" had been the holy grail of all holy grails for a young, soon-to-be-married couple. Apart from their accident, which had been a stupid mistake with a horrible ending, it had worked well. And now, three weeks away from their actual wedding day, Finn was saying he wanted to abandon that security, and dive straight into parenthood, at the ages of twenty-one and eighteen. Surely it would be a tragically bad idea to start a family at that age. And surely she should say that. But if that was so damn obvious, the idea wouldn't have made her smile, would it? 

"I don't know what to say, pet" Addie ended up saying, after a minute of silence. "I do want a baby with you, more than one, even. I'm only thinking that we're too young to start a family. I wouldn't know the first thing about taking care of a baby"

"Me neither... Are we? Too young, I mean" Finn asked in return, evaluating that premise. "I have no idea how old I'm supposed to be. I know the number, but what do normal people do at my age? Work? Marry? Have children? Get shot? Fix races? Get drunk?" 

"I reckon it depends on the person. Some girls around my age that used to live near my old house are already married with kids... but others aren't. Same with your family, right? Tom and Arthur didn't have kids until they were much older than us, but Ada and..." 

"Ada and John had them very young" he completed for her, pulling her closer, to tell her wordlessly that it was alright to mention John. The only thing more painful than losing his brother would be to not rmember him, to not talk about him. "I see what you mean, each person is different, eh? Alright, let's... let's do this: thingy stays until the wedding, and during the honeymoon too. We'll see where we stand then" 

"That's very fair, I like that idea" Addie agreed, nodding softly. "And in the meanwhile, I'll look for some books about babies at the library. There has to be something that explains how to do it properly" 

"I hope there is. Let's agree not to ask any of my side of the family, though. I highly doubt any of them knows how to raise a child who's not a complete catastrophe" Finn seriously stated, making Addie laugh so hard her stomach started to ache. "What? Are you gonna debate that? Am I not right?" 

"You don't know whether you are or not! Karl is an idiot, I'll give you that, but the rest of your nieces and nephews are lovely" she countered, looking up at her future husband, with tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. "Like Billy. Billy is very sweet, he just needs to... not be as religious as his mother when he grows up" 

"You can say that again..."

"And Ruby! She's going to be such a nice young lady some day; no reason to think your family can't raise kids. You turned out alright"

"I did, huh? Apart from the drug problem, the sex addiction, and the criminal record, I turned out alright" Finn chuckled. 

"You've a sex addiction?" Addie teasingly asked, gaining a vicious tickling attack on her ribs, which was the best way to disarm her. "Finn Shelby, I would never have guessed"

"Didn't say 'have', I meant 'had', as in the past" he clarified, reaching for the jar of water on Addie's nightstand. "On second thought, you do know I spend half of my time at work thinking about having sex with you, don't you? Maybe I do have a sex addiction. I should complain to Sarah, she would know what to do" 

"I am daring you to go up to Sarah and tell her you've a sex addiction. I dare you, I'm not even kidding. Bonus points if it's in front of Isaiah, too" 

"Interesting... What's in it for me?" he asked, drinking some water and passing the glass to Addie, who sat up to drink some as well. Her cheeks were proper rosy from laughing, and she was finally untangled from the sheets. Honestly, she looked like a fucking saint. 

"The laundry. For a month" Addie proposed, extending her hand for him to shake, which Finn did, as he hated doing that particular chore. 

* * *

"Interesting you should say that. You know there's this guy, his name's Freud, and I read a couple of his things, and he says that everything that manifests in your life is the consequence of some childhood traumas you might've suffered" Sarah informed, leaning forward, elbows on her own dinner table, eyes fixated on Finn, as if she was trying to exorcise his traumas through the power of visualization. "What were the traumas, Finn?"

"Where do I start... Well, my father up and left, my mother died, my brothers are criminals, I got fucking shot in the arm..." Finn listed, counting the offending events with the aid of his digits. 

"Abandonement" Sarah nodded as a response, not moving one inch. "Go on. Do you feel abandoned?"

"Do I? I don't know. What does that have to do with anything?" Finn enquired, shaking his head. He wasn't sure how he felt about being scanned by those observant, Canadian eyes. Besides, how come she knew these things? 

"Maybe you seek attention because you feel abandoned by the people who were supposed to raise you; and when you were having sex all the time with the sex workers, it was to fill that void. Oh, not to mention that you thought you had to prove yourself to your brothers, who are both very much shaped by the experience of being left alone with a lot of responsibilities at a very young age" Sarah pointed out, taking that moment to sip on her tea. "Yeah?" 

"Do you charge for this? You should charge people money" Addie suggested, her jaw on the floor. 

"That was... shit" Finn sighed, trying his best to process what his best friend had just said. "You're right, it makes sense. And now Addie has to do our laundry for a month" 

"I didn't think Sarah would like... explain your whole personality!" Addie protested, making Sarah laugh out loud. Isaiah wasn't even participating in the conversation at that point, used as he was to have a saviour complex, hence a complex and inherent need to take care of everyone around him. Besides, he was pretty much blown away by the way his wife's mind worked, that intelligence and empathy that was millions of miles ahead of his. 

"Of course not! I just read about this theory, and it makes sense. People are way more complex than that, you know?" Sarah shrugged, supporting her head on her chin. "Every person is an individual, and it's not that easy to explain someone" 

"I'm with Addie, though. You should charge people to do this. I feel a bit better now that you explained why I did the things I did, you know? It's not all my fault, it doesn't mean I'm weak. There's a reason for everything, you know?" Finn confessed, sipping on his water. "Any chance you could tell Tommy a couple things?"

"He needs a professional" Sarah replied, not wanting anything to do with Thomas Shelby's head. 


	31. Chapter 31

"Oh my god... Addie, you look..." Sarah sighed, not even believing what she was seeing, right in front of her eyes. "Finn is going to die, I don't know if he's going to be able to deal with this" 

"Oh no, I don't want him to die! I want him to be happy!" Addie replied, covering her mouth with her hands. "Should I..." 

"No, you look amazing. You look so good. Really, you're so beautiful!" Sarah exclaimed, hugging Addie tightly, as carefully as possible, so that nothing got ruined by her own makeup. "I love this dress, I knew this shape would suit you" 

"Thank you. I feel... I don't know, I uh... I'm nervous. Not about marriage, but about walking down the aisle. Everyone will be looking at me, and I don't feel like I can handle that" Addie said, chewing on her lower lip. She wasn't used to being the centre of attention, and although it was about her and Finn, there was no denying that there would be many people (about fifty) watching her, looking at her, maybe even judging her. 

"You know what you need to do? You need to just look at Finn. Just look at him, focus on him, no one else. I know you can't look him in the eye, but pretend it's just the two of you" Sarah suggested, fixing Addie's veil. In general, Addie's dress was much simpler than Sarah's: there was no lace, and no embellishments other than a simple flower at the waist; but it was transcendental, delicate, and as ethereal as Adaline Foster herself. 

"I don't understand how come they can't look at us walking down the aisle" Addie giggled, breathing in through her nose. "Alright, I'll do that. Or I can just look at you, eh? Or Isaiah, or maybe aunt Polly. My dad will be by my side, so I might not fall on my face"

"Oh yeah, he won't let you fall. Look at all of us, and remember how loved you are. Really, everyone loves you so much" Sarah guaranteed, smiling widely. "Not to mention, your groom is crazy about you, and I know you'll be fine the moment you see him. I can honestly swear he must be as nervous as you are, if not more" 

There was a knock on the door, and Ada Thorne, Finn's sister, popped her head in, and smiled at the both of them, her eyes filling with tears. She felt absolutely overwhelmed with emotion, seeing her kid brother getting married. Addie was already part of the family, but celebrating was so amazing, especially since Finn had almost died of grief after John's death. It was heartbreaking that John couldn't be there, but he would certainly be looking down, smiling, probably congratulating himself for putting Addie in Finn's path. 

"You ready, love?" Ada asked, wiping her eyes. "Let's go before I ruin my makeup entirely" 

"I'm ready. Thank you so much, to both of you, for helping with getting me to look presentable, and for taking me there" Addie responded, tilting her head back so that Sarah's hard work wouldn't go to waste due to her waterworks.

"No worries, but let me just tell you that you look a little more than presentable" Ada laughed, as the three of them made their way down the stairs, and into Ada's car. "You know Finn has been driving everyone crazy" 

"Is he alright? What has he done?" Sarah asked, busying herself with getting all of Addie's dress in the backseat before they made their way to church. "Isaiah did sound vaguely exhausted when he called me earlier" 

"He somehow got the impression that your family hates him, and that you won't show up" Ada informed, holding back a chuckle. "I don't know what to say, except I find you're crazy to want to marry into this family" 

"I might be, honestly, but I find you amusing" Addie laughed, looking out the window, and trying to grasp the concept of changing her last name. She didn't have to, but after that day, she wouldn't be just Addie Foster, editor of a newspaper and journalist: she would be someone's wife, she would, for all intents and purposes, be Finn Shelby's wife. "Am I very late?"

"Not at all, just the traditional ten minutes" Sarah informed, looking down at her watch. "Jeremiah knows how brides are, and he can't start without you, right?"

"I guess not" 

* * *

"That's my sister's car. You two, get your ass inside" Tommy Shelby ordered, and both his brother Arthur and the best man obeyed, entering the church, leaving a positively panicked Finn and a collected Tommy outside. "Finn, are you sure about this?"

"I am" Finn replied, breathing as deeply as he possibly could. Ada was there, and Ada was driving Addie, so that meant his bride hadn't run away, that he could breathe a bit easier. "I am, Tommy, I really am" 

"So am I. So am I, eh? She's the one, I knew it the moment I saw her. Don't lose her. Don't lose her, and you'll be alright. You promise?" 

"I promise" 

"Good. In we go, lad" Tommy said, patting his younger brother on the shoulder, and entering the church, by Finn's side, and leaving him at the aisle with Isaiah, before joining Lizzie and his two kids. 

"You ready? Nervous?" Isaiah asked, nudging his best friend on the shoulder. 

"Ready, yes. Nervous... yeah, but at least Addie's here" Finn admitted, laughing nervously. 

Ada was the first one to enter the church, and Sarah followed, after having made sure the bride was properly attired and holding her bouquet of flowers. One last breath, and Finn had to turn his back to the entrance, in keeping with English tradition. His heart beat so hard and so fast it was almost unbearable, but he knew, he simply knew, that Addie was right there, she was right behind him. 

"I think I'm going to pass out" Finn whispered to Isaiah, who laughed silently in return. 

"Nah mate, you're gonna want to be awake for this" Isaiah replied, remembering his own wedding, and knowing that there was nothing in the world that could be more perfect than seeing the woman he loved at the altar; he wanted the exact same thing for Finn, he wanted him to know how it felt, and, most of all, he wanted to see the look on his best friend's face when he saw how absolutely stunning Addie looked. 

And before long, Finn could see it, and he didn't want to even blink, let alone pass out. Addie had to be an angel, she had to be from a completely different universe: her hair was down, long, flowing, covered delicately by a delicate veil; her dress was exactly how he had pictured it, simple, elegant, timeless; and her eyes, her features, her beauty shined through each and every centimetre of that blessed skin. 

"Hi" she said, smiling at him, trying to contain the stubborn tears that wanted to fall. 

"Hi. You look incredible" Finn managed to say, prompting Addie to blush violently. 

"You do too" 

* * *

There was no one, not one single soul for miles on end. It was cold, that was true, but there was a fire, and the windows were closed, giving them all the warmth thay could hope for. And, unlike the rest of the day, it was silent, so much so that their ears vibrated. 

"I... I don't know how to explain the amount of happiness I feel right now" Finn stammered, turning to Addie, her hand still in his. "Truly, I..." he meant to add something, but Addie pulled him to her and kissed him as hard as she possibly could, saying in gestures what he couldn't say in words. 

"Best day ever. Thank you for marrying me" 

"Are you serious? No, thank you for marrying me, and my crazy family. You're the love of my life, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. There, that's what I wanted to say" 

"I love you, too" Addie responded, sighing happily. "I'm pretty glad to be without that veil. The dress is comfortable, but the veil was pretty annoying" 

"This dress is insanely pretty, I love it" Finn complimented, taking Addie's hand once more and making her do a spin. "It looks just like I imagined it" 

"Yeah? Same here, this is exactly what I had in mind. There is, however, something under it that you might like more. At least I hope so" she added, biting her lip seductively, and winking at her new husband. 

"Oh, is that so? Interesting" Finn chuckled, taking her by the waist and kissing her lips softly. 


	32. Chapter 32

Sarah had reached her breaking point: they'd celebrated their one year wedding anniversary the week before, and she was still not pregnant. There was still nothing, except for the blood on the sheets, and the deepest of sorrows inside her heart. At that point, it didn't even matter whether it was her or Isaiah; the fact was that they couldn't conceive, they couldn't have a child, and every month she had to face it, had to face the heart-wrenching truth. 

"I don't know what to say" Isaiah whispered, sitting on the edge of the matress, wondering how much longer until Sarah got up and left. How could he expect her to remain married to him, when he'd promised to protect her from all harm, but wasn't able to shield her from the pain her face showed? 

"Me neither" Sarah responded, shrugging, unable to breathe properly. "I really don't know what to say. It's the twelveth time we've sat here, saying the same things, going through the same. And I still don't know what to say" 

"Should we start looking at other options?"

"You mean, should we simply give up on having children?" she asked, looking down at her hands. 

"I didn't mean that. I don't want to give up either. I was talking about adoption" Isaiah clarified, scooting over to Sarah, wrapping an arm around her. "It's a possibility, and it would mean that we could have a family"

"What if you end up resenting me? What if this is the thing that breaks us? What if you wake up one day, look at me, and realize you no longer want me? Isaiah, I am terrified. I am fucking terrified..."

"Sarah, I don't know what you're talking about, but I can assure you that I'm not going to resent you. In fact, I was sitting here, not even five minutes ago, thinking that you'd be in your right to pack up and leave, because I can't give you a child" he admitted, turning her face to his, making sure his thumb could catch every single one of the tears she cried. "And you know what? It sucks, it's the fucking worst, but there is one thing I know, and that is that I love you. I love you, and although I've said it a thousand times before, and meant every single one, it seems you've forgotten. I loved you before I wanted children, and I will love you long after we decide what to do about it. This isn't negotiable either; I made my vows, in front of God, in front of all the people I love, and I fully intend to honour them. If this is the worst, then so be it. So be it, because I could not love you more, and I am not going anywhere" 

"My love, I..." Sarah started, blinking repeatedly, trying not to sob. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

"No, don't be, what would you be sorry about?" Isaiah asked, furrowing his brow. "This is no one's fault"

"We can't keep doing this to ourselves. We can't do this anymore" she concluded, burying her face in the fabric of his undershirt. "We can't keep on living like this. I don't want to lose myself, I don't want to lose who I am, and I don't want to lose who you are. I'm not saying it'll be easy, I'm just saying that... that we can't let this take over everything. Didn't we always say that even when we had kids, we would still be ourselves? We would still be a couple, we'd still go on dates and all of that? Now look at us: there isn't a child in sight, and we're letting it control our lives. I don't want that" 

"That's... that's incredibly wise, love. And... I'm at a loss for words, I... You're incredible. Really. You're the strongest human being I have ever met. And yes, of course you're right. We need to be ourselves, and we have to live our lives. So we need to promise ourselves to... to overcome" Isaiah nodded, kissing the top of his wife's head. "Starting now" 

"Starting now. If I feel myself slipping, I'll come to you, and you do the same, alright? Promise?" Sarah asked, looking up into his eyes, and falling in love with that man a little more. 

"Of course, I promise. And hey: kids or no kids, you're my girl, and I love you more than words can do justice" 

"And I love you just as much"

* * *

Addie looked around her office, before sitting down behind her desk. It was pretty nice out, but she had to work, and the immense amount of papers on her desk meant she had no chance of taking it outside, or even home, where she sometimes worked. She'd gone over two articles when there was a knock on the door, followed by the appearance of her husband, whom her secretary called "mister Foster". It always made them laugh, and even Finn found it pretty amusing. 

"Hi, it's me" Finn smiled, stepping into the office, and bending over to kiss Addie on the lips.

"Hi! Are you alright?" Addie asked in return, not used to Finn being free in the middle of the afternoon. He was usually too busy at the betting shop, or having "meetings" with referees and players. 

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine" he assured, looking around, before turning his eyes to Addie, who could see there was something making him excited. "I came to tell you some news, actually. Good news, so don't worry about anything. But uh... Well, I'm just gonna say it, eh? Tommy wants me to take care of the races, from now on" 

"Oh my god, really? Finn! Pet, that's amazing! It's what you've been wanting, isn't it?" 

"Yeah, yeah, it's... it's what I wanted" 

Addie got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around Finn, who lifted her up from the ground. It had been his ultimate goal: to run a legitimate part of the business, to go and make a name for himself out on the race tracks. Sure, it wasn't all clean and within the law, but it was a bit more dynamic than fixing fotball matches. 

"I'm so proud of you. So, so proud" Addie congratulated, kissing him on the lips. "You're amazing" 

"Excuse me, but we're standing in your office, mrs. newspaper editor" Finn countered, making her laugh. "Can't believe you're my wife, still hasn't sunk in" 

"Same here, honestly. So, what are we going to do? To celebrate?" 

"Glad you asked. I was thinking we could go to that place you wanted to try, on the High Street. The one with French food" he suggested, still holding her close. "Or I could come around later to pick you up, and take you home, and try to cook something vaguely edible" 

"Although I know you're still learning how to manage the cooker, I'll take that second option" 


	33. Chapter 33

"The Shelbies gave me their permission. If you don't believe me, I can call Polly Gray, or even Tommy Shelby, for them to tell you as much" Sarah explained, facing the matron who stood in front of her. This new woman, who everyone hated at first sight, was meant to be the new headmistress for the Grace Foundation School, where Sarah not only taught, but also ran some workshops on women's health and sexuality. Now, what had become normal and a big selling point of the foundation, was an issue: this woman looked like she hadn't even seen herself naked, let alone had sex. 

"And who are you to have contacts with the Shelby family?" ms. Price questioned, sticking up her chin. She had several interviews with Polly Gray, and one with Tommy himself, and had made it very clear that she would run the school with an iron fist. No abuse would be tolerated, but no excessive liberties either. This was certainly the kind of liberty she was absolutely against. 

"Well, I've taught here for a bit, and my husband is close to them" Sarah replied, crossing her arms. She didn't mean to brag, or make herself sound more important than the headmistress. But she also couldn't stand the thought of those girls entering puberty or even adulthood without the basic knowledge of their bodies, and of sex. "I have their permission, ms. Price. Please, let me and Lacey do our job. You are more than welcome to join, to see that we're not doing anything wrong. We're just protecting these girls, giving their vital information!"

"You are encouraging them to engage in behaviour that a young lady should not indulge in outside matrimony!" the headmistress scolded, forcing Sarah to take a deep breath. Was this really possible? It was 1931, and this woman was acting as if women needed to be even more oppressed than they already were. "You talk about such things being human nature, and..."

"Am I wrong? Ms. Price, please. We've already lost five minutes. Don't make me lose my patience as well" Sarah responded, rolling her eyes. At that point, she was becoming more and more sure that she'd get fired, but she was, thankfully, in a position where she could afford to stand up for herself and her beliefs. "Look, join the class for today, see what it is that we do there. Once you see how harmless it is, you'll..." 

"Absolutely not! Not under this roof! Miss Williams... I mean, mrs. Jesus, you need to stay in your lane! To think a married woman such as yourself is running around Birmingham preaching about... such things!"

"You know what? Fine. That's absolutely fine. I don't need to do anything under your roof" Sarah concluded, turning her back to the matron and walking into her classroom, where about twenty of the older girls were already waiting. "Girls! I'm so sorry I'm late, but it appears that we'll have to take our lesson outside today. Would you like that? Do you all have something warm? Let's go then" 

The girls were a bit taken aback at first, but followed Sarah sheepishly. Ms. Price was angry, but not surprised: these young girls, with their modern ideas of freedom and feminism, could be maddeningly determined. She made a mental note to march down to Shelby manor that same evening, and make mr. Shelby, the honourable mr. Shelby, fire miss Willia... mrs. Jesus. 

"Miss, I'm sorry, but why are we here? And why was Ms. Price fuming?" one of the pupils asked, wide-eyes, with a notebook at the ready. 

"Long story short, she doesn't like that I'm teaching about sexual intercourse, and contraception, and all of that" Sarah shrugged, finding it quite easy to sit on the grass, surrounded by her students. "You know, the world out there doesn't want you to have this information, because if you do, it means you're less vulnerable. And you need to know that society wants you as vulnerable as possible, so that everyone can take advantage of you" 

"It's like you said, miss: we need to know things to make informed decisions" another girl added, making everyone nod. "For example, now that we know about contraception, we have the option of only having kids when we want them, and if we want them" 

"Absolutely, Lydia, that's right" Sarah nodded, finding out that the mention of kids didn't make her stomach go into knots anymore. It was just another word, instead of a stab to the heart, a reminder of what she didn't have. She'd made the choice to only focus on what she had, and making sure she was thankful and appreciative. "Here's the thing: people will try and break your spirit, but you can't let them. If you find the need to compromise, do so if it's essential for your survival. But where you can, make sure to stand your ground. Alright?"

"Miss, I have a question. You taught us about feminism, and that women and men are equal, and should live their lives accordingly. But what if a man doesn't think that way?" Emma asked, her freckled nose wrinkled with enthusiasm. 

"I would say that you shouldn't marry a man who doesn't believe in equality, if you want to live in equality. See, I didn't think such a man existed. But then I met my husband, and he shares my beliefs. That is why I decided to marry him" Sarah explained, making her students' eyes widen: she never talked about her husband. "Now, I know that you need to have food on your table, and a roof over your head. If you can, find a job, make a living for yourself. Try to find ways to be independent" 

"Join a convent!" Emma chimed in, making everyone laugh. 

"Well, I'm not saying it's the ideal option, but... it's an option" Sarah laughed along, remembering herself at that age, hating men, and wanting to torture them by giving them a taste of what they could have, only to take it away when she herself was satisfied. "Remember: you're valid as individuals, and don't need a man, or anyone, to make you valuable"

* * *

Addie popped her head into the living room, scaring Sarah half to death. She wasn't expecting visitors, and both Isaiah and Jeremiah were with the Shelbies. However, when she realised it was Adaline, she got up from her chair and went to hug her friend, who was all smiles. 

"I heard you gave quite a speech today" Addie praised, following Sarah to the table and taking a seat. "I only know that because one of the girls who attends your workshops is interning with us at the paper, and told us all about it. She seems pretty invested in making sure the whole newsroom is aware of feminism" 

"Oh well. My buttons were pushed. Couldn't help it" Sarah chuckled, pouring herself and Addie some scotch. "The new headmistress is living in the Stone Age"

"Ms. Price? Yeah, I heard that as well. She was able to trick Polly and even Tommy into thinking she would be a good fit for a school, but I don't think she is. I mean, nothing against the rest of her work, but trying to put a stop to your workshop? It's ridiculous. She should know it's incredibly important for young girls to know about subjects that have everything to do with them, and with their futures" Addie agreed, taking a sip of her drink and smoothing her skirt. "If only everyone could have access to lessons like those, the world would be a happier place" 

"I think so too. Just the privilege of choosing when to start a family... imagine every woman had access to that. What a miracle" Sarah responded, sighing loudly. If she only had one wish come true, it would probably be that one. "You still getting on well with your rubber?"

"Oh yeah, it's the best thing ever. Me and Finn aren't really into the idea of having kids right now. We did say we would start trying after the honeymoon, but then we got new jobs and new things to do, we're really busy, and really happy like this" 

"You know what? I never thought I'd say this, but same here: I've decided to count my blessings. Sure, a baby would be great. But if it hasn't happened yet, or if it never does, that's fine too. I feel complete the way I am, and I feel like my life is complete the way it is" Sarah nodded, feeling a peace washing over her like never before. "And it's the best feeling in the world. I even enjoy silence now, which I used to hate"

"That's amazing! I like silence, although after a while I start hearing my typerwriter. Like ghost noises, you know?" Addie confessed, causing the both of them to laugh. "Not complaining though, never in my life did I imagine I would be able to write, let alone on a typewriter. And it's thanks to you"

"Me? Don't say that, I just showed you a couple tricks. You did the work all by yourself, and you're smart. I knew you'd be able to write and read and do all that. Granted, being the editor of a newspaper never crossed my mind, but it makes absolute sense. I love reading what you write, the articles you choose too" 

Sarah and Addie had fallen into a comfortable silence some minutes later, both gazing at the fireplace, basking in the company of a kindred spirit. None of them bothered to look at their watches, but it was close to midnight when the spell was broken by the sound of keys on the door, and the appearance of Jeremiah, Isaiah, and even Finn, whom Addie had informed of her whereabouts. 

"Someone should take a picture of the two of you" Jeremiah joked, hanging up his coat and hat. "What a beautiful sight"

"You're too kind" Addie chuckled, looking away from the fire, and getting up to hug Jeremiah and Isaiah, as well as her husband. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just fine" Finn responded, kissing her on the lips. "Didn't even have to fight anyone at the matches today" 

"Oh no, how sad for you" Addie fake pouted, making him laugh. "Jeremiah, I'm sorry to ask, I know it's late, but is there any way you could confirm the service hours? Are they the same as last week?" 

"The exact same, yes. And we'll be hosting a bake sale as well, on Sunday. If you could print an ad, I'd be very grateful" Jeremiah responded, getting a glass of water. 

"Of course. I love bake sales" Addie replied, writing down a note on her reporter's notepad, the same one she always carried around. 

"Thank you. I'm going to bed, good night, everyone" the preacher announced, giving them one last smile before going up the stairs. He seemed tired, and his voice was raspy, but his spirit was as strong as ever: Jeremiah Jesus was a dependable man, sensible, and open-minded, which made him a favourite of younger people and children. 

"Anyone up for some scotch? Or some more scotch?" Isaiah offered, getting a glass for himself, and another for Finn, who had promptly accepted. "This is good stuff, mate, you'll like it" 

"It's really good" Sarah agreed, moving forward slightly so that her husband could scoot past her, and take the seat next to hers. "I didn't even notice it was this late"

"Me neither" Addie added, letting Finn have her hand once he was seated. "I'm happy you didn't have to fight today" 

"I am too. My knuckles are still bleeding from last time" Finn complained, displaying his black and blue hands. "Not to mention that I think there might still be blood on the pitch"

"My bad, I split some guy's head open" Isaiah admitted, shrugging. "In my defense, he had a knife, and I wasn't about to let him stab one of us" 

"Fair" Sarah joked, laying her head on his shoulder. It was selfish, but she liked the way his eyes looked when he was tired. His lips were slightly dry as well, and she felt bad for how much him and Finn did on a daily basis. It clearly took a toll on them, but it was nothing that a good night of sleep couldn't fix. "Be careful, eh?"

"Always. Can't risk not coming home to your beautiful face" 


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!

"Ms. Price, it was me who asked Sarah and Lacey to deliver those lectures. You will let them teach what you need to teach, and not a word against it" Polly Gray demanded, her patience running out when it came to the new headmistress. "You're a modern woman; surely you don't want your older girls to be completely clueless about matters such as these ones" 

"Actually, mrs. Gray, I do think that they should remain as clueless as possible, until they are married" ms. Price insisted, forcing Sarah, who was also present, to roll her eyes. It seemed impossible that someone was so close-minded, and as willing to put young girls at risk, when it wasn't necessary. 

"How can you say that? How can you actually believe that? Do you think these girls are going to wait until marriage to have sex? In what world do you live in, ms. Price?" Sarah protested, truly wanting to get to the bottom of that mentality. 

"Mrs. Jesus, just because you were whoring around when you were their age, doesn't mean they will" ms. Price scoffed, a horribly arrogant smile on her lips. 

"Excuse me?" Sarah asked, taking the necessary steps to get as close to the headmistress as she could, looking her right in the eyes. Luckily, Polly got inbetween the two of them, not allowing anything to happen. 

"Ms. Price, I'm relieving you of your duties. Please go to your quarters, pack up, and leave the premises, before I get someone to do it for you" Polly ordered, pointing the matron to the door. Beyond insulted, ms. Price actually obeyed, going to her room as fast as she could, apalled by the actions of both women. As it turns out, the Grace Shelby foundation wasn't the place for someone with morals, and she couldn't stay where things like sex and contraception were being taught. Some girls who were in the garden saw her departing with all her bags, and actually cheered, happy to be freed from such a horrible woman. 

"Sarah, forget about her, forget about what she said. It doesn't matter, does it? She's gone" Polly said, patting Sarah's shoulder. "I should never have hired her, it was a mistake on my part" 

"That's alright, no worries, at all. There was no way you knew how awful she could be. But thank you. For standing up for me, and for letting me teach these classes. It means the world to me" Sarah replied, smiling widely. She really liked Polly, and deep down wished she was her mother, instead of the scumbag that was rotting in prison. 

"It's like you said: these girls are not going to wait until marriage, and they need to be taught about it" Polly shrugged, sitting behind ms. Price's desk, looking around with a fond look on her face. "Maybe I'll take her place. I could use something to distract me" 

"I actually think that would be the best case scenario" Sarah agreed, sitting in front of Polly, and letting out a sigh. "We still have such a long way to go until were treated fairly"

"I know we do. It's... it's scary to think these girls will go into the real world, and probably marry the first scumbag that proposes" 

"If we taught them well, I don't think they will. At least I hope they don't" the younger woman hoped, saying a silent prayer for her students. "I really do hope they're as lucky as I am" 

"So do I. So do I, sweetheart" Polly nodded, lighting a cigarette. "How long you've been married?"

"A bit over a year" Sarah informed, looking down at her hands, taking her time to adjust her engagement ring and wedding band. 

"And you're still happy"

"Very"

"Is my nephew Finn happy? Is Addie?" Polly asked, breathing in the smoke of the cigarette, and letting it out, in the direction of the window behind her. There was no ashtray nearby, so she flicked the ash through the very same window, seeing it float in the wind, before turning back to Sarah, who was still smiling, that intelligent, informed smile that said more than a thousand words, if one knew how to interpret it. 

"They are very happy, as far as I know. Marriage suits them, and they're very in love" Sarah assured, chuckling to herself. "You've nothing to worry about" 

"I know, I'm not worried. I just... I don't know, I sometimes wish his brothers had half the luck he did when it comes to wives" Polly let out, confessing something that had been bothering her for way too long. "Even Tommy likes Addie, and he doesn't like anyone besides his kids" 

"Yeah, I've noticed that. They're right for each other, they just are. I don't know, it's like they're meant for each other" Sarah agreed, thinking back to all the moments she had that very same though, just by looking at the young couple. 

"I think so too. I was scared, you know? Scared that he would die before his time because of the drugs, scared to lose the little boy I raised. And then, when you pulled him out of his addiction, and he met Addie... I was scared of losing him like I lost Tommy: I can see him, it's the same body, but inside... inside he's gone, he has been gone for a long time" 

"That sounds... horrible. I know Tommy is a good man, I know he's only trying to protect his family, and do what he can to make sure all of you are taken care of, and live with comfort. Hell, I owe him everything, I owe him being able to sleep at night, knowing very bad people are in prison. But I also know he's troubled, and that he needs help. I just don't know what that help is" Sarah admitted, looking discouraged. She could see the pain in Polly's face when it came to addressing Tommy, and it hurt her to see such despair. 

"Me either, sweetheart. Me either. I'm not even sure he can be helped. But what you said is true: he is trying to do what he can to keep us comfortable. To give us what we never had" Polly sighed, not knowing why she was saying all those things to Sarah Williams. Maybe because it was easy, because she was family, but the kind of family who was far enough to see things clearly. 

"Of course. And he's doing a good job, which he couldn't do without all of you around him" Sarah added, reaching across the table to pat Polly's hand. "It's not just him; it's all of you. You work for what you have, and you give back to those less fortunate. It's a very beautiful thing" 

* * *

Finn was aware of the noises he was making, but he also knew there was no one there to hear them. Besides, the door was locked, so even if someone could hear him, they wouldn't be able to come barging in, putting an end to his activities. Such activities were also the reason why it was such a bad idea for Addie to visit him for lunch: it would always end up with her bending over a desk, or perched upon his lap. 

"Finn, someone will hear us" Addie whispered, doing her best to not moan too loud, although Lord knew she wanted to. "Pet, oh my god"

"No one's here" Finn managed to say, going as far as picking up the pace, causing the table to creak very loudly. "No one's here. I locked the door. Holy shit, you feel good, love"

Suddenly, there was loud banging coming from the front door, the same one he had locked. But by God, Finn Shelby would be damned if he stopped what he was doing just because some idiot wanted to place a stupid bet. Besides, he knew very well what it felt like when his precious wife was about to be done, and it was happening now. No, there was absolutely no way he was going to stop. 

"FINN! Finn, open this door, or so help me God, I will kick it down myself, lad!" 

A minute, all he needed was a minute after Addie had come for him to follow suit, breathless, legs cramping, but thoroughly satisfied by how his lunch had gone. Making sure to bring Addie close to him, he kissed her, ignoring once more the banging on the door, and helping her with her stockings and dress, before buttoning his trousers, pulling up his suspenders, and going to unlock the door. 

"What did I tell you?" Sarah mocked, hands on her waist, clearly mocking Isaiah, who looked more than a little offended. "Why would he have locked the door if he wasn't spending quality time with Addie? Hello to you both, by the way" 

"Ah well, can't blame the kid, can we? I mean, there was that time at Tommy's house..." Isaiah remembered.

"The sacristy..." Sarah matched, going down the two steps, and winking at Addie, who could not be more flustered if she tried. 

"The living room sofa, too" Isaiah added, succeeding in making Finn go from satisfied and at peace, to slightly nauseous. 

"You did what, where? The sacristy?" Addie asked, her pupils wide. "You're joking" 

"Absolutely am not, actually" Sarah assured, shrugging, as if that information was absolutely not important. "That's besides the point" 

"It's not. Where exactly at Tommy's house? Somewhere I've been to?" Finn enquired, furrowing his brow. "Does he know?" 

"No, of course not, why would he know? I don't even know myself. A broom closet?" the preacher's son tried to remember, but came up empty. He remembered the look Sarah had given him, and where her hand had been under the dinner table. "Wait, were there horses?"

"No, no horses. The winter garden? Were there plants?" Sarah asked, seriously trying to remember. "Oh well, who cares. We're sorry to interrupt your little moment, but..."

"The SOFA? I'VE SAT THERE. YOUR FATHER SITS THERE!" Finn pointed out, losing his cool. "Oh lord, I don't feel great, I'm gonna be sick" 

"Shut up, will you? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and all that" Isaiah advised, looking around, hands in his pockets, clearly looking for something he couldn't find. "No, it isn't here"

"Damn it, where is it, then? Can't believe we came all this way, only to find nothing" Sarah frowned, searching as well. "Did any of you see a Winchester? Arthur says he left his here, but it isn't where he said it would be" 

"No, I haven't seen a... Winchester, you called it? The rifle?" Addie asked, receiving nods in return. "I truly haven't seen it"

"Me either. It wasn't here when I arrived this morning, I would've noticed. Isn't it at his house? No, Linda wouldn't allow it" Finn scoffed, immediately feeling bad for laughing at his older brother. 

"You think someone took it?" Addie suggested, chewing on her lip. "A lot of people come around here... but if it wasn't here this morning... The Garrison?"

"Maybe? I'll call them" Finn offered, going to pick up the phone, and dialing the pub's number. 

But no, no one had seen the weapon, which could only lead to one conclusion: it had been stolen. 


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all this just smut at this point sorry  
> 

In a year and a half, everything, and nothing, changed: Isaiah still loved Sarah Williams with all his heart, body, and soul; they had gone from wanting to start a family as soon as possible, to appreciating the freedom that came with being just the two of them; and, last but not least, the preacher's boy had grown into a man who put the title of Sarah's husband ahead of any other. His was a good life, the type of life that any young man would kill for. As for Sarah, the reason of his ideal life, words had long been forgotten when it came to describing her. These days, he'd much rather show her, than tell her. 

"Ok, no, we can't do this" Sarah laughed, almost giggled, despite letting Isaiah take her by the hand and take her to the back of the church. "I've no idea where we're going, but it's a bad idea"

"Come on, if it's such a bad idea, you could surely fight me a bit harder" Isaiah responded, looking back, with what could only be described as a mischievious smile on his face. "Besides, wouldn't be the first time, eh?"

"That was... well, that was one time" she reminded, crossing the threshold that granted access to the backrooms of the temple. In there, absolute silence. Despite knowing the backrooms of the church very well, Sarah was still not comfortable with all the quiet and even with the darkness. However, inone of those things lasted for very long: as soon as they turned the corner and entered the room used as a classroom, the lights came up and a bunch of people came out from where they were hiding, shouting 'happy birthday' as loud as they could. 

"Happy birthday, my love" Isaiah said as well, kissing his wife on the cheek and making sure she was smiling, before wrapping an arm around her waist. 

"Thank you... oh my god, I can't... you did all this?" Sarah asked, looking up at him, beaming with happiness. "I really wasn't expecting to..."

"Happy birthday!" Addie exclaimed, hugging Sarah as close as she could, to the point where the bithday girl couldn't really breathe. "Are you surprised? We have cake, too" 

"Oh wow, thank you, that's... sorry, I'm... will you... will you excuse me? I'll be right back" Sarah was forced to say, knowing it was odd to escape her own party, but needing to find a bathroom as quickly as humanly possible, as her stomach seemed to spina round inside her body. Thankfully, there was a powder room nearby, and she managed to lock the door behind her. 

As for the ones left behind, none of them knew what to do. Addie was staring at the door, Isaiah was considering chasing after Sarah, and even Finn had walked up to them, not knowing what to say or do. 

"Is she alright? Does she not like surprises?" Addie asked, sincerely starting to feel guilty for helping Isaiah put together something that had brought such discomfort. "I feel awful"

"No, of course she likes surprises. She does, I'm sure she does. She looked so happy when you guys came out, but then... You know what, I'm going to see if she needs help" Isaiah ended up deciding, somehow able to follow his wife's perfume to the lavatory she had locked herself in. Unfortunately, all he could do was call her name, try to see if she needed him, if she needed anything.

"I'm alright, really. Please tell everyone I'm very sorry, and that I'll go back right away" Sarah responded, her voice muffled by the wooden door. "I'm so sorry, love, you went to all this trouble and now I've ruined it" 

"Of course you haven't ruined it, it's alright. Nothing to be sorry about. Are you feeling unwell? Lacy is here, maybe she could come see if there's a medicine you can get?" Isaiah offered, sitting down on the floor itself. 

"She is? No, I... I think I'm alright now. I don't feel nauseous anymore" she informed, unlocking the door and opening it, much to Isaiah's surprise, who couldn't get up before the door opened. "Probably just something I ate, you know?"

"Yeah, probably it" he agreed, pulling her into a hug and feeling her temperature against him. She didn't seem to have a fever, but nevertheless, he'd be keeping an even more watchful eye on her throughout the party, to make sure she didn't feel anything else alarming. "You want to rest for a bit? We could go to my dad's office, I could get you some tea, or water" 

"Oh no, no thank you. I'm alright. Seriously, whatever it was, it's gone away now. Thank you for checking up on me, but I'm really alright" Sarah replied, taking her husband's arm and walking by his side to the classroom. 

"Ok, I'll trust you... but if you feel anything, anything at all, let me know and I'll take you to the hospital right away. Or home, wherever you feel more comfortable" Isaiah promised, as they walked into the party again, and were met with Lacy, a cup of chamomile tea, and some butter biscuits. The relief was evident on everyone's face upon seeing Sarah return in better spirits, and the party went on without any sort of mishap. There really was cake, and drinks, not to mention the sheer amount of love all those present had for the birthday girl, who couldn't shine any brighter. 

* * *

Sarah sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall. She was pretty sure she'd forgotten something, but she couldn't remember what it was. Even worse, she didn't know whether it had been something important, or something trivial: there was just this overwhelming sensation of something left undone. And as the proactive, perfectionist hard-worker she was, it was too annoying to allow her to simply get into bed, and go to sleep. 

"Are you... are you waiting for something?" she heard her husband's voice calling from behind her. 

"Waiting for... no, that's not it. It's something else. I feel like I've forgotten something, you know? Like I've skipped over something, or missed an appointment, or something" 

"It's two in the morning, princess. We just came back from seeing all your friends, and even your students. You didn't forget anything, I can assure you of that" Isaiah chuckled, getting rid of the several layers of his suit, and making sure they were put away before he headed into the bathroom. "Did you like your birthday?" he asked from the aforementioned division, while he washed his face and hands. 

"Oh, it was amazing, thank you so much for everything" Sarah sincerely responded, her mind quickly drifting from whatever she had missed, to how sometimes Isaiah would emerge from the bathroom with little droplets of water on his chest. She liked the way they picked up on his complexion, and liked the way his soap smelled. Honestly, there was nothing about him she didn't like, and she had seen pretty much all of it, body and soul. In the place she'd dedicated to that strange anxiety, a new emotion started to grow: antecipation. Whatever the reason, she needed him, and she needed him to come to bed right now, or else she was going to burst into very loud, very hysterical, tears. Thinking that maybe he'd hurry up if she stared at the bathroom door, Sarah turned that way, even squinting her eyes to make him move faster. 

"Glad to hear it, beautiful. I might be gone for a bit longer than usual tomorrow, Arthur wants to go see about these guys who deal in stolen items, to see if..." the preacher's son started to say, but as soon as he crossed the threshold into his bedroom, he was jumped, and forced to hold on to his wife so that they wouldn't fall into the ground. 

"You took forever" she sighed, attacking his neck with kisses, not even thinking about the antecipated water droplets anymore: she needed him, needed him to come to bed, and needed him to be hers, even if it was two in the morning, and her lower back hurt like all hell, all of a sudden. 

"Oh, sorry, do you need to use the..." 

"I need you" she simply informed, going from his neck to his lips. At that point, Isaiah simply decided not to question whatever was happening to him, opting instead for giving his wife whatever it was she wanted. Sure, he was tired, but everyone knew birthday sex was one of the best kinds, and he sure as hell wanted to give Sarah one last, slightly late, birthday gift. 


	36. Chapter 36

Lacy looked at her friend, top to bottom, elbows on the counter of the pharmacy. Her cheeks were flushed, she looked incredibly healthy, but that didn't mean everything was alright: at the present moment, Sarah was fanning herself with a newspaper, such was the intense heat she felt, out of nowhere. Even stranger, it was the middle of winter, and everyone else was freezing cold. 

"Honey, you know I know you know what's going on" Lacy said, pursing her lips. "You're smart, aren't you? You know what happens when you throw caution to the wind, eh? Nevermind the conclusions you and Isaiah came to"

"We tried for a year, Lace. A full year, and nothing happened. We'll be married two years in four months. What the hell kind of timing is that?" Sarah asked, refusing to believe what Lacy thought was a done deal. A baby hadn't popped up with a year of attempts, and eight months of unprotected sex had done nothing, either. Why would it happen now? Thus, it had to be something else: food poisoning, a weird virus, something else, anything other than a baby. 

"Are you seriously trying to tell me you don't know the powers above work in mysterious ways? Come on, girl. You need to get yourself to the hospital. You need to go see a doctor, and you need to get tested" Lacy replied, gathering a mix of herbs that helped with nausea. She'd seen plenty pregnant women hail that mixture as life saving, and even if Sarah refused to believe the obvious, it would help her too. "If you're not, no harm done; if you are, better to know from the get go, so that everything can go smoothly" 

"Shit, Lacy..." Sarah sighed, suddenly feeling all the cold around her, and a strong urge to cry. "I know you're right. I just... don't want to get my hopes up, to then... and I really, really don't want to tell Isaiah about it. I can't crush him like that again" 

"Sweetheart, don't do this to yourself. I can't leave the shop, but I'm ready to bet Addie will come in a jiffy, and you know she can drive, now. She'll take you to the doctor, and you'll get some answers. I know how you feel about not being sure2 Lacy stated, picking up the phone off the wall, and calling Addie's home. As expected, the newspaper editor ran out of her home, turned on the car, and appeared in front of the pharmacy in less than five minutes. 

"How do you feel? What is happening?" Addie asked, when the two of them were already en route to the Birmingham City Hospital. Addie herself had only been once, and the context of it was anything but pleasant. In any other situation, she was sure she'd refuse to even go in; but this wasn't any other situation, it was Sarah, who was not feeling well. The mere thought of something being wrong with her best friend made her heart stop, and there were tears already forming on the corners of her eyes by the time Sarah got into the passenger seat. 

"I was really warm like five minutes ago. And now I'm cold. And I feel like crying, I feel... I don't even know how I feel, Addie. And my lower back is killing me, and I don't know what in the stupid hell is going on, and I don't want to hope for... but Lacy thinks that's what it is, but it can't be, I already gave up on that" Sarah muttered, not making a lot of sense, but painting a picture that left Addie no other choice but to agree with Lacy. 

"Well, I'm not a doctor, so I don't know what to say... We're going to find out what is happening, I promise you. They're really nice at this hospital" Addie responded, carefully parking the car and helping Sarah into the main lobby of the building, where a nurse showed them to a waiting area, full of people with different types of ailments and diseases. 

"I hate it here" Sarah whispered, leaning her head back against the wall, and going as far as whining. It was as if someone had taken the stoic Sarah Williams, and replaced her with a spoiled child. However, not one minute later, that was gone too, being replaced with what could only be described as panic. "Can we go? Let's please just go, I don't like hospitals" 

"I know, love, but it's for the best! You weren't feeling well, and it's been going on for a bit. I'm sorry, but you need to be looked after" Addie tentatively said, placing her arm around Sarah's shoulders, hoping she wouldn't get up and run for the hills. Thankfully, the doctors didn't give her that oportunity, and called her into an infirmary so they could get some blood samples, and examine her further.

"For how long have you been feeling like this?" a nice doctor asked, a chart and a pen in each hand. 

"Ah, well... Maybe since my birthday? That was about a month ago. But it comes and goes, and different things happen" Sarah tried to explain, although her tongue seemed to be too big for her mouth, and her brain had apparently shrunk. "Like I'm really hot one minute, then I'm cold, and I'm nauseous and then I' starving. And my lower back... my lower back is..."

"Is your period missing?" the doctor asked, writing something down on the piece of paper. Addie couldn't bring herself to watch what was happening, although she'd been allowed to be in the room. As terrible as it sounded, it was also slightly entertaining to see Sarah looking at the doctor as if he was an undercover agent, trying to extract state secrets from her. 

"My... that's what I forgot. That's what was missing. Yeah, it's... it's missing" the teacher confessed, her voice so quiet it was like she was talking to herself. "It's missing" 

"Alright, I'm just going to have a nurse come around to get a blood sample, and we can see what we can do" the doctor smiled, before turning around and leaving the two of them in the infirmary, surrounded by white curtains, concealing them from the other patients. 

"Shit, shit, shit..." Sarah kept on muttering, clinging to her stomach as though her intestines would fall off at any given moment. "How could I... How could this..." 

"It's alright, you're alright. I bet they'll come back to tell us everything is alright" Addie smiled, trying to stay positive, all while praying to every god of every religion. "Do you want me to get Isaiah here, now?" 

"What? No, no, thank you, but no. I don't want to worry him... or... no, once I... once I know what's going on, I'll go home, and when he arrives, I'll tell him" Sarah assured, resting her head against the pillow, and taking as deep a breath as she possibly could. "Thank you, so much... for coming with me. But you don't need to stay any longer, I'll be fine"

"Absolutely not, don't even think of that. I will stay here until you can go home" Addie protested, furrowing her brow. 

In total, the two of them stayed at the hospital for about two hours, but the time between the taking of the samples and the arrival of the results seemed way longer than that. The same doctor came back, holding some more papers, and a relaxed demeanour. Everything about him was calm and collected, which made Sarah's absolute panic seem more out of place, to the point where Addie didn't know what else to do. 

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but I've good news, mrs. Jesus. There's nothing wrong with you, unless you consider being two-months pregnant a bad thing" the doctor beamed, glad to be able to at least give someone good news in a day filled with injuries and illnesses. "Everything seems to be perfectly well, but you're not far along enough for us to hear the heartbeat"

* * *

There were two people who needed to be informed, as fast as possible: the father, and the grandfather. For some time, Sarah considered telling them at the same time, but it was soon became too obvious that Isaiah needed to hear those news from her, just the two of them, preferably somewhere without anyone else around. Unfortunately, it took the husband in question some time to come back from his duties at the betting shop, and by the time he entered their home, Sarah was bordering on desperate. 

"Hi, gorgeous, how are you?" Isaiah smiled, hanging his coat, smoothing down his hair, and kissing Sarah on the lips, wondering how come she was sitting on the couch, without moving a muscle, without as much as a cup of tea or a book in her hand. "Is everything alright?" 

"Hi. I'm doing great. You?" she gingerly asked, tilting her head to the side, her face a complete mask of indiference. 

"I uh... I'm fine. Are you... are you sure you're feeling well?" the doting husband enquired, sitting by his wife's side, and taking her hands. "Not to sound whiny, you know, but you..." 

"Isaiah. Isaiah, stay seated" Sarah interrupted, turning on the seat to face him, although the poor lad hadn't even thought of breathing, let alone moving from where he was, trapped under her gaze and his notion that she really was acting differently than usual, and his mind made him fear the absolute worst. "Don't get up, you're going to want to stay seated for this" 

"Is it bad news? Good news? You're... honestly, you're killing me, right now. Just say it" Isaiah begged, finding it even stranger that his distress made a huge smile form on his wife's lips, reaching her eyes, engulfing her figure and making her even more beautiful than she already was. 

"I went to the doctor... took a blood sample, even... and uh... well. We did it. I don't know how, but I'm... I'm pregnant, we're having a baby, god willing" she simply said, not knowing what to expect from her husband, whose irises had dilated like never before, but the rest of his handsome features were completely paralysed. But then, slowly, the news seemed to sink in, he seemed to believe it. 

"Baby... A baby... Our baby?" Isaiah asked, taking Sarah's hands, and pulling her to him, holding her as close as humanly possible. "Love, are you serious? Holy fuck, are you serious?" 

"I am" Sarah confirmed, nodding to make sure the message went across. "Two months along" 

"Two months... oh my god..." Isaiah whispered, hiding his face in Sarah's head, unable to keep himself from crying harder than ever before. "And are you alright? Do you need anything?"

"No, no, I'm alright, everything is great. I wasn't feeling great earlier, and I sometimes have these weird things. But the doctor I saw today said it's all normal: the hot flashes, and the crying, and the... honestly, the whole thing" Sarah assured, crying too from simply seeing her husband so moved. "Are you crying because you're happy, or are you sad? I know we decided not to try any longer"

"I am so fucking happy. Sarah, this is the most incredible news I have ever gotten. I love you so fucking much, this is an absolute dream come true" Isaiah said, inbetween sobs. "I'm sorry for crying" 

"It's fine, of course it is. Don't be sorry for anything. I love you too, you're going to be the best daddy" she smiled, kissing her husband on the cheek and on the lips. "Next month we can go listen to the baby's heart"

"Yeah? Shit, I'm going to cry again" Isaiah sighed, wiping his cheeks. "I cannot wait to meet our little one" 

"Me either. And of course, we need to tell your dad, but I thought it was better to tell you first"

"I'm happy I didn't have to cry in front of my dad. I'm going to make us some tea" he decided, before realising that would mean letting go of his pregnant wife, which he really didn't want to do. His hand now belonged on her lower stomach, and there was always the possibility of Sarah needing anything, and he needed to be on hand for that. "Or maybe some water? Some snacks? Anything?" 

"I'm fine, I don't need anything, thank you. Don't worry about us, we'll be alright" 

"I know you will, and the baby too. But I don't want to be the kind of dad who makes you do all the work. I want to get you everything you need, and be with you every step of the way" 

"Ugh, you're so sweet, you're going to make me cry" Sarah responded, laying her head on his shoulder. "I love you, Isaiah" 

"I love you too, Sarah. And you, baby" Isaiah replied, kissingn her lips, and bending over to kiss her stomach, trying to somehow tell his unborn child that his or her father would be by their side, no matter what. 


End file.
